


The Angel Of Darkness

by SanguineHope



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Aliens, Angst, Archangel - Freeform, Death, Doubt, Earthborn, Earthborn (Mass Effect), F/M, Fluff, Gen, Mass Effect 1, Mass Effect 2, Mass Effect 3, Other, Post-Mass Effect 3, Tenth Street Reds, angel of darkness, post reapers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-05-03 09:52:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 53,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5286179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SanguineHope/pseuds/SanguineHope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roxanne finds herself back on earth after nearly dying from destroying the reapers. With a few of her companions nearby to ensure her safe recovery, she finds herself dealing with something more then just her relationship and her military position: she's confronted by her past and a name she never thought she would hear again: The Angel of Darkness. She is determined to find out why this name is back on the streets again and trying to confront a past she has long sought to forget. </p><p>------------</p><p>TO ANY AND ALL WHO READ THIS!</p><p>I decided I'm going to upload ALL the chapters. Unfortunately I have not proofread them nor have I really editted them but I just don't have the time. BUUUT, I do plan to do so at some point. Right now, though, its not possible but I would hate to leave you all hanging.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The dust billowed around the resting destruction of the Citadel. It had been Earth’s, no, the galaxy’s last hope. Now it was a wasteland. Days past, and all she smelled was thick bitter smoke. It made her cough and caused her entire body to pulse in pain.

The silence was peaceful but unnerving. This silence Roxanne drank in, allowing it to soak to the depth of her bones. It counteracted the fear and the doubt, giving her a sense of quiet impact it made. But it also threatened her as each worrying thought emerged inside of her mind. The void of silence filed with her anxieties and leached onto her false hopes. It was that eerie stillness which both poisoned and protected her.

The remnants of the Citadel floated in space but every so often Roxanne eyes opened slightly to look past the wreckage. In the beyond, she glimpsed the shimmer blue waters of her planet. Earth. The reapers lost the war and a small part of her heart beat with relief.

Every bone in her body ached. Just breathing alone hurt as she tried to will herself to move. Her memories danced before her eyes, blurring the lines of reality and the dream world. Her dreams were confusing but at one point she remembered lounging on a beach with the sun warm against her tan skin. She didn’t want to be awake; she wanted to sleep, to stay asleep. _Come on Roxanne, get up._ She told herself but she couldn’t move. Death rested on the brink of her mind as her muscles seized up in pain.  But she lived and clung to that reality.

Her hand reached through the rubble but laid it down on the ground. She opened her eyes to notice the wreckage pinned her right arm and leg against the ground, leaving little room to move to a safer location. The ringing sound in her ear echoed painfully as her mind begged her to sleep once more. _No, I won’t give in._ She reminded herself. It was difficult not to give in to a full sleep, but she needed to fight. How long had she even been here? She remembered waking up several times only to crash back out, and she hardly moved from her spot.

Something roared in her ears above as she cringed. Each breath seared with agony in her lungs as she tried to move her hands to pushed off the rubble on her body. There wasn’t much strength left in her body, only enough for small movements. It proved to be enough to keep her alive, but for how long? She didn’t grasp how much life she had left and sensed her time grew closer. She tried to keep her promise to Garrus, but she didn’t think she was capable of much more. As she tried to shift her body, Roxanne nearly cried out in pain as the stone crush down upon her right leg. Now she remembered why she refused to leave, the stone pinned her leg against the ground.

Roxanne realized why she clung to her dreams. It kept her alive, waiting. Of all the people in the galaxy, she realized her friends would find her. Part of her worried for them though. Did they survived the blast that came from the Citadel? And how did she survive the blast? That question she doubted she would ever find the answer to.

Whatever happened, they would return to find her. Even if she took her last breath alone here, deep down she knew she would never be alone. Her friends would be there to pick her up and return her to where she belonged. And even in the afterlife, she would find them. That part, she didn't fear. Her loyalty and confidence in her friends would never waver.

But she had to fight, and her dreams allowed her to survive. All her nightmares receded as she focused her thoughts on other dreams. Her survival depended upon it. But even her dreams turned into nightmares, the heavy burden of the lost still singing through her dreams.

So much death came from her choices, and even though she reminded herself it was for the good of the world, the one question rested on her thoughts. What about the cost? No matter what advice she received, she still blamed herself for the loses on each planet, from Thessia to Palaven. If she’d been stronger, faster, even more convincing. She questioned herself many times on the decisions she picked last second. Such questions lining with the council to searching harder for proof. Maybe she could have saved one more life. She knew she picked the best decision given to her, but none of these decisions would ever be the right one. Each choice always cost a price, the decision was which one resulted in a better outcome. But was it really worth it? The reminder of the sacrifices she made would always haunt her. She hoped she had done the right thing for the Galaxy. In the end, she wanted the cycle removed so people could live, so that life would continue its circle of life.

But she also didn’t want them to come, they dealt with enough danger for a lifetime. Were the reapers even defeated or did something deceive her? This is what the silence did, it made her question herself. Part of her believed this was a haunting prison much like Leviathan had almost stuck her in, leaving her alone for all eternity. But if this reality truly existed, her desire to ensure the safety of her comrades came first. No matter how much she wanted to live, she would not want her life to cost the lives of others. There was no point saving her if her friends died in the process. That suffering was something they didn’t need on their shoulders.

“Span out, we aren’t leaving. If anyone could survive this, it’s Lola.” A voice echoed in her ear. She jumped back to consciousness, nearly missing their words. She tried to remember who it was. But the crushing pain against her skull taunted her with a migraine from hell. It sounded familiar though, like an old friend she refused to forget.

“But what if she isn’t here?” The raspy voice of another she remembered caught her attention. The fluid sound of the silvery voice held doubt, human she knew. She tried to figure out who it belonged to but the pressure against her skull throbbed with fire. Their voices came from a distance and she could hardly move. Roxanne tried to speak out but the dryness in her throat cause her voice to crack. A thousand tiny needles pressed into her chest but she refuse to let that dictate if she grabbed their attention or not.

“She’s here, and she’s alive. She has to be, she promised me and she would never break that.” That voice. It was a voice she would never forget. Such confidence brimmed from his voice that brought life into her heart and gave her a second wind. Heaven or hell, she would always remember. She wanted to call out to him but her voice was barely functional. “Ga–” The amount of effort to speak sparked pain against her chest and she cringed in pain.

With her one useful arm, she reached over to find anything to use. Her eyes slit open just enough to glance around as the darkness dared to drag her back underneath its blankets. Her fingers slipped around her dog tags and a small smirk crossed her lips. With what little strength she had she hit them against the rubble. Clink clink clink. She couldn’t hear anything or a response which left her throat tightening up as she tried again.

Each time she hit the stone, she paused to listen for any indication they heard her. However, silence came to her ear and she started to hit her tags harder. The intensity of her tags hitting the rocks rang louder with angry desperation. with her signal unanswered only made her determination beam from her willpower.

The clicking of her tags continued for minutes on end. Whatever the timeframe, she fought against the pain and make the tapping. This Citadel was a huge location to search, and she knew they would search day and night if they had to. Liara searched the entire galaxy for her body once before. Even in death, they would find her, they were a team.

“Wait, did you catch that?” A voice spoke up as Roxanne realized they caught the sound of her signal. Immediately, she clicked the SOS once more with distress. She continued to hit so hard that she felt the warmth of the blood running from the cuts as she broke the skin open.

“I think it’s coming from over there.” These voices blended together, and she found it difficult to register each voice to the name. At least it gave her something to focus on, to stay awake. But one thing was clear; they belonged to her comrades. The rumble against the ground caused her to groan as she kept hitting the tags against the rubbing.

“She’s here! Right here!” At that moment she sensed a hand grab hers that held her dog tags just as she was about to hit them against the rubble again. “Roxanne, don’t you let go, we got you.” His smooth voice reminded her of the rain, cool and comforting. She opened her eyes to see the familiar face. The sharp details of sapphire glowing eyes and the navy blue war painted over his face. She knew it by heart. Even through the blurry vision, she always remembered his face.

“I have the stone, hold on.” The soft feminine voice spoke as she lifted the rubble off of Roxanne. Roxanne cringed at the rush of pain into her body but endured the agony that reminded her she still lived. She forced her teeth so tightly together and her hand crushed against Garrus’. But she wouldn’t cry out, she didn’t want to do that now that life touched her fingertips. “We need to get her medical attention immediately. Joker, do you copy?” She never doubted they would find her, but she feared the danger. Liara’s voice rang against her ear as she requested for Joker as she finally registered it.

“Dammit Shepard, you can’t scare me like that! Don’t you dare let go.” Roxanne refused to let go of his hand as he reached around and pulled her into his arms. The comfort of being in his embrace soothed her soul.

“Garrus…” Her voice cracked as she leaned against him. She needed to talk, but something was crushing against her chest causing her pain.

“Shh, rest, We’re taking you home.” He whispered as she let the weight fall off her shoulders. Her one good hand reached over to grab his armor. It was cold to the touch, but natural unlike the rubble that had been her burial grounds for days now. She tried to grab it but her hands were too weak to even hold her tags much less the armor. But whatever strength she had left she grabbed it with thorough resolve like a last lifeline. Her eyes glassed over as relief washed over her but a single feeling lingered against her thoughts.

Fear.

If she let go, what if she didn’t come back? Her heart raced as she clung to him harder. Something inside of her panicked, and she wasn’t use to it. With wide eyes she stared at him as the tug of sleep pulled on her.

“Help,” She whispered, not caring about looks or strength. Garrus held her in his arms as the roar of the engine came around drowning out her ears.

“I have you. I won’t let anything happen to you.” That rich voice, the tenacity in his eyes, it calmed her nerves. She did her best to keep her eyes from fluttering shut, losing focus as the crew rushed her on board. But there was little holding her there. The exhaustion washed over her body as she finally let herself go. She fought this long enough and with the trust she held in them, she let go of her fear and allowed herself to fall into the dark abyss of her dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

The soft flow of water splashed against Roxanne’s feet as she watched up into the bright blue sky. Roxanne laid reclined against the ground, her back resting against the heated sands. The warmth of the sun bathed her skin as she let out a deep sigh of contentment. Her fingers dug into the hot sands as a gentle breeze running through her hair. She pushed herself up halfway as she surveyed the surrounding landscape. Nothing for miles long and wide. The state of peaceful tranquility ran over her like a blanket and she found no desire to leave.

“Whatever I have to do can wait a few more hours.” She sighed as she stretched her arms above her head. Her fingers ran along her arms and held both arms for a moment.

Sitting there, though, Roxanne felt something out of place. Like the entire moment could be too good to be true. It was too quiet, and too alone. She pulled her legs up to her chest as her arms wrapped around them.

The atmosphere shifted in the distance to a blackened sky. Storm clouds began to loom overhead as they blotted out the sunlight, contorting the bright colors into grays. The emergence of the storm caused the peace of the beach to turn into a hurricane of a storm. The echos of the wind turned into howls of disarray. With quick speed unlike normal storms, it surrounded Roxanne, taunting her with darkness. The thunder boomed in the distance with a drumroll before the added flashes of lightning join in on the chaos.

The sharp crack of lightning lacing through the sky along with the thunder cause her to jerk and curl closer into herself. The memories race through her mind at the flashes as being a young child. Tormented by electric shocks lashing against her skin. Bright flashes of the lightning dance through the clouds, lighting up the sky. The stinging reminder laced into her skin as if she had just been struck by lightning. No one knew what had happened to her then, it was a secret she long kept hidden. The traumatic sensations of electrical shocks made her tough but gave her this fear that would never leave her alone.

The clouds unleashed a torrent of ice cold rain against her skin which chilled her to the bone. Howls of the wind hit her face as it lash her hair around like a whip. Here Roxanne could not control the storm, leaving her helpless. There was no more color, even her clothes had became as dull as a stone. The only color left was her red hair which was soaked and laying flat against her back.

None of this was right. Roxanne ran her fingers up through her hair, her nails scraping against her scalp as she cringed. “Wake up wake up wake up!” She repeated to herself.

Roxanne’s emerald eyes shot open with terror. Questions raced through her mind as she tried to understand where she was now. The lashing storm was gone. No warm sand shifted through her fingers anymore, only the aching reminder of her that she of her bodie’s agony. Her eyes blinked several times before she finally forced herself to sit up in her bed only to be stopped halfway in torment as she fell back down against the sheets. The realization that she was in a bed and her heart skipped a beat.

“Hey now, not so fast.” The voice caught her attention as Garrus touched her arm. Within an instant she let out a sigh but once more other thoughts ran into her mind.

“Wait, where are we?” Roxanne spoke with urgency. She questioned her sanity at the moment. She wouldn’t jump to conclusions about what had happened. It was also possible they were the truth. She only hoped that she had truly defeated the reapers, that everything she fought for had been accomplished.

“We are on the Normandy.” He spoke clearly as he leaned over and smiled. “Everything is fine now. Dr. Chakwas has you in the best care possible given, as always.”

Roxanne gazed at him for a moment before gathering in her surroundings. They weren’t in the medical bay as she expected. instead her Eyes took in the aquarium on the right side of the room and the collection of models in front of her. It was the Commander's room, her room. The only difference was the setup with all the medical supplies. She saw the IV in her arm and the bandages over her body. It was a small reminder she was only human before looking back toward Garrus.

“How long have I been out? Who’s commanding the ship? Where is everyone?”

Garrus’ expression soften as he had a chuckle on his mouth. “Always about the others. Just calm down, we are all here, everyone is alive.” Garrus spoke.

“Commander, you are awake. Would you like me to inform your friends?” EDI’s voice spoke from within the room as Roxanne groaned slightly, moving her one capable arm to rub her ears. At least she was capable of firing a weapon if needed. Worse case scenario put aside.

“Not yet EDI.” She softly stated.

“Very well Commander. As to your question, you have been out for one month, two weeks and five days. You’ve had a lot to recover from and went into a medically-induced coma. Your brain waves transmitted signaled that you were still actively alive and fluctuated, showing signs of dreaming. You heartbeat is normal rate but your blood count is still low. You’ve had several transfusions and –”

“Not right now EDI. I’m glad to know I’m alive.” A soft chuckle came from Roxanne’s lips as she waved her hand.

“Of course Commander. I’m glad to see you are awake as well.” EDI’s voice spoke as Roxanne glanced toward the ceiling.

“Do I hear relief?” The intercom went silent for a moment. A small smirk crossed over Roxanne’s lips as she waited for her response.

“I do not know what you mean Commander.”

Roxanne again chuckled and smiled. “Good to hear you are alive EDI. Give me ten minutes and you can inform the others.”

“Very well Commander. I would come up, but my body was destroyed during the blast. So if you need me, I will be in the Normandy system for now.” Roxanne nodded her head even though she realized EDI couldn’t see and glanced over to Garrus.

“What happened? After I– I need to understand what happened.” Garrus’ eyes stared at Roxanne as he squeezed her hand, careful with her body as she was worse for wear than before.

“Garrus?” Apprehension landed on her shoulders, fearing far worse had happened after she destroyed the catalyst.

A pause left her leaning toward him as her hand reached over to touch his. A slight grumble came from her lips as she pushed her body upwards, ignoring the weight in her chest that ached. Finally with a deep sigh she leaned against the headboard and realized that Garrus situated the pillows carefully around her so that her broken right arm was supported along with her back.

“Tali and I, we escaped. Our wounds were treated but nothing too serious. Everyone who, everyone perished on the way to the beam, except you. I don’t know how you did it Shepard, but you did the impossible. The reapers are dead, all of them. The relays are damaged as well, but nothing that can’t be rebuilt. I would say you couldn’t be rebuilt but well, you were.” He said with a smile and Roxanne laughed. “Let’s not do that again.” Garrus added.

She laid her head back against the headboard as she took a moment to let it sink in. “So it’s over.” She whispered as tried to move to face him better but the aches radiated throughout her body. Her smile slowly faded as she realized just how many people lost their lives and most of all, her dear friend Anderson. As it dawned on her, a numb shock rolled through her mind knowing the emotional stress it would cause at a later date. For now, she allowed it to slip from her mind as she had bigger things to deal with, such as recovering.

“Come now Shepard, you may cheat death, but you need to stay in bed. You have a lot to recover from still. Besides, Dr. Chakwas would have my carapace if she learned I let you get out of bed.” Roxanne didn’t realize what to think of that, she wasn’t use to sitting still. Her body ached, and she took a moment to look herself over in more detail.

Her left leg was wrapped within a splint and cast and visibly broken, along with her right arm covered in the same casting. And there was way too many bandages over her skin. It bugged her that she hardly had the ability to move and a slight grumble on her lips. To take her mind off of things, she changed the subject.

“I think I missed out on that drink at the bar. I’m a bit late at waking up.”

A soft laugh escaped her lips as Garrus reached over and brushed her hair careful away from her face. “A drink can wait, you’re alive and that’s what matters. You came back to me.” He whispered and leaned forward to rest his forehead against hers.

“I made a promise Garrus, I never break them.” She said as she reached up to touch his face, enjoying the soft touch of his skin. “Can you lay down by me, please?” She asked, her eyes gazing up at him. The way that he moved without a second thought brought a soft smile to her face. There was no hesitation, he was there for her as she was for him

. He moved around and carefully slipped into the left side of the bed beside her, making sure not to lay on any cords or tubes. She shifted even though the pain raced through her muscles so she could lay her head on his arm and rested against his left side.

“Let’s not do anymore stunts like that again. I know you’re crazy Shepard, but that was a bit much.” Garrus reminded her. Roxanne responded with a chuckled and nodded. How many times had she done something crazy and lived to tell the tale? Somehow, she had a sense it wouldn’t end, her life would always throw something her way.

“Well, I’m stuck in bed for now. Don’t think I can do anything crazy from here.” She muttered and glanced over at him. Garrus observed her as and Roxanne knew he was judging his words carefully.

“Roxy, if anyone can do it, you could. But let’s not.” He spoke with a grin as she chuckled and closed her eyes. The tension in her body slowly eased up with the little movement she made.

No matter how much Roxanne argued with herself, she noted she was in no capable condition to fight or even brush her own hair. Memory served her right as she thought back to Mars, when Ashley Williams nearly died at Cerberus hands. The Normandy’s medbay far out stood any medbay on other ships. But she also realized Chakwas would want to get her to a better facility with more advanced equipment that didn’t fit on the ship. If her condition appeared as severe as she figured getting on the planet would be best.

Silence lingered between the two but it comforted her. To many days had gone by where she couldn’t see his face and embrace in his sweet gestures. So for now, she allowed herself this selfishness. Though could she claim this was selfish? No, she refused to think that, for she had been fight for everyone the last few months. This moment, just these few moments she would snag for herself.

While sitting in silence, she pondered the idea of Earth. Since it still stood, she thought about showing some of it to Garrus. They had talked about it here and there but never thought she had the chance to actually show him. A smile crossed her lips as the thought grew into an idea.

“Garrus, how would you like to see where I was born?” She questioned with her eyes closed, allowing herself to relax so the sheer ache and damage faded from her mind.

“You mean on Earth?” Garrus questioned.

“Yeah. I figured since I can’t stay on the Normandy during this whole healing process they will probably transfer me to some Alliance hospital. Might as well be of my choosing.” She said and then spoke up. “EDI, tell Joker to set course to Dublin, Ireland. Also inform the Alliance Fairview Hospital about the situation.” The command in her voice took her for a shock as if she was rolling right back into her same position as before.

“Of course Commander.” EDI spoke up before Garrus shook his head.

“And I didn’t even have to tell you to get checked up. You really did hit your head hard there Shepard, didn’t you?” Garrus’ voice held a teasing note on it as Roxanne smiled with her eyes close, just enjoying this moment.

“Yes, I did.”


	3. Chapter 3

Roxanne was sick and tired and being confined to her bed. At days, she regretted even calling in and getting a room. But recovery was pretty fast and she was up and moving on her legs and using her arm once again. Determination was the key for Roxanne, and she never stopped. She knew that the only way to get moving was to do it on her own.

 

After a few months, she finally found herself able to leave her room to get out and explore the roads of Dublin once again. Instead of stuck in the hospital, she now had a small apartment that she was renting out. She was unsure of how long she would be on Earth and she wasn’t about to leave Garrus without a place to stay either.

 

She glanced in the mirror as she brushed her hair easily while staring at the scar that ran across her eyebrow. Her fingers slipped through her hair before pulling it back into a half up position. While doing so she felt like the past flashed before her eyes. She paused and closed her eyes, setting her hands on the counter. 

 

All those deaths, all the innocence once again haunted her mind. 

 

No, she allowed a smile to cross her lips. No, she would enjoy today. She had plans anyway, something she hoped Garrus might enjoy. “You ready Garrus?” She called out as she grabbed her N7 jacket and pulled it over her shoulders.

 

“Been ready for a while Roxie. Didn’t want to wake you though.” He said from outside and she shook her head with a smile on her lips.

 

“Then let’s get going, no reason to dull the day.” She said, as she stepped out of the bathroom and looked at the turian. Roxie couldn’t help but smile, as he had stayed with her even with the troubles of the universe. But the relays were still being reconstructed and there was no way to return to Palaven at the moment. Instead, he kept in contact with his family through the omni-tool and watched over her and her recovery.

 

Her fingers slipped out toward his hands and glanced at him. “What would I do without you?” She asked and he grinned as he stood up.

 

“Well, the Normandy would need a lot more calibrations and you wouldn't’ have someone to watch your back now.” Garrus teased as Roxanne laughed.

 

“I’m sure I could find someone to watch my back, but not with as good of a shot as Archangel.” She purred and leaned up on her toes to kiss him. “Come on, I have something to take you to. I use to visit this river over and over.” She spoke as her fingers curled along his hand and lead im out of the apartment.

 

Along the walk Roxanne leaned on Garrus, her leg a bit sore but no longer causing her pain to walk on. The joy to move etched over her face as she couldn’t stop smiling. The city appeared to be busy, with vehicles flying through the air and reconstruction occurring in certain areas but for the most part Dublin looked untouched. For once, Roxanne felt like this was the one area the Reapers didn’t touched. 

 

The old fashion boat came into view as Roxanne grinned. “There we go!” she said, as she squeezed Garrus’ hand who glanced at the boat. “Its old fashion, I know. But it's a simple pleasure.” She told him and looked at him.

 

“Anything with you is a pleasure Roxie. I won’t deny, it's odd to be doing something that doesn’t involve gunfire.” Garrus chuckled as Roxanne pulled out the tickets from her pocket and passed it to the ship attendant. He scanned the tickets and then passed them back. “You may board the deck.”

 

Slipping past the man, she lead Garrus to the front of the ship where she found a seat and sat down. Her fingers slipped along the muscles of her calf, rubbing out the aches of the morning walk.

 

“You alright Shepard?” Garrus asked and Roxanne nodded.

“Just feeling like a new recruit in basic training all over again.” She grumbled and Garrus reached over and grabbed her leg gently.

 

“Whoa, what are you doing?” Roxanne spoke with surprise as Garrus put up a finger. He skillfully ran his clawed fingers along her calf, massaging her muscle. “Oh, right there.” She said as she melted into her seat. Her eyes closed as she took a moment to enjoy the pain disappearing into the distance. “When did you learn to do this?”

 

A sly grin crossed over Garrus’ mouth as Roxanne raised a brow. “I have some hidden tricks up my sleeve. Can’t tell you everything now, it would ruin the surprises.” Roxanne smirked slightly as she rested her arms across her stomach.

 

“Pleasant surprises, that’s for sure.” She sighed as she took a moment to relax again. A shift in the boat cause Roxanne to open her eyes as she glanced around, noticing no one else was on board. “Well, that’s fishy.” Roxanne spoke with a sarcastic ring and glanced to Garrus. A brief nod came from Garrus as the both became alert, letting her leg go as she leaned forward. 

 

“Let’s see what happens.” She whispered, as the glanced toward the middle of the ship as fish swam around the glass bottom. The intercom also began to start, speaking about the history of the riverboat and of the Dublin river. However, Roxanne and Garrus seemed to be in a whole world other than this. Their attention slipped back into the old ways, taking in everything around them and ready for a bullet to fly.

 

Roxanne wondered just what could go wrong now. After the defeat of the Reapers she just wanted a few quiet moments but things were just getting weird. Besides, she didn’t know who would want to attack her on earth in the first place. A slight grumble came from her lips as nothing happened for the next twenty minutes but she kept her guard up. Once a marine, always a marine. 

 

A shift in the noise from the intercom made Roxanne dart her eyes upwards as a sound came over it. “You know, I thought you were on the side of humanity Shepard.” The honeyed voice left a chill down Roxanne’s neck as she gritted her teeth. She’s never heard the voice but she could already tell they couldn’t be trusted. “But obviously you only did it to unite all the races. How dare you turn your back on your own species. Look at you, cowering at their feet. We are better than that. If you want to prove yourself, Return to where you began.”

 

“Really, so you just speak over an intercom instead of telling me this to my face. Real brave.” 

 

“No need to be there.” The voice spoke and then the entire sound glitched and hissed over as Roxanne covered her ears at the shrill sound.

 

“Making friends everywhere we go.” Garrus said as he glanced around. He twisted and glanced toward the back of the ship. “Something’s clicking.” He said, and then shoved Roxanne out of the chair and he jumped back to the other side as suddenly a click could be heard and high rate shots could be heard.

 

“CAN’T I JUST HAVE ONE NORMAL DAY? JUST ONE!” Roxanne yelled as Garrus pulled out a M-97 Viper. At the same time, Roxanne pulled out M-3 Predator heavy pistol. “And to think, I wasn’t planning to bring this.” Roxanne muttered as Garrus just shook his head.

 

“We just found the party. We need to take out that turret gun.” A sizzling blue aura cover Roxanne as she activated her biotics, and an orb grew within her hand. She tossed it around the corner of the chair as a snap could be heard and the turret cracking before exploding from the mass impact of the throwing capability. 

 

“One down,” Roxanne mumbled as she peaked around the corner with her pistol at the ready. Garrus set up a defensive position to cover her back as she shifted out from behind the seats and moved toward the back of the boat. Her fingers slipped around a paper that had been hung up as her eyes glanced over it.

 

_ Knowing you Shepard, you take out this turret within seconds. I know of your Biotic capabilities, once again another form of betrayal to your people. Your family. The Tenth Street Reds will never forget. So let's see if you can save the aliens on this boat before it explodes into smithereens. _

 

“Dammit!” Roxanne said, throwing the note aside and shifting toward Garrus. “There are others on the ship! Can you find them Garrus?” He picked up his rifle and moved over toward Roxanne, touching her shoulder. “Will do, do what you need and we’ll meet at the back of the ship.”

 

Explosions, Roxanne knew a bomb had to be somewhere. Knowing the Tenth street reds, they would split things apart so it was a decision. With Garrus, she didn’t have to make a decision thank goodness. She ran the opposite direction where the steering wheel would be, as she could hear the ticking noise toward the front of the boat. Her hand moved down toward the boards and slammed her fist against the metal. Enough strength from her biotics and she broke the panel, tossing it aside as she glanced at the ticking bomb below. “Should have listened more to Tali.” She muttered to herself, thinking about the technician. She placed her pistol down as she glanced over the wires, ignoring the time limit. It was old fashion, as if trying to ensure it would blow up. 

 

Her fingers slipped along the wires, as she took a deep breath and had to make a guess. She slipped her hand into her boot where a knife was and took a wire before cutting it. Immediately, the ticking stopped and the flashing halted.

 

“That was too easy.” Roxanne said, as she stood up. “Garrus, we need to go, NOW!” She shouted toward the back of the ship as she cringed when her leg acted up slightly. She leaned against the chair for a moment before forcing herself forward to the back of the ship. 

 

“Done and done Shepard, but--” The sound from her omnitool sizzled as Roxanne knew what it was. Interference as a explosion happened and Roxanne felt the blast slam her backwards and immediately the front of the ship was on fire. She scrambled to her feet, grabbing her pistol and running to the back of the ship. Another explosion came from the left as it toss the ship sideways and Roxanne had to grab one of the side poles. Without a thought, she ran toward the side of the ship, and using her feet she propelled herself off the ship and dived into the water. 

 

The last explosion cause the entire ship to blast apart as she used the water to keep cover from the blast before breaking the surface of the water.

 

Roxanne gasp for air as she glanced at the burning ship as it sunk into the river. Her eyes narrowed toward the wreckage as felt her lips purse together. Roxanne knew what this was, the old memories of the past. But why? Why would they be after her?

 

“Shepard!” She heard the voice as she looked out to see Garrus and grabbed his arm. His grip secured her arm as she used his stability to set her feet on the side of the hull. She climbed out of the river and into the small rescue boat and glanced at the others.

 

“Everyone okay?” She asked, as she could see the terror in their eyes but no physical wounds on them. Her hands reached up into her hair as she drained out the water waiting for their delayed responses. The nodded their heads and then she glanced to Garrus. 

 

“Shepard, are you okay?” Garrus asked as he saw her silent eyes and she nodded, covering up any emotion she might have. At the moment, she didn’t want the others to see what she felt. But she knew what it was, her past started to haunt her thoughts and her fear of what they wanted.

 

“Course, lets get these people to safety.” She said, as she took the wheel to steer the boat to the edge of the pier. Once they were docked, the aliens quickly left the boat and headed toward the proper authorities who were waiting. Without a thought, she climbed out of the boat and quickly left the scene with Garrus behind her.

 

Her mind was filled with the thoughts of what she heard and what she read. It truly bothered her that this group was coming after her. Not that she couldn’t handle it but that her past was catching up with her. The mentalist in her was breaking apart every little thing and starting to analysis it, but the main words caught her interest. Return to where she began. The Tenth Street Reds gave her a message. Her fingers curled into a fist with the tension on her neck before feeling a hand on her shoulder.

 

“Roxanne, hold on.” He said, as she turned around. She could see his blue eyes fill with concern. No matter how hard she tried, he could always read her like a book.

 

“Garrus, we have things we have to do, but I rather talk behind closed doors.” She said, refusing to talk about her past to him. She brushed it off as she turned around and instinctively took his hand in hers. It was the past and she wouldn’t let him know. She had to handle this herself. She would get him home and deal with it. Of all people, she was sure Garrus would refuse to let her do this herself but she had to find a way to keep him safe.


	4. Chapter 4

Roxanne found her feet leading her straight to her room. The door closed behind her as she moved past the living room and around the corner straight to her room. The fish tank glowed against the wall with the colorful floral and array of fish swimming around gracefully. But no matter how graceful the room was, Roxanne’s mind was chaotic and confused. She reached up to brush her hand over her hair as she felt the chill on her skin as she reached over to strip off her jacket only to feel Garrus’ hand against her shoulders.

 

“Let’s get you out of these wet clothes.” He said softly, pulling the jacket off as she allowed her feet to finally stop and her body slouched against his touch. Once the jacket was off she reached into the holster on her hip and tossed her pistol onto the bed. “Roxie, talk to me.” His voice cause Roxanne to glance over at him but no words came yet. Instead she took the hem of her shirt and pulled it over her body tossing it aside.

 

However, Garrus’ hands reached for her hips, spinning her around and looking down at her. [b]”Shepard,”[/b] He whispered as his claw brushed some strands of her hair behind her ear. [b]”You can fool everyone else, but I’m more perceptive than you give me credit.”[/b] He said as a smile crossed over his lips.

 

But Roxanne wasn’t smiling, all she could see was part of her faults. The scars on the left side of his face. Her fingers reached up to brush along them as she'd blamed herself time and time again for not watching his back properly. And then just a few months ago, during their fight with the Reapers when they were wounded, both he and Tali. She should have been watching out for them as a Commander is suppose to. They were harmed because of her and she could not allow that to happen again.

 

”Garrus, whatever is going on I’m going to deal with it, I promise.” She said, as she leaned up to kiss him but he pulled back slightly and shook his head.

 

“Oh no, you won’t distract me with your kisses no matter how much I love them.” He said with a smirk on his face as she shook her head. She pulled back and moved her finger over her pants, unbuttoning them as well as taking off her boots. She didn’t quite know how to put her words at the moment but she still couldn’t tell him what was going on.

 

He would never forgive her for the failure she was and for hurting people. “Garrus, I can’t lose you, so whatever this is I can deal with it. Solo mission, that’s all.” She said, as she moved toward the bathroom.

 

“Your kidding, right? You need someone to watch your back.” Garrus adamantly spoke as she reached in to grab a towel and starting rubbing it through her hair.

 

“No, I’m not. This is something I have to deal with on my own.” Roxanne demanded, as she turned her green eyes toward Garrus and held the sharp gaze. “I will not need any help, I can do this.”

 

“And I’m telling you, I’m not letting you do this by yourself. We made a promise, remember? I would be there through thick and thin. The reapers was the one exception and even then I shouldn’t have listened to your order.” Garrus said, the annoyance on the tip of his words. But Roxanne tossed the towel into the bathroom and stood there with her hands in a fist.

 

“No. I’m a Spectre, the Commander of the Normandy still, and that is an order. Stand down and let me do this on my own.” Her voice demanded the words but Garrus just narrowed his eyes and shook his head.

 

“Roxanne Shepard, what the hell has gotten into you? You’ve always accepted my help and you have always helped me, so what in the world is going on?” Garrus stubbornly held the gaze as Roxanne threw her hands up and growled as she turned her back on him. 

 

“YOU'RE NOT GOING!” She yelled as she turned around and pointed her finger at him. “I’ve nearly lost you twice because of my inability to have your back. I’ve lost Thane, Mordin, Kaidan, Anderson. So many innocents have died, so many people because I couldn’t do my job. I couldn't’ save them all! How much blood do I have on my hands because I failed as a Commander? I’m not going to lose you too.” Her voice shook at the end of her words as she raced into the bathroom and hit the panel to slammed the door. 

 

With her self-esteem shot as she nearly lost him again, she just slowly slipped down onto the ground and ran her fingers through her hair. A simple date turned into nearly more deaths on her hands. Quick thinking and action, that’s what saved them but what if she didn’t? Roxanne felt the tears running down her face as she sat there in the silence. 

 

Tap tap. Roxanne noticed them, knowing that Garrus was standing right outside her door and waiting patiently. She wished he would, she wished she had pissed him off enough to make him leave. But he had never left her, not even when she was angry. Her arms curled around her legs as she put her head down into her lap.

 

“Roxie, let me in please.” His voice pleaded now as Roxanne didn’t want to show her moment of weakness even to him. Commander Shepard, savior of the citadel, N7 alliance commander, first human spectre, defender of earth, conqueror of the reapers, and failure to save those who deserved it. None of those titles meant anything when she remembered all those she had failed. She always pressed upon others that it was never their fault for the death of others, that it was inevitable most of the time. But Roxanne could not help but feel at fault for the same thing.

 

Her fingers slipped up to tap the panel as the door as it opened up. Garrus’ arms wrapped around her as she leaned against him and shook her head. “I can’t lose you, I can’t have any more blood on my hands. I need to do this alone. If I lose you, I lose everything.” She whispered as she leaned into Garrus’ chest and he just held her.

 

“I signed up with you not because this was easy but because I trusted you Roxie. I am willing to give my life for you, and now that we are, well, this. I’m even more determined to protect you no matter the cost. But this just isn’t about me, it's you. I left you alone too many times and you died because of it. I lost you once, and then I nearly lost you to the reapers, and Leviathan, and all those other times. You’ve had too many close calls. I refuse to let you do this alone.” He reached over to lift her chin as he gazed up at him and felt his claws wipe away her tears.

 

“There is no Shepard without Vakarian, remember?” Roxanne felt her tightness against her chest as she nodded.

 

“Then we are going to do this together. If we stick it out, neither one of us will be lost because we have each others back. No matter what.” Garrus’ voice soothe her worries except for the fear that she had that she could fail him. But she couldn’t tell him no now because he was right. A part of her vowed to protect him even if it cost her own death. She would not let someone take him from her no matter what happened.

 

“Garrus, I can’t explain what is going on, but you have to trust me, okay?” Roxanne whispered as she stared at him.

 

“I’ve trust you. I won’t ask but you know that I’m here when you are ready.” He held a sly grin as she raised a brow. “But I’m ready to go kick some ass.” Roxanne paused for a moment before she found herself laughing without even a real reason. She reached up, her fingers gliding against his smooth skin, her other hand tracing along his scars before getting up on her knees and pressing her lips firmly against his. She loved to feel his claws moving against her skin as she held it for a moment before she broke the kiss.

 

“I love you.” She whispered as their foreheads touched.

 

“I love you too Roxanne Shepard.” He lulled against her ear as he held her with a comfortable grasp, that hold that she knew no one could break. 

 

“Now, we have a lot to do and a limited time period to do it.” She said, as ran her hands over her eyes, rubbing away what little tears there were left as she stood up. She reached over for her omni-tool and paused to glance over her shoulder. “Garrus? Are you staring again?” She questioned as Garrus blinked looking to Roxanne.

 

“Well, it's kind of hard when you got that sway in your hips  and have you seen your legs?” He questioned as Roxanne laughed. She didn’t know how but she suddenly felt her worry and anxiety slipping away just with Garrus being around.

 

“Do I need to go get dress?” She questioned and Garrus coughed, placing his hand against his lips and she smirked.

 

“Well, I would be saddened to lose the view.” He added with a soft chuckled on his lips and Roxanne sat down on the bed. She allowed her fingers to move swiftly over the virtual plane before she heard the voice.

 

“Yes Commander?” EDI spoke up and Roxanne patted the side of the bed as Garrus came over to sit down.

 

“I need you to find someone for me. His name is Finch Machovich.” She said, as she glanced over at Garrus who wasn’t speaking but she could tell by how he shifted he was listening and gathering intel.

 

“I’m sorry Commander, but all channels and networks do not have any word on him.” Roxanne’s teeth grinded together as she growled slightly.

 

“Dammit.” She muttered, as she pushed her finger against her lips, rubbing her bottom lip. She thought for a moment in silence, before an idea popped into her mind. “Look up Kyna O'Brien.” She said randomly, waiting patiently.

 

“Kyna O’Brian, Born January 4, 2151, currently residing in Dublin, Ireland and running Sherwood Florist--”

 

“Yes, that’s the one. Where can that shop be located EDI?” Roxanne ask, the rise in her voice happy to know that she was still alive and well. Her memory of Kyna was a close friend, one of the few to leave the gang she once belonged to. In fact, Kyna was the only one to break free with Roxanne had as well. Kyna could be the only one she could trust in this situation to know what was going on with the gang. EVeryone else, including Finch, was a trust by situation. For now, her mind was limited in who she could go to.

 

“She worked at 804 Waller Block. Would you like me to get you transport?” EDI questioned as she looked over to Garrus.

 

“Set it up for tomorrow.” Roxanne spoke as she closed to Omni tool and threw it down to the ground. A glint appear in Roxanne’s green eyes as she stared at Garrus with a smirk on her lips.

 

“Shepard, I know that look.” Garrus said as he grinned and reached over to touch her cheek. His mandibles shifted as he watched her.

 

“Good, because we have the rest of the day for us before we get sucked into more craziness.” Roxanne shifted to get on her hands and knees and leaned up to kiss his lips firmly. “Just like old times, right?”

 

“Roxie, it hasn’t even been a year. That’s not old times yet.” Garrus spoke and Roxanne just laughed against her silvery tone.

 

“Shh, enjoy the moment.” She said, as she felt Garrus put his arms around her and shifted to pull her underneath him. He carefully laid her down on her back and a look in his eye as well.

 

“Oh, I will.”


	5. Chapter 5

Screams.

 

Roxanne shifted around as she gazed at the darkness around her. “Where are you? I can help you!” She yelled, as she went running but with no specific location. A screech rang through her ears as Roxanne skidded to a halt, falling against the ground around her. The screams didn’t stop though, they just started to drown out her ears along with the screech.

 

No no no. The reapers were dead! She remember destroying them, yet the echo in her ear didn’t stop. She failed! Everyone was dying. As she blinked her eyes she saw a flash of her friends limp on the ground. Their lifeless eyes stared at her as they didn’t move. Tali, Samara, Thane, Garrus, Ashley, all of them. Roxanne’s mouth hung open as she fell down onto her knees.

 

The warmth of liquid moved against her legs as she looked down at her hands. The crimson color of red coated her hands like paint as her eyes widen. There was so much, everywhere. It seemed endless as it flooded around the pile of people she stared at.

 

“No, this can’t be happening.”

 

“You have failed. You will always fail. In the end, you all fail.” The echo of the reaper’s voice flooded Roxanne’s mind. 

 

“You did this!” Roxanne yelled as tears streamed from her eyes, staring at all of her comrades and friends lifeless and not moving. Her hands reached for her weapon as she pointed it toward the glowing red point. “The least I can do is finish this! This will only end when I’m dead!” She yelled at the glowing red lights all around--

 

“Roxanne! Shepard!” The voice caught her off guard. Her eyes blinked a few times as she realized she hadn’t been lying down in bed anymore. The last thing she remembered was curling up beside Garrus and feeling exhausted in all the right ways. Her eyes caught the pistol in her hand as she dropped it to the ground.

 

“Garrus,” She whispered as she reached up and rubbed her forehead. Sweat covered her face as she stared at her hands. Even though her dream vividly showed her hands covered in blood, it was no longer there. But she still felt the warmth as if it was there. “I’m fine, I just need a shower.” She said as she moved away from the room and into the bathroom.

 

The look on Garrus’ face left her shocked. He looked fearful and yet determined. She knew he wouldn’t just let himself get shot by her but the idea she held a gun up against him. Yet another thing to worry about. She knew it was getting worse but she refuse to accept the help. She wanted no one else burden by the guilt she felt. 

 

She tapped on the panel a few times as the water turned on, immediately steaming up the room as she ripped off the teddy she wore without even caring if it was damaged in the process. The water hit her body as a soft ah escaped her lips. But instead of washing up all she did was stand there.

 

The water current ran against her scalp as she brushed her fingers through her hair and untangling it the best she could. She took her time washing her hair, lathering up the shampoo scent as she was determined to try and wash away the fear and low self-esteem that covered her thoughts. It didn’t take long to get done with her shower as the water turned off and she climbed out with the towel wrapped around her body. She took a second one as she wrapped it through her hair. 

 

Slipping out of the shower, she saw Garrus sitting in bed while reading a book. His eyes turned up immediately toward her as concern laced through them. “Roxie, you had me worried.” The urgency on his words made her moved over toward him and she touched his face and pecked his lips. 

 

“Bad nightmare.” She whispered against his lips and he raised a brow. 

 

“That was a little more than a bad nightmare. Really, Roxie, what’s wrong?” He asked, as he pulled her into his lap. She sat there and glanced toward him. Roxanne sat there for a moment in silence. She thought maybe she might have avoided telling him the full extent of her thoughts, but there was no getting around it. 

 

“Garrus, I told you yesterday that I fear to lose you. Its, its not just that. Everything I do, so much has been lost. Will I ever be worthy of everything people see in me. All these titles, all these medals and awards. Are they even worth it? They always seem to give me medals when I have lost so many lives. I don’t want to be awarded for the deaths I have witness and even caused. I had to decide who to sacrifice, each and every time.” She paused in her thoughts as she leaned against his chest. Her eyes closed as she shook her head. “Seran made me decide between two of my closest friends. I sacrificed him, it should have been me. And then the collectors, all those colonies. Yeah, we were working with Cerberus but what if, what if I hadn’t been? Maybe I could have saved more people. They were all about the ends justify the means but I can’t handle the idea that they purposely sacrificed colonies just so we can learn more about them. And then the reapers came, and I left earth. I left it. Yeah, I gather others together but I left so many innocent people, people I could have saved. Men, women, children.”

 

Her hand reached up and brushed over her forehead as she shook her head. “I’m not a hero.” She whispered as Garrus turned her face toward him and stared her in the eye.

 

“Listen to me. You have always done your best for everyone around you. You’ve given your life, quite literally, to help everyone around you. The decisions you’ve been given never were black and white. They were always the worse. And you had to choose between the two, which was best. You have always held yourself to pick the best option you had at the time. You are a hero, the one the world needed when we needed you.” Garrus spoke with such a passion that Roxanne couldn’t look away from him. “You saved so many people and you saved me. You showed me that you can always do the right thing even in the worse of situations. Roxanne, don’t doubt yourself. You use sound judgment and moral decisions when others would give up so easily. I know you have it in you, you always have.”

 

A deep breath ran through Roxanne’s lips, as she gazed toward Garrus. She believed him, but she still doubted that she was this hero now that her past was here. But she would bury it for now. There were deeper things to worry about then ‘Am I a hero?’ questions.

 

“Alright.” she said and stood up. “Okay, you ready to do this thing?” She asked as she dropped the towel and slipped through the dresser. When she didn’t receive an answer, she glanced over to Garrus who was promptly staring at her. 

 

“Garrrrus?” She said, as he blinked and looked over to her.

 

“Oh, yes, I’m ready to go.” Roxanne immediately started laugh as she pulled her undergarments on then throwing on a shirt and jeans. Her fingers secured a holster around her arms, a pistol on both sides before throwing on a jacket as well. Winter was on the air and she had no plans to get herself sick in this weather. 

 

Roxanne’s fingers laid upon the weapon  as she climbed into the hover car. Garrus climbed in the other side as she set the directions and the blast from the engine came to live from behind. She steered the vehicle in silence, though at times she would glance over at Garrus. A silent reminder that she wasn’t in this alone. But part of her, she knew she would have to do it alone in the end. She couldn’t risk his life no matter how much he claimed he wouldn’t let her do this alone. She wanted him alive, to carry on.

 

Once they had arrived, she lowered the vehicle down and turned it off. “I’m not sure what we will encounter Garrus.” Roxanne said as she looked over to Garrus. 

 

“I’m always prepared Shepard. You should know this.” He said, as he patted her leg. “Come on, let’s find the information we need.” Roxanne nodded, as she climbed out of the vehicle and headed toward the shop. The fragrance of the flowers filled her nose of all kinds. Some sweet, others filed with sharp spices. This wasn’t the Kyna she remembered. Kyna gladly destroyed, she was a pyromaniac and yet here she was growing flowers as if they were children.

 

It all felt odd. “Can I help you?” A voice emerged from the back as Roxanne laid her eyes upon Kyna. She looked much older now, the blue spiked hair now replaced with blond locks that flowed down her back. But it was Kyna, there was no doubt about it because of the tattoo she saw on her neck. 

 

“Kyna?” Roxanne spoke in shocked as she rested her hands on the counter.

 

“Yes? Do I know you?” She questioned but Roxanne could tell that Kyna was experiencing the same thoughts as she was.

 

“Its Roxanne, Roxanne Shepard.” Roxanne finally spoke, still finding it hard to see her old friend. The two of them had been comrades for many years while in the gang, and it was hard to confront the past one more. They had both split directions and yet, how things always manage to come full circle.

 

“Shep? This has to be a trick, why would you come see me?” Kyna spoke, her eyes widen and a tension in her neck. Just as Roxanne took a step forward Kyna took a step backwards. Her eyes trailed between Roxanne and Garrus, as if this whole thing was a joke. Roxanne reached forward toward her hand but Kyna took several steps backwards.

 

“Look, whatever happened, I’ve said nothing. Nothing at all. Please, I’ve heard what’s been going on, just spare me.” Kyna pleaded. Roxanne looked over to Garrus as the both looked confused.

 

“Kyna? We aren’t going to do anything, we just had some questions.” Garrus spoke up toward her, as Kyna glanced between the two. “How about you talk with her alone Shepard? She might respond better.” Garrus said, as he took a step out the door, allowing the bell to ding softly and the two were left alone.

 

Roxanne wasn’t even sure where to began, but it was obvious her old title was striking fear into people like she’s never seen before. “Kyna, I’m no longer the Angel of Darkness. I left that title behind the moment we left the gang. Please, tell me what is going on.” Kyna looked around as if looking for extra ears.

 

“Come, we need to speak in a more private area. Where I know no one can hear.” Kyna said, as she placed her hand on the panel. IT glowed red for a moment before the VI spoke up and allowed her access. Roxanne moved around the counter, slipping into the room as the door shut. Several lights sparked to life as she moved over to the table and the chair. “Give the VI a minute to initiate protocol.” Kyna said, as it took a moment before a ding echoed in the room. “There.”

 

Roxanne glanced around and raised a brow. “This is an odd place for a flower shop.” She said slightly judgmental but more confused.

 

“I have this in case someone from the gang decides to show up and cause trouble. It's defensible and allows me access to call for help. I prefer not to fight any more.” Kyna said with a smile. “Not that I can’t but, well, if I do we know how old habits die hard.”

 

If it was any other day, Roxanne may have been laughing. But with the situation on edge, Roxanne couldn’t even think about silly antics right now. Instead, she leaned forward, her arms resting on the table. “I understand. But I have some questions. Why did you think I was the Angel? What is going on with the gang?” Straight to the point. Roxanne wasn’t playing games, she needed answers and she needed them now.

 

“Look, I don’t think it was you but the gang, they’ve nearly taken over half of Dublin streets and underground world. All the gangs answer to this Angel of Darkness. If I didn’t react as if I knew, they would come after me.” Roxanne raised a brow, as she leaned back and her arms crossed over her chest. Kyna took a deep breath and leaned forward. “This has been going on for years now, even during the invasion of the reapers. With their attention elsewhere, the gangs acted like nothing was going on. They took the moment to take control. Now the Angel is the top ‘dog’ around here.” Roxanne thought about this, as it reminded her a little bit of Omega. But she refused to allow a gang to take our, specially here of all places. 

 

“Seems like I’ll just have to stop that, won’t I?” Roxanne said, as Kyna shook her head.

 

“It's not that easy. No one even knows where the Angel is located. She’s always moving, changing. And will all the gangs under her thumb, she’s practically got an army.” Somehow, that statement made Roxanne smile. She gave a small shrug and glanced to Kyna.

 

“I took down the reapers Kyna. I have my own little army I can take up against them. We’ll put an end to this.”

 

Kyna didn’t look convinced, but she gave a small nod. “I wish I had more information but I don’t. Just, don’t underestimate the Angel. She’s ruthless, and she’s really turned her name into something that people fear. You made it respectable, but now, now they are out or blood. They aren’t some second rate gang anymore, they are the mafia. IT's a kill or be killed game now.” The lights flashed inside the room as Shepard glanced around. Out of nowhere, the lights exploded as Shepard jumped over the table, diving at Kyna and pulling her underneath the table.

 

“THEY KNOW!” Kyna yelled as she looked to Shepard.

 

“Let them know, can you get us out of this room?” Kyna shook her head, as she saw the panel flashing red from the inside. 

 

“There’s no way. the only means to open up the connection can only be made from the outside.” Roxanne immediately started up her Omni-tool, trying to establish a connection with Garrus. At the same time, a click and whoosh of sound came from the vents above. Roxanne looked up to see a small billow of cloudy smoke coming into the room.

 

“Damn, these people really like using fire.” She hissed, and glanced to Kyna. “Your the fire expert, you know what to do. Give me a minute while I establish a connection.” She told KYna while her fingers worked to try and get ahold of Garrus. At the same time, she could hear the slam of something from the outside. “GARRUS?” She said, but she glanced to Kyna who shook her head.

 

“Its soundproof. No one can hear you.” Kyna said, as she got up and moved over to the panel, her fingers scrambling against the flashing red but a loud blaring noise echoed inside. Shepard reached around her shirt, pulling it over her nose as she tried to muffle out the smoke and stop her coughing. Kyna had done well to ensure that no one could hack in or out but that also left them with little ability to escape this situation.

 

“How many times have you been told, Shepard? How many times?” The echoing voice of a man came over her Omni-tool as a picture came up.

 

“Finch.” Roxanne said as she glared her eyes at him. “Again with this not in person shit?” She growled only to lead into a cough. The smirk she saw on his face left a bitter taste on her tongue.

 

“Angel wants me to give you a message. Make a choice. You can sit here and try and save Pyro or you can go to the direct source.” Finch spoke with a poison on his tongue, tempting her. Roxanne glanced to Kyna and shook her head. 

 

“I’m not going to let her die!” She yelled at him, knowing that she was missing a valuable chance here. They kept tempting her, teasing her with her desire to always save another soul. How many times would they do this before it happened? Before she finally lost someone? No, she would fight. She would try and find the source of this message, but after she got them out of this situation. “Come on Kyna.” Shepard said, as she pushed off the ground, taking the chair on top of the desk and slammed at the panel above. After a few attempts to break the panel, she got annoyed and took her pistol from inside her outfit and shot at it a few times. “Open. Up. Now!” Shepard hissed as she hit the panel with the back of the pistol and a snap finally cracked. 

 

The smoke started to cause her eyes to burn, as she reached down to Kyna, helping her up as she climbed into the top of the building first and helped Kyna behind her. “Keep close.” She said, a cough on her lips as she moved through the panels. She could hear the creaking of the metal and took a right, before she stopped. The metal was getting hot as she shifted backwards. “They set the place on fire.” She whispered, as she looked to Kyna.

 

“How do we get out of here?” Shepard spoke with urgency as Kyna pointed backwards. “If we head toward the back, there should be another room. That should lead us to the emergency exit.”  Roxanne waved her hand letting Kyna take the lead.

 

There was little that could be done by her hand at the moment. But part of her was getting tired already of this game of cat and mouse. They were toying with her, messing with her pride and she was getting sick of it. After taking several twist and turns following Kyna, she pointed at the panel that needed to be broken. With a bit of focus, Roxanne allowed the sharp power of her biotics to blast through the panel this time, ignoring the damage that might be caused. She jumped out, as Kyna landed beside her. 

 

Roxanne waved her hand toward the outside as Kyna didn’t need a second suggestion. However, Roxanne moved back inside, looking at the burning plants and the smoke billowing up. “Where is that lead!” She growled, as she pulled her shirt over her face and felt the heat as it was nearly unbearable. She pulled up a barrier around her, hoping it would last. 

 

“Finch, you bitch.” Roxanne yelled as she put her arms up as some of the pillars came crashing down. She couldn’t get far as she raced back out, her feet taking her out just before the building suddenly blew up as the fire reached the electrical outlets. The explosion threw Roxanne a few feet before she landed on her back. The air was knocked out of her as she gasp, staring at the sky. It took a moment for her to come to terms with what just happened as she coughed a few times and finally gathered her senses. Her arm reached around her side as her back felt the pain of the impact and she shifted to her side.

 

“Roxie!”

“Shepard!”

 

The two voices rang against her ear, knowing it was Kyna and Garrus as the moved to either side of her. 

 

“I’m fine, really.” She waved her hand, as she got on her hands and knees before forcing herself up to her feet. “Kyna, I’m sorry about your shop.” Roxanne said, as she glanced over to her friend. But a smile was on her face as she gave a small shrug.

 

“Insurance is a blessing. Better than losing my life. Thank you Shep.” She said, and nodded toward Garrus as well. Roxanne glanced at her, though, wondering if they would return. “You should find somewhere to lay low. Maybe leave Ireland for a little bit?” Roxanne suggested as she saw the woman cross her arms and thinking about it.

 

“You know, I have been meaning to visit my parents in London. They survived the reaper attack, better chance than any.” Kyna said, as she turned toward the sounds of the sirens. “They’ll want a report, but once I’m done I’ll be leaving. Thank you Shep, and watch your back. No one can be trusted.” She said, glancing to Garrus before leaving their side.

 

Roxanne looked over at Garrus who held concern in his eyes. “What happened?” Roxanne shook her head as she glanced back toward the building.

 

“Games.” She whispered, as she reached over and touched his arm. “Come on, let's get back home. I couldn’t get anything I needed. Maybe EDI can help us though. I’ll explain more back at the apartment.” Roxanne spoke as Garrus reached over and held her hand. She paused for a moment, glancing down at the single act of reassurance and smiled. It was enough, though she could tell Garrus was truly bothered. 

 

Once again they had been separated and she had to find a way out on her own. To her, she wasn’t bothered by this but she could see the anger on Garrus’ eyes. Not because of her, but because he left her alone. He could easily escape the fire but she had been stuck inside. She squeezed his hand and moved back toward the car. She went to the driver side, but Garrus pulled her into a hug and smiled. 

 

“Oh no Roxie, I’m driving. You relax.” He said, as he swept her off her feet and she gasp.

 

“Garrus, what do you think you're doing?”

 

“Pissing you off?” He said, but he had a small laugh on the edge of his tongue as Roxanne cross her arms and glared at him.

 

“Yes, yes you are.” She said, squirming to get out of his arms.

 

“Oh, come on. Give your boyfriend this one chance to spoil you.” HE asked as Roxanne stared at him for a moment and shook her head.

 

“Fine.” She said, as she shook her finger at him. “You get to do this one last time. Your first giveaway was back on the citadel. This is your second and only chance. I can walk just fine you now.” She felt the ache of her back though after hitting the ground so hard and she wouldn’t admit that this was kind of nice. Even her leg hurt a bit, the phantom pains there as she ignored them. Garrus easily carried her over to the car, setting her down and then climbed into the driver side and went off.

 

While she sat there, she pondered for a moment. The Ten Street Reds were dangerous, more so than when she was a member. The past would never leave her alone, and she knew that Garrus wouldn’t leave her alone. At that moment, she decided that she would sneak out that night and handle things on her own. This was twice, twice Garrus had been in harm. She knew he could handle herself, but he had been scarred up twice because of her. 

 

She didn’t want to have him harmed again because of a situation she was involved in. And he couldn’t know the past, he couldn’t know the devastation she had wrought upon Dublin when she was no better than a common thug, like one of the Blue Suns they now fought against. 

 

He would never see her the same way. She was no hero, and today had just reminded her about that.


	6. Chapter 6

Roxanne sat down on the couch in the apartment as she started to work at her Omni-tool. “EDI, Finch hacked my omni-tool. Can you see if you can pinpoint any locations these hackings took place?” She questions as the voice of EDI echoed into the room. 

 

“Immediately Commander. Give me a few seconds.” The smooth voice of the AI answered back as Shepard pulled off her jacket. She looked over to Garrus and smiled as he sat down, leaning up against him as he put his arm around her. They waited in silence before EDI spoke again. “Found them Commander.”   
  


“Them?” She said confused.

 

“There are several locations that the signal came from. It's probably a jamming sequence set up in case we tried to hack it back to the trace source.” EDI spoke as Roxanne shifted the tool.

 

“Pull them up on a map.” She said, as five locations started to blink. Five blue dots as she glanced them over. Her eyes widen slightly, as her finger hovered over each one. Each location was significant to her which made the situation even worse. “Thank you EDI.”

 

“So what’s the plan?” Garrus asked as Roxanne looked over the locations.

 

“We pick a location and move from there. They are going to keep killing unless we stop them.” She said, her eyes narrowed toward the map as she turned it off and cross her arms with her eyes closed. She focused for a moment, thinking about each location.

 

The first one was an underground fighting ring. Bets were placed and most of the fighters volunteered but she did remember others that were blackmailed or forced into the fights. It was a deadly ring, and deaths happened often. It was one of Finch’s favorite places to go when they hung out.

 

The second was a club called Fantasia. It was known to handle heavy narcotics and drugs, and a big hangout for the top gang leaders. She thought it might be a good place to go to Find Angel, but she knew that it was too typical and she doubted she leave herself wide open with everything she was doing.

 

The third was her first hit. It pained her to remember that memory. Nothing really big, it was a bank heist which proved to be successful. IT was the first one she did with Finch and Kyna at her side along with a few others. She lead the group and they gained quite a bit of money for the gang. Its how she made her mark.

 

The fourth was how she got her codename, the Angel of Darkness. IT didn’t seem like anything important, it was in an alleyway and there was no pride now in what she did. She had killed several over gang members in the dead of night without even flinching. That memory made her close her eyes briefly and she shook her head as she looked at the last location.

 

The pier. Dublin Bay, just twenty minutes from where they were now. They blew up that pier, making a name for the gang on TV. It was successful but trival. But it reminded her that she was no better than anyone else. She had tried to ensure there was no one on the pier, but when the news report came in, five people had died because of it. That broke her slightly while in the gang, and started her on the path to leaving.

 

All these locations. Each one of prime significance. She had no idea why they would be like this, as she moved her fingers along her lips. “I have to think on this.” She said, as Garrus glanced over at her.

 

Roxanne felt the determination flowing through her blood, ready to ensure the safety of everyone she knew. But there was also her secret. “Garrus, I need some time alone. I just have a lot to think about.” She said, gazing up at him. HEr hand reached out and touched his face. She smiled toward him and kissed his lips before getting up. “I’m going to go for a walk.”

“Would you like me to cook you dinner? Not that I could eat it but hey, practice makes perfect.” Garrus said with a grin and Roxanne waved her hand.

 

“I might be out for awhile. I’m not really hungry either. I just have a lot to think on. I’ll see you later tonight.” She said and got up, grabbing her jacket and heading toward the door.

 

“Roxie,” Garrus whispered as he stood up and took her hand. “I love you, remember that. No matter what comes our way.” He said, as he kissed her forehead and moved back toward the living room to grab the controls. Her eyes laid upon him, filing those words into the secret compartment of her heart. She just gazed at him as if memorizing every twist of the crown on his head and the way he looked at peace sitting there. She took a deep breath and walked out of the room, heading nowhere in particular. 

 

She placed a clip in her ear and clicked it. “EDI?” She spoke as she walked, with her hands in her jacket.

 

“Yes Commander?” The soothing voice of EDI echoed in her ear as she walked down the street, the sun already setting in the distance.

 

“How much do you know?” She finally questioned. Roxanne felt a knot in her throat at just asking this question but of everyone who could know something, it would be EDI. EDI or Liara, which only cause a bit of pain in her chest. Liara was one of her closest friends and to think she saw the darkness of her past cause her to hold a bit of fear.

 

“I know what I can find Commander.” EDI said, and Roxanne spoke up quickly.

 

“That’s not what I mean EDI, and I think you know that.” She said softly, as she glanced forward to see people moving to and fro around the area but paying her no attention. The ache in her back was slowly easing away as she waited in silence till EDI answered.

 

“I know about the Tenth Street Reds and your involvement. You were once one of the leaders of the gang underneath The Crimson Snake, handling weapon affairs and exchanges. You were also known as the Angel of Darkness, because anyone who tried to break the trust of the gang would find you ending their life. You gain your name because you did things in the dead of night, but your kills were merciful. You didn’t torture or enjoy the kills, you were a, what is it stated, a grim reaper? Taking a life because it was your job.” The words cut into her soul as she came to a stop in her walk.

 

“So you know,” She whispered softly, closing her eyes 

 

“Yes I do. Commander Shepard, why do you sound disappointed?” EDI questioned, confusion on the edge of her voice as Roxanne leaned against the wall, glancing around her before speaking.

 

“Because how can I be what I am with a past like that? Do you understand what I mean EDI? There’s no way I can be a hero. Look at that history, everything you read and know. I’m a fake.” She whispered, putting her feet back to work and starting to walk again. It was the one thing she could do to keep herself distracted.

 

“Shepard, you have done many things to change your life. It states that you joined the alliance in in 2172. That means you left the gang within a reasoning time. Classified documents state that you were pardon of all charges due to your willingness to comply with the authorities and all information was blacked out. In 2176 you proved your loyalty to the alliance by defending those in the Skyllian Blitz. You were rewarded with the Star of Terra and at that point you were  regarded as an Alliance hero at that point. You continued on to do great feats. Shepard, you once told me that you're who you are is who you define it to be. Have you not do that? Changed who you are?" Roxanne glanced to her side though she realized EDI was not there. It took awhile to remember that EDI had lost her body during the defeat of the reapers, and it took two weeks for Liara to comply her coding and integrated frames to bring her back online. 

 

“But it's still my past. People know me because I’m this alliance hero, this galaxy’s hero now. But I was still a petty criminal. Nothing can change that. I can’t tarnish anyone else with my past.” Roxanne said, determined to protect people.

 

“Commander, they ca--”

 

“EDI, please. Do not tell anyone anyone about this. I’m trusting you with this information.” Roxanne pleaded as she glanced toward the city of Dublin. “I have something to do.”

 

“Shepard, what are you doing?” Roxanne reached into her ear and took out the chip and dropped it in the fountain. She saw the sparks as the chip was destroyed, leaving her connection to EDI disrupted. AT the same time, she picked it up and then placed it under her boot to completely destroy it before glancing from side to side.

 

She glanced at the omni tool she had, knowing that anyone could track her with this as well. Gritting her teeth, she dropped it onto the ground and smashed it as well, picking up both items and tossing them into the fountain. “I’m sorry everyone, but I must do this on my own.” She whispered, more to herself than anyone near her as she was alone. She then turned, pulling up the collar of her jacket and moved toward a dark alley where her body disappeared.


	7. Chapter 7

Roxanne shifted through the crowds, hearing the shouts and yells. People in the underground world were like they always were; rude, pushy, and brash. She was use to such things, though the moment someone decided to whistle at her she twisted around with a smirk on her lips. She reached over, taking the man’s wrist, shoving them straight into her punch. Afterward she twirled around him so his arm pressed against his back and with her heels pressed into his back shoved him against the ground.

 

“I’m not your callgirl. Think next time before whistling.”[/b] The calm voice broke as people instantly started to give her distance. It was odd not having a pair of companions at her side, but it was a comfort to know they would not get in the middle of this. Her fingers slipped into the leather jacket she wore along with the black dress on her body. 

 

She slipped into a bar where she moved over to the counter, ordering herself a shot as she sat there in silence. After a few minutes she saw someone shift over to sit by her, ordering himself a beer.

 

“Terra?” The man spoke with a husky australian accent and Roxanne nodded.

 

“Brooke?” She returned the question as she down the shot and twisted toward him. The man grinned as he turned, drinking some of his beer and giving Roxanne an up and down look. “Look, the last person who did that wound up with a face imprint on the floor. Let’s not have a repeat.” She said, and pulled out a card.

 

“Twenty thousand credits, easily. As long as you have what I want.” Roxanne added, as she saw him reaching for the card but she pulled it back.

 

“Here, everything you need. Enjoy the fights, they are one hell of a time.” He said, passing the panel toward her and she gave him the card in exchange. Her fingers slipped over the board, glancing at the ticket to the rings, along with all the information and fake identification she needed. She took a breath, glad to be a Spectre as she placed the card panel within the inside pocket of her jacket. She picked up her feet and quickly lead herself away from the bar.

 

The underground city astounded her, as she didn’t remember nearly this much activity before. What use to be a poor excuse for a town now had dozens of buildings and illegal businesses. She saw the dealings with red sands to her left and a strip joke just to her right. Everything that society frowned upon she swore could be located down here.

 

There was no pause in her movements, as she found her lead toward the Neon Ring. The line moved swiftly as she stepped into it, moving downward toward the door. The eyes of a Krogan gave her a quick up and down as she passed over the card, and a single click of green as he waved her through. She slipped the card into her pocket, as the sound of music disappeared into the shouts and yells of people cheering on others.

 

Blood and sweat soured her nose as she crinkled in distaste to the smell. She moved through the crowds as she came up toward the ring. She leaned against the railing, taking note the tenn foot space between the crowds and the ring. Two opponents stood inside the ring, a Vorcha and Krogan. Already Roxanne knew the extent of these fighting rings. HEr mind set to the idea of gladiators, something she read up in books. It wasn’t hard to tell as people passed money around but she kept her eyes on the ring. The barrier around it was clear, but she could tell on touch would cause some sort of damage.

 

As if wondering what it was, the Krogan pulled the vorcha up into his arms and walked around shouting. Everyone cheered finished and he threw the creature toward the barrier. He didn’t even stand a chance as it vaporized the creature. He lips pushed together and shook her head. At the same time, the Krogan yelled before moving to a small ring on the ground which lowered him downward. It was a death trap, as she tucked her hands into her pockets.

 

She shifted around as she caught a glint to the side and glanced over toward a man. His black hair rustled on top of his head as he locked eyes with Roxanne. He held a sick smile on his lips as he waved her over. She shifted through the crowds, moving toward the private table that overlooked the fighting rink in the center. 

 

“Finch.” She said, as she saw his hand wave.

 

“Babe, have a seat.” A grin crossed his lips as he leaned back.

 

“Don’t even think about calling me that.” Roxanne hissed as she sat down in the chair, her arms crossed as she stared at him.

 

“Jeez, what am I supposed to call you? Angel no longer applies, and well, I don’t think you're keen to the other names. Wait, you're going by Terra now, aren’t you?” He questioned, as she held a little smirk on her lips.

 

“And? Problem. Does that hit a sore spot?” She asked, as she saw Finch’s lips slowly twist into a frown. “Apparently it does. Look, I want information. Why? You once stood by. I know things didn’t go well at first, but I spared your life. Why are you fighting again? I have done nothing against you.”

 

Finch waved over a waitress who passed him a drink and she put up her finger as well to get herself a drink. “You don’t even speak to me anymore. All those old times, those old days? Remember when we were a perfect team?” Finch said and Roxanne shook her head.

 

“That’s the past, that’s where it belongs. I moved on and I thought you had as well.” She said, as the drink was set in front of her and she took it in her hand. 

 

“I never let it go. You were still my number one babe-”

 

“I said don’t you call me that again.” Roxanne interrupted as she took a sip of her drink.

 

“You were still the perfect partner for me. We were highly trained and perfect leaders. Had each others back and then you just left. Just, poof,” His hand moved from a fist to open palm as she raised a brow.

 

“So you want to kill me because of that?”

 

“No! I want you back! Come on, it’ll be like old times again. You and me, fighting against authority. We’ve nearly taken over Dublin, soon we’ll start getting all the other gangs from across the country under our finger. You could join us, be one of us.” Finch pleaded to Roxanne, as she stared at him for a long while, taking another chug of her drink.

 

“When I said it was over, it was over Finch. There is no more ‘us’. There never was an us. We were partners but you took it farther then I wanted. I was never your babe, never your baby, never your girlfriend. And I won’t be now.” She took her glass and tossed it into his face. The liquid soaked into his hair, as she glared and put her glass down.

 

“Don’t expect to see me again.” She said, as she stood up and felt suddenly lightheaded. Her hand gripped the chair as she stared at him.

 

“What did you do?” She said, as Finch had a devious smile wiping the drink away from his eyes.

 

“Oh, you didn’t know? This ring belongs to Angel now. So everyone here? Yeah, everyone here is a part of the gang, even the waitress. You thought coming in here with a fake name and fake identification would work? Oh no, I was one step ahead of you. I knew what you would do, you're so predicable. The Angel wants to see you.” Finch said as Roxanne growled.

 

“Over my dead body.” She said, as she quickly pulled herself to her feet and made her way through the crowds. But with each step she had she felt the floor starting to spin and becoming even more difficult to walk. The next step she took her body fell forward and she fell on her hands and knees before a random foot jab her in the gut. Pain resided against her stomach as she cringed and went to punch the lingering leg only to find even her strength was sapped.

 

“I took precautions. I knew our biotics needed to be tamed, so the alcohol saps at her energy and strength, and then you obviously do hand to hand, so that’s where the lingering effects attack your head. Don’t worry, you won’t be troubled soon.” Roxanne reached over and grabbed his shirt with what little strength she had and pulled him down.

 

“You couldn’t win in a real fight with me, you never could.” She said with a smirk before she felt the knee hit her face and blackness took over her mind.

 

**\-------------------------------------**

 

The bright light caused Roxanne to flinch and twist her head away. The crushing pain against her forehead as if she had been shocked by an electric rod. She opened her eyes barely as colorful spots covered her eyes, as she felt sick to her stomach. Whatever they had given her still affected her biotics, but that's when she realized it wasn't that, it was something on her wrist.

 

She glanced downward at a band on her wrist, as she tried to force her biotics to disconnected it but instead a shock raced through her body and she gasp. 

 

"Oh, I wouldn't do that." A feminine vile voice broke against her ear as she saw the silhouette of someone in the distance sitting in the chair.

 

"No, really? I thought it was fun." Roxanne spark sarcastically as she shifted in the chair that she  was effectively bound against. She tried to ignore the nauseated feeling in her gut as she tilted her head toward the woman, whoever she was.

 

"You know, your a difficult woman to get an appearance with. Couldn't seem to make a choice could you?" She spoke as Roxanne chuckled.

 

"Oh, choices were easy, you make the appearance difficult. IF you didn't want to kill innocent people--"

 

"They aren't people. They are aliens. Nothing more than brutal lifeforms to use and get rid of." The villainous voice interrupted as Roxanne narrowed her eyes.

 

"They are people, and they have done more then apparently you give them credit."

 

"Like your sweetheart of a Turian?"

 

"Shut up." Roxanne felt her neck tighten as her hands curled into a fist instantly. She could hear the woman laughing in the background as Roxanne suddenly realized she fallen for the little reaction and just growled.

 

“Touchy touchy. Come on dear, he’s nothing more the a plaything. But then there is you, you’ve turned yourself into a biotic toy. Really, how could you do that to yourself? So much for helping humanity. You turned your back on us, all of us. Most of all, you turned your back on the only family you knew. We helped make you who you were.” The shadow of the woman stood up as Roxanne tried to make out who she was but with the light so bright behind her all she could see was the silhouette.

 

“I’m the new Angel of Darkness. The improved version that you could never be. Enjoy your new life here, I’m sure many people will enjoy watching the conqueror of the reapers defend herself in the ring.” 

 

Roxanne shoved herself forward with all the power she had as she yelled at the top of her lungs. “I will find you, and you will pay for what you have done.” The shadow paused as Roxanne ignored the pain in her head or the shock of her cuff.

 

“We’ll see.” She whispered and the light went off, leaving Roxane blinded or a moment by the lost of light. The cuff set a series of electrical shocks through her body as she growled, refusing to shout out in the pain as she handled it until she passed out. 

 

How long she was out, she didn’t know, but when she woke up she found herself in some sort of clear cell. She reached over to the metal bracelet on her wrist, as she went to pull it off but with no avail. 

 

“It's not going to come off.” Roxanne stood up quickly, her feet planted as she looked toward the face of another. “Don’t worry, I’m the least of your worries.” The blue skinned woman spoke as Roxanne calmed down. The asari leaned against the wall as she pointed toward the bracelet.

 

“It nullifies your biotics and any communications you might have implanted. It also has a nice little shocking mechanism as well if we ever get out of control.” Roxanne shifted to sit down on the cot she had as she leaned asint her legs.

 

“So I’ve noticed.” Roxanne muttered as she gave a little nod toward her. “What are you in for?” 

 

“Me? They weren’t to fond of the police trying to shut down their deals on the surface. Got caught in a bad situation and well, here I am. My comrades to the easy way out.” Roxanne raised a brow and she gave a shrug. “They’re all dead. They kept me alive, to show what a show pet I could be.” The hiss on the edge of her tongue was enough for Roxanne to know she was pissed.

 

“Well, bout time we try and shut this program down.” Roxanne said as she crossed her arms, pacing in front of the clear glass. She glanced at the area up and down when she heard the asari speak up again.

 

“Highly doubtful. I’ve tried, time and time gain. No biotics, no allies, nothing. And these cuffs easily trace us and can shock us until we are out cold. You're stuck, might as well get use to it.” Roxanne turned to stare at her and shook her head.

 

“I don’t give up, we’ll find a way, even if it takes months.” Roxane said, as she moved back over and sat down on the cot. “Name’s Shepard.” She said, giving a nod toward the woman.

 

“The Shepard? Well how the hell did you get into this mss?” The Asari questioned with shock on her eyes. Roxanne laughed slightly with a shrug.

 

“Step on the wrong toes. It seems to happen a lot.” She said a smile crossed the asari’s lips. 

 

“Keep doing that. I’m Galia, part of the alien division here on earth. After the attack with the reapers it seems the humans are integrating aliens into their police force. Figured it was worth a try. so much for that.” Roxanne reached over and patted her shoulder.

 

“Hey, don’t give up now. We’ll figure it out and get you back. I promise.” She said as she glanced around once again allowing her mind to memorize each little thing around her. “I’ve been in worse situations than this.” she added as she glanced down toward the bracelet again. She ran her finger along it. If she could just get ahold of EDI she could hack into it and get it off. But communications were not accessible. “Damn Angel.” she muttered and laid back on the bed.

  
“Better get some rest Shepard, tomorrow is a busy day.” She said as she glanced over at Galia. Things weren’t going according to plan at all.


	8. Chapter 8

Roxanne wanted her armor. The whole tank top and blue jeans was not doing it for her. No defensive means in any way. HEr feet slide around in the tight boots that cupped her calves easily as the cheering from the crowd drown out in her ears. She grumbled, as she focused on gathering intel. Apparently the barrier around them shifted from time to time. It only vaporized if it was a to the death game. Otherwise the shield came up. She also found out that it only responded to the bracelets they wore, though anyone dumb enough to try and jump that rift between the platform and the crowds had a swift death below.

For once, she had no idea how she was going to get out of this one. She could always depend upon her comrades to have her back in situations like these. Tali and her skills with technical complications. EDI and her ability to hack through firewalls and gather information with seconds. Then there was Wrex and Grunt who could easily break through any blockade if there was one. But she was on her own, and she realized how insignificant she was. It was as if The Angel was trying to eat away at her own self confidence. She could easily fight and survive, but she felt like a pawn when the rest of her friends were the knights and queens on a chessboard.

Tonight was no different than any other night, her eyes evaluated her opponent as the moved through the bottom portal into the ring. Tonight it was Salarian. Roxanne’s hand shifted through her hair as she glared toward the shadow in the distance. The Angel was watching and it bothered her, but it also encouraged her not to give in. Each round she defeated the opponents, but she never killed. At most she would knock out the people she went up against so they couldn't’ force her to kill them.

At times she was even granted her Biotics but the bracelet dulled her powers, and she found they weren’t powerful enough to break through the shield around the ring. It was one of her plans before it failed and left her trying to figure something else out.

She rushed forward with ease, her fighting style easily used against the agile man. But even as he evaded her jabs, her foot swooped underneath him and knocking him on his back. The cheers just got louder and so she drowned him out. 

“I don’t want to kill you so just give it up.” She demanded as she moved around the Salarian but he didn’t respond, only diving in for his own attack. Roxanne took a hit to her chest, but at that moment weaved around him, her arm curling around his neck and grabbing her forearm, using the strength to ct his air supply just enough so he go unconscious and the she dropped the Salarian where he was.

Screams of kill echoed through the room and she narrowed her eyes toward the crowd. “What, not good enough?” She said, anger boiled on her tongue. “Get your Angel to do the dirty work, I’m killing no one!” She shouted, as she moved back to the small ring where she always entered the arena in. She crossed her arms as it clicked into place and dropped down away from the ring. She had the pattern memorized now. Dropped three levels, and moved to the left and then two rights and she returned to her room.

“God damn crowds.” Roxanne groaned as she dropped onto the cot and Gilia glanced at her.

“Another uneventful fight?” She asked, as she passed over a towel to Roxanne.

“You could say that. They are trying to get me to kill, I’m sure that’s the point but I refuse. Can’t say it's not satisfying to hear their boos.” She said with a smirk, moving it around her neck and patting her face. She knew she could go use the shower but at the moment she didn’t care to do so.

“At some point they are going to make you. Just, Shepard, remember who you are. I’ve seen what these fights do, they kill you from the inside out.” Galia spoke as Roxanne raised a n eyebrow.

“Do tell.” She stated, wondering just how she would now.

Galia stood up, pacing over to one of the walls and placing her arm against it. She glanced outside of it toward the other cells where many other aliens were locked in. “She was my roommate before you got here. A turian in fact. She wasn’t a killer, never meant to be. But well, they like to turn people into killers here. She went from a kind hearted woman to a blood thirsty demon. At some point, all she cared about was the next kill. She died at the hand of a Krogan because they both wanted blood, though she made sure the Krogan died a few seconds after.” Galia shifted as she glanced toward Roxanne.

“I’m sorry Galia. It's never easy seeing a friend die.” Roxanne said, as she stood up and placed moved over to place her hand on her shoulder. “We’ll get out of here, I promise.”

For a moment, Galia just stared at Roxanne. “It's been a week, and no one has shown up. How can you be so sure?” Galia didn’t look convinced but Roxanne had to keep her confidence.

“Because if I give up on hope, then I won’t make it out of here period.” Roxanne held a sure confidence in her words as she pulled the rubber band out of her hair and allowed her hair to cascade down her back. She closed her eyes briefly, before opening them with sure determination on her eyes. “Don’t give up Galia, remember, I’m Commander Shepard.” She said with a smirk and Galia had a soft smile while shaking her head.

Roxanne got up as she heard the ding of the bell. “What?” she said, baffled, as she glanced over at Galia. “This doesn’t make any sense.” Roxanne said as she felt the shock through her bracelet. She shook her head as she resisted against their control to make her fight again. Galia moved over to touch her shoulders as the shock ran through her body and dropped her to her knees as she bit her teeth together so not to bite off her tongue.

“Just go Shepard.” She said, helping her to her feet and toward the door opened to the standing pedestal. Roxanne glanced toward Galia again and shook her head.

“Soon.” Roxanne said as she got on her feet and stood in the tunnel. She reached her hand around her hair, pulling it up into a ponytail while the board shifted through the same way as before. That was a note she tucked away long ago, as it never changed and would be of use at one point. She found herself up in the ring again as the cheers started and she could hear the announcement today.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight will be a fight of superior expertise. A never before seen action between biotics. Blood will be spilt! Place your bets! Do you bet on the Commander who uses mercy, or do you-” The announcer's voice faded off as Shepard looked toward her opponent.

Her eyes widen as she shook her head to see the blue skin asari ascend through the portal on the other side.

“bet on the asari police officer! Two good guys fighting to the death!”

Roxanne stared at Galia as she took a defensive position with her arms up and her legs stabilizing her. “No, Galia, I won’t fight you.” Galia’s eyes held sadness in them but Roxanne could tell something wasn’t right. She wasn’t speaking and she was already ready to fight. With quick speed she tossed a ball of dark energy toward her and Roxanne reached her hand up, placing a barrier up.

“No, I’m not playing this filthy game!” She shouted, as she stared into the distance where Angel usually was. “You hear me! I won’t kill her!” Anger rested on her heart at the idea they would pit her against someone she was determined to get out of here. 

At that moment, Galia shot toward her with her fist flying toward her face. Shepard shifted her arms quickly as one caught her wrist and the other arm pushed against her forehead to knock Galia off balance and knocking her down onto the ground. Roxanne growled, as she moved several feet back staring at her. 

“You need to stop. Galia, get ahold of yourself.” Roxanne pleaded to the asari, her hands curled into fist and keeping on the defensive.

“Can’t…” The woman broke out her voice but grunted and her body twisted around to her hands and feet. Once again the asari started to glow, a black ball of energy emitted from her hand and threw it as Roxanne. She weaved her arms together and put up a barrier once again to stop the effects of the asari’s biotics. The shimmer moved over her body as she shook her head. If she couldn’t, she would have to find a way to stop her.

Galia took the chance and charged toward Roxanne as her palm opened up and hit Roxanne in the face, knocking her off balance. Roxanne stumbled backwards at the impact, her hands moved up to her face as she growled. She brushed her arm over her nose to remove the blood and place her hands into fist. 

With no desire, Roxanne had to move on the offensive. She pushed her feet forward and threw a fist toward her face to try and knock her off balance on for Galia to duck and moved her right arm to jab into her waist. Roxanne grunted as she took the blow, reaching over with her left arm to grab her wrist that hadn’t move and prevented her from moving back. At the same time her right fist came over and punch her directly in the face. 

The stall wasn’t enough as Galia grunted and took her arm over Roxanne’s back, and tossing her down against the ground. Roxanne didn’t let that end her movement, instead she use the momentum to hit the ground, rolling onto her stomach and rolling out of the way as Galia nearly threw a punch against the ground. The sizzle of her biotics cause the impact to rattle the ground as Roxanne tossed her hair backwards, panting from the exertion. The two started to pace around each other, neither throwing a blow yet as Roxanne started to analyze her situation.

Her left side was vulnerable, she was constantly attacking with her right that allowed her a chance opening. Distraction and then attack. Roxanne tapped into her biotics once again, calling up the dark energy as she threw it toward her right arm making Galia jump to the left. That was enough of a second to get her in position to take her down.

Roxanne reached over and grabbed Galia’s left wrist as it came in to try and punch her once again, swinging around her as that she was fully on her left said, pulling at her arm. At the same time Roxanne’s right arm came around and took Galia’s neck and used her feet to knock them out from under her. In one swift motion she threw Galia on her back as the crash against the ground cause Galia’s eyes to roll to the back of her head.

“I won’t kill you.” she told Galia as she stood up and turned to face Angel’s silhouette. “I won’t kill for you!” She growled as the crowd stood in silence. Silence, instantly she knew this was a bad call as she felt the arm around her throat.

Roxanne grabbed at Galia’s arms as the started to cut off the air supply to her body. She moved to line her elbow and jabbed it backwards, as it knocked Galia back off of her. She turned around as she realized that Galia wasn’t even conscience. With nothing else to work with as Roxanne had to take a deep breath and unable to react Galia’s body tackled Roxane to the ground and her hands wrapped around her throat. A swift movement had both of Roxanne’s wrist pin down by Galia’s knees and she was stuck. 

There was one thing Roxanne could do and she didn't want to. At first she struggle against Galia's body as she felt the air not moving into her chest. A rising panic grew against Roxanne's chest as she felt dizzy and instinct took over. Her biotics charged against her hands, two blue orbs and a blast shoving Galia backwards. The shockwave was enough to throw Galia far enough back that she hit the barrier and she screamed before her entire body turned into ash and floated off in the distance.

Cheering filled the crowds as Roxanne sat on her knees, as she ash floated toward her. Her hand reached out and took some of it, staring at it. “Galia,” She whispered, as she closed her eyes, letting the sounds drown out her thoughts. She felt her arm gripped and pulled upward as she was placed back on the panel before it shot downward and sent her back to her room.

Now she was alone a she held a single ash in her hand. Galia didn’t have a choice but she did. And she still managed to kill her. She closed her eyes as she yelled and started to beat her fist against the wall. “YOU KILLED HER, NOT ME! ANGEL, DAMMIT, I’LL KILL YOU!” She shouted even though no one answered. She slowly sunk down onto the ground, as her mind dulled to think on nothing. She had made Galia a promise and now she could never redeem it.

She murdered her to survive. No matter what way it was put, in the end she killed Galia. Roxanne stripped off her clothes and moved over to the shower. She sat down as the water ran over her. She pulled the rubber band out of her hair as she saw the white floor turn red from the water and blood mixing together. Roxanne felt truly alone now as she pulled her knees up to her chest. Tears ran from her emerald eyes as she leaned over and buried her face into her knees. She could no longer handle the attack against her heart. The commander broke from all the promises she made for Galia. No she couldn't keep them and she was stuck trying to figure this out on her own. Sobs came from her as she choked back the emotions she felt before she knew what she had to do.

Survive.

She started to lock back any emotion she had. Everything she could that would turn against her was blocked off. She blinked her eyes several times, before standing up and washing her hair and body of the sweat, blood, and tears. It didn’t matter what happened now, she just had to survive.


	9. Chapter 9

Roxanne couldn’t tell what hour or day it was anymore. Everything was just blending together. Fight. Survive. Sleep. The fighting continued no matter what happened and all she could think of doing was survive. But each kill she made bit at her a little more. Somehow fighting for the alliance gave a bit more padding when it came to her job. But here, it was as if she was simple killing people because they were there. 

Another fight, another hour. or was it two?

When it came to this situation, she was trying to hold strong but after killing Galia, every emotional bone in her body slipped away. To try and protect herself she separated her heart from her mind. But each time she fought for survival, trying not to kill she ended up having to. Roxanne didn’t understand why people suddenly became more vicious in their attacks to the point she had to kill or be killed. All she knew is each one darkened her heart a little bit. Each kill chipping away at her soul.

It further convinced her that she was little more than a tool. What she did didn’t matter because in the end she was still doing the gang’s bidding. She remembered the past, the ability she had to kill even with mercy. Even now she did so, she didn’t lengthen out the kill or torture, she simple decimated her enemy. Nothing was left and she did her best to ensure they didn’t suffer.

Sitting there, she nursed her injury on her leg were a varren bit her. The Krogan had his pack and it was one of the more difficult fights she had to deal with. She ripped apart of shirt and wrapped it around her wound. Her pants were torn apart but that didn’t matter to her. The sports bra would work to keep her covered. She glanced at the wall, looking at the bruises on her shoulder and along her waist. She was amazed nothing had been broken yet but there was plenty of cuts and bruises to make up for that.

There was little she could think of at the moment. Every sense, every emotion, she had just locked it all away. But each death was enough to remind her that she was no better than anyone else. She sat in her little cell, exhausted from the events of the day as her lifeless green eyes stared at the ceiling. But she noticed something as she leaned upward. A flicker of the light? That wasn’t just a random occurrence, lights were either on or off.   
Climbing out of her bed, she ran her fingers over the walls of the cell. Suddenly her bracelet went off as she cringe and fell down onto her knees. IT kept going off, over and over again. She didn’t argue or even speak. She was use to this, but even this number of shocks was abnormal. 

The tingle ran underneath her skin and she felt every nerve pulse as if they were on fire. The violent electrical current running through her body pained as she suddenly let out a scream. She fought to get back on her feet only to collapse onto her knees again as she panted for air and clinging to her life. The pulse made her feel her heart racing quickly as she dropped onto the floor completely, her eyes closing as she held onto the little bit of life force to keep herself from passing out. Either they were torturing her for not holding out on the last fight or something was wrong with their programming.

Her fingers wrapped around the bracelet as she pulled at it continuously but it made the shocks worse. "Stop it stop it STOP IT!" She yelled in between her chokes of pain, and as if by magic it stopped.

That’s when all the lights went out. She felt her legs shake against the weight of her burden and tried to move toward the panel she always went through to the fighting ring. There was barely enough ability to get to her feet as she stumbled and fell back over. Instead she crawled, forcing herself to do so. She pressed against the wall finally with not a change. She leaned against the wall, taking several deep breaths as her body shook. 

Specks of color flashed over her eyes from the pain that those shocked cause but there was no doubt, she could hear the yells and screams from outside. And then out of nowhere there was several clicks and behind her the door open up and she fell backwards. With a single omfph escaping her lips, she glanced over toward it.

"Get in." the voice spoke, and she easily recognized it. EDI. Roxanne squeezed her eyes shut as she ignored the pain that ignited her body on fire. She clawed her way into the panel and felt the rush of air as it shot sideways, moving through the same distinct path she was use to before coming to a random stop. The sudden stop cause Roxanne to get knocked off balance and slammed her head against the wall pretty hard as she groaned and rubbed her skull.

“EDI?” She questioned with a hoarse voice as she pressed her hand against the wall.

“They are trying to stall the board. Give me a minute Shepard.” EDI spoke quickly as she closed her eyes. A dizzy spell covered her mind as she groaned and felt her arms quake underneath her weight. Just as EDI promised, the panel popped back into motion, sliding through the delivery tube and hitting the surface. Her eyes opened up as she only saw darkness around the area but flashes of light from the thermal clips as the place had turned into a fire range. Roxanne growled underneath her breath as she had no weapon to even fire with, though she could barely fire if she wanted to. She leaned on her hands and knees as her hair flowed around either side of her face. She could hear shots in the distance before the fluid voice of another.

"Shepard, hold on." Roxanne instantly opened up her eyes as she looked forward and noticed Liara in the far distance. Her back was to her but there was no doubt she knew that voice and the curve of her crest behind her head. A few more shots ran off as Liara moved. There was little Roxanne could do but she forced herself to her feet. Her legs shook as she took a single step and then saw a flash of blue jumping over the railing and a blast of light forcing the shape forward and landing on the ring. Her arms went up ready for a fight but instead relief washed over her.

Garrus ran forward as he reached out with his claw and she took a step forward only to collapse forward. With luck he caught her and pulled her arm around his neck. “Shepard, Shepard. Always a bad day for you, isn’t it?” He said, though the joke held the hint of fear in his words.

“Heh,” She huffed as she felt him pull her to her feet and she shook her head. “We can’t go yet.” She said, and put her arm forward. The silver bracelet cuff still cover her wrist as Garrus tapped into his coms. “EDI, can you do something about that?” 

Roxanne leaned against Garrus as she waited. A soft click could be heard as Roxanne moved her arm from Garrus and pulled on the bracelet. The wound could be dealt with later, as she took it and threw it over the edge. Four single puncture wounds were visible on her wrist but she didn’t care. Garrus once again took her arm and pulled it around his neck as he held her firmly.

“Hold on tight.”

“Garrus, you, no!” She said before her voice broke into coughing. He ran forward, her feet running with a clumsy rhythm and he jumped into the air. A blast of heat came from his feet shooting him across the open air and they landed on the other side. Her eyes spotted two guards to the left as instinct took over and she pulled a pistol from Garrus’ holster and shot the two of them dead on site. The headshots were clean as she glared leaning against Garrus. 

But then her body reminded her of its weaknesses and the rough impact cause Roxanne to collapse and he grabbed her arm holding her firmly in place. “Liara, we gotta go.” Garrus said.

A darkness rested in Roxanne’s eyes as she growled. “We aren’t leaving yet. They need to pay.” Roxanne growled, as she turned her left arm and shot off several more shots at anyone running toward them. Her aim was clear even in her unstable state.

“Shepard, we are going.” Garrus demanded as Liara came up beside Roxanne, taking her other arm and pulling it up around her neck. She cringed slightly in pain but said nothing as they moved out of the empty fighting ring and straight toward a ship. She climbed on board and heard the familiar voice. 

“Need a hand, Commander?” Joker question as Roxanne chuckled softly which turned into a slight coughing fit.

“Maybe. Get us out of here.” She said as she dropped down onto her knees. Garrus held onto her as the blast threw her off balance and he felt into his lap, clinging to him for some sort of stability at the moment. A sigh escaped her lips as she didn’t even care that she refuse to move from the comfort at the moment. “What’s the date?” She asked as she looked between the two.

“November 16th.” Liara’s silvery voice spoke up.

“16th…” Roxanne’s voice faded as she realized it had been almost a month. Her body trembled again as she leaned against Garrus and her eyes fluttered shut.

“Commander, analysis shows you have experience electrical trauma to your body. Your legs have taking brunt damage but not too severe. Your brain waves seem normal but your high heart rate signal at the pain. You also have burn damage to your wrist. I suggest a dose of medi gel and immediate medical treatment.” EDI responded as Roxanne just closed her eyes. She felt the pain still lingering against her body and the need to rest. “I would advise not falling asleep Commander, you could have a concussion due to the impact accident in the tube.

“The one thing I want to do.” She said as Liara leaned over and took the salve over her wrist.

“That should help sooth the pain.” Liara added as Roxanne smiled. Part of her wanted to look at Garrus but the other part feared the disappointment in her eyes so instead she closed her eyes and leaned against him once more. “Shepard,” Liara questioned but Roxanne found it incredible difficulty to stay awake at that moment. She felt her breathing slow as she ease against Garrus’ body. But then she was being shaken and she couldn’t figure out why.

“Roxanne, Roxie!” The echo of Garrus’ voice sung like music against her ear yet she didn’t open her eyes. The blackness was too alluring as she allowed it to drag her down, deeper and deeper. The silky music rang in her ears as she listened to it. The blackness pressed against her body, feeling like a soft soothing bath or even the caress of a gentle lover. She embraced it, falling into it with ease. 

Roxanne didn't have anything to fear here. No doubt, no remorse, no pain, nothing. IT held endless possibility and wasn't even driven by panic. Everything was just calm and peaceful, no need for thought or delay. 

But the calm of the dream turned into a nightmare as the velvet quality of the blackness turned into a ticken deadly toxin. Roxanne felt it pulling against her mind, tipping the scales. The void dare to swallow her whole, chilling the deepest depth of her soul. She clawed at it, fighting against the grip it held as she moved up and up until she gasp and opened her eyes, finding the light.

“Don’t do that again!” Garrus demanded, as Roxanne glanced around. Time was difficult to tell as of late, as she looked at him. Without even asking he spoke. “Your at home. Figured going to the hospital wasn’t the best course of action. Liara here seems to know enough with her resources and EDI nearby.” He spoke with concern on his lips but there was a hint of anger as well. She didn’t even asked, she didn’t want to know.

Roxanne moved out of her bed, pushing the sheets away as she glanced down toward her leg which had been bandaged up and no longer stung, as well as her wrist as well. The bruises would take time on its own but nothing she feared. She looked in the mirror at the mess she was and glanced at Garrus.

“The rest of the team is below.”

 

“Team?”

“Yes, everyone is here. Liara, Tali, Joker, the whole deal. You really scared the shit out of all of us.” Garrus said, as he stood up and crossed his arms. “How about you explain that little stunt of yours? You're not invisible Roxanne, why do you continue to act like it?”

Roxanne looked at Garrus but she couldn’t find any words at the moment. She just waved her arm toward him and walked away from him. His arm reached over and grabbed her shoulder. “Roxanne, come on. You have to talk to me sooner or later.” She looked over her shoulder as her eyes held fear and worry, and most of all panic. She pulled away from him as she ran off toward the balcony of her apartment, stepping out and letting the door shut behind her. 

She was glad to see Garrus don't hunt her down. Instead silence accompanied her now as she sat down in the corner of the balcony, seeing the cars flying around the area. The night sky shimmered above as she gazed at it. She had helped Garrus once spare a man’s life, and she instead did the complete opposite. Her face lowered into her arms as she felt the painful reminder that she was nothing. In her own thoughts, she may be a hero to everyone but she knew, she could easily kill and destroy the world just as easily as she saved it. How could a man like Garrus love her when she could harm people so easily.

“I’m a monster.” She whispered.

“Shepard, you're not a monster.” The sound caught her off guard as she looked up and stared at Liara. “You’re always so hard on yourself, I know, I remember.” Liara said with a smile as she shifted to sit down beside her, placing her hand on her knee.

“Liara, do you know?” she questioned. Roxanne figured along with EDI, Liara probably knew more then she wanted. Being the Shadow Broker now, she had information from every corner of the world. 

“Shepard,” Liara stumbled on her words, as Roxanne crossed her legs and nodded. “Yes, I do now. I received the information only a few days ago. But that doesn’t make you a monster.” Roxanne took a deep breath as she moved her hands up through her hair.

“Liara, my past haunts me. It always will, and these people. If I don’t end this it will haunt me for the rest of my life. The great Commander Shepard, no more than a pawn of a gang.” She whispered, the words biting at her heart saying it out loud. “How can you excuse that? How can you be so accepting? Garrus, he won’t be able to accept it. I’m supposed to be the Galaxy’s hero, and I was nothing more than a filthy member who wanted to destroy and cause chaos.

Liara shook her head with a small smile. “I read your file. You may have been a part of the gang and done dark deeds, but you weren’t like other gang members. You held a code of honor even then, and you sought to have a purpose. You just found it in the wrong place at the time. They promise you so much, how could you not be enticed? A family, friends, a home, food? You were alone. I can’t say I wouldn’t have been tempted either if I had nothing.” Liara reached over once more and squeezed her shoulder gently, before pulling her into a hug.

“You’ve always been so critical with yourself, but this isn’t science or a relic to study. This is just you Shepard, it's your past but it will never be who you are unless you let it be.” She pulled away from the hug and shifted to lay her head on Roxanne’s shoulder as Roxanne rested against her. “Trust in Garrus, he wouldn’t turn against you so easily just because of a mistake. We all have our mistakes. It's what make us human, or well, that’s the saying you have here on earth. But you learn and overcome, and you did.You're a strong woman Roxanne Shepard, it's why I fell in love with you back before. I know times have changed and that love is no longer there, but I will never forget my first love.”

Liara paused in her thoughts and then spoke up. “Shepard, remember back when I joined with you? Would you mind if I did so again? I have something I wish to show you.” Liara asked turned to face her and shifted to sit on her knees.

“Liara, I have always been honored to do so with you. But why?” Roxanne questioned, as Liara just smiled.

“Trust me.” She said, as she placed her forehead against Roxanne’s. She closed her eyes and allowed her mind to open up for her. “Embrace eternity.” Roxanne felt herself falling, a sensation she received many times when she had done such a passage with Liara. But when she opened her eyes, she could see what looked like memories all around her, but she also noticed that it wasn’t her memories.

“These are the memories I have, each one special.” Liara’s voice spoke as she came to stand beside Roxanne. Roxanne stared at each one, noticing the one thing they had in common; Roxanne as in them. Her finger reach toward the memories, as her other hand was held by Liara. “You inspire people, roxanne. To be better, to do better. We all have weaknesses, we all fall at some point in our lives. You are just in a low point, but don’t forget that you have all of us. We have all been there with you every step of the way Shepard.” Her voice echoed against her ear as Roxanne walked with reverence inside of this room. It had been years, from the attack with Seran to working with her to find the Shadow broker. What she saw caused her heart to nearly stop.

Roxanne knew her words had impact, but to see them from a different point of view was seeing a whole new person. This wasn’t who she thought she was and yet the words in the memories spoke with rare power that even inspired herself.

“Don’t forget Shepard, out of all the suffering, the troubles and the pain emerge the strongest of leaders. Each leader determine who they are to people. You became a hero and will always be one. What you have forgotten is that you aren’t just a hero to everyone else, you are a hero to yourself.” The memories faded as Roxanne thought on her words.

Roxanne felt her throat tighten as her eyes opened. “Liara, you are too good for this world.” She said, as she felt no words could really replace what Liara had stated. She just took a moment in silence to think on what Liara had told her. She wanted to believe her, but she still fear the bite in the process. And not even that but she had to still speak with Garrus. She had left him angry and she was sure to hear an earful soon. So for now, she took a moment to have comfort with her friend. “Thank you Liara.” She said softly.


	10. Chapter 10

For once, Roxanne was terrified to find Garrus. Instead of going to find Garus, though, she moved into her room first as she sat down on the bed. Her fingers curled around the blanket as a flash moved through her eyes.

Heart pounding, blood pumping. Hands curling into a fist.

Roxanne blinked, as she shook her head. She didn’t want to think about that at the moment. She stared down at the floor, thinking about what she had done instead of Garrus suddenly, realizing the terrible deeds she had done. And worse, she started to think of no other option but killing.

Swift hit to the neck, cutting the blood supply. Foot angled and slammed into the thigh, break the bone and able to bleed out in minutes.

Cringing she shouldered her head as she ran her fingers through her hair. She just wanted to erase those memories, to forget they even existed. The Angel had turned her into something she never desired to be, or wanted to be again. She took a deep breath as she hung her head and allowed her hair to current around her face and leave her in privacy.

“What were you thinking?” the brutal voice caught her off guard as she looked up and stared at the Turian. His eyes bored into her as if he pressed against her soul. 

“Garrus, I,” She stumbled on her words, not even ready for this. Not yet, not here. She had been avoiding the subject, always skirting by. She was trying to find the right time, right place, yet she had avoided the entire situation for the last two days. Garrus was done with waiting as she could tell. 

“What were you thinking?” He questioned again as she shook her head.

“I don’t know. I tried not to kill them--”

“That’s not what I’m talking about. You left me, here, alone. You said you were going to be back and instead you went missing. Completely off the radar!” His sharp voice helped back the temper that she heard on the edge of his words. But what startled her was that he wasn’t bothered by the murder in the ring but the fact she…

No, she should have know this. She knew he would be upset, but she was so focused upon the ring and keeping him safe that she hadn’t comprehended how he would react after.

“Garrus, look,”

“He waved his arms and pointed at her with his claw. “No, this. This whole thing could have been avoided if you told us what was going on. I still don’t know what's going on but I trust you Roxanne! And you just left. Why?” That one single word was enough to stop her. There was a demand for an answer. Teror coursed agaisnt her bood as she knew she couldn’t avoid the subject any more.

“You need to sit down.”

“No.” He said with a stubborn voice and Roxanne stood up and gave a small nod.

“Fine.” She allowed her feet to pace over toward the desk in her room, placing her hands on the chair and stared down at it. How did she make this short and simple? She wanted to avoid it but she knew nothing would settle but the truth and she had to believe that everything would be okay. She loved him but she feared the truth would cause her to lose the turian she loved.

“I’m not what everyone thinks. This whole conflict started because of me.” She said, as she took a deep breath. She stood back up with her back straight and turned toward him. “I’m, was, the Angel of Darkness. This gang was my gang. I was one of the leaders, long before I joined the alliance.”[/b] She moved around him, her eyes avoiding contact with his as she moved back to sit down on the bed. She couldn’t help her pacing as she had a bad habit of doing so when she couldn’t settle.

“I wanted to change things after one finally draw. I was done. So once I had everything in the clear, I immediately joined the alliance. I tried so long to forget about all of this, to leave it in the past and now it's coming back to haunt me. This person, this Angel of Darkness, is now using this name to cause mayhem all around Dublin. I can’t have this, not in my homeland. I caused this, and I feel like it is my responsible to stop it.”

Garrus had his arms crossed and when Roxanne looked at him she could tell he was trying to phrase his words right. “And you really think just leaving would help you solve them?”

“Garrus, don’t you get it? These are my demons! Things I long since buried away hoping no one would realize how far I had fallen from humanity. I was a killer!” Roxanne shouted as she threw her hand out to the side. “I’m not this amazing perfect hero everyone wants me to be, or always have been. And this, this will destroy me.” Her voice lowered down into a whisper and she dropped her arm. “I don’t want anyone else harmed because of the mistakes of my past.”

“Roxanne, if there is anyone who knows about mistakes, it's me. I wanted to murder Sidonus remember? Thinking an eye for an eye was the right way to go. You taught me it wasn’t, I was blinded and determined to have blood. You need to realize the same thing. We make mistakes. Its how you work with them that determines just who you are.” Garrus reached over and took her hands as Roxanne wouldn’t look at him in shame.

“So next time you think about going on some crazy mission on your own again, give me a chance to join you on it.” Garrus spoke and she looked up at him. Confusion laced against her eyes as she pushed her brows together.

“That’s it?” She said, as she had been waiting for a lecture.

A smile crossed his lips as he squeezed her hands. “Roxanne, you are perfect in every way possible, even if you don’t think you are. I fell in love with you because of who you are, not who you were. And besides, I enjoy boosting about my kickas girlfriend who can put down a krogan.” He smirked as Roxanne couldn’t hold back the chuckle on her lips.

“Really, Garrus?”

“Oh yes, really. And those flips you can do and do you remember when you when around shooting down people soaking wet and that leather dress. Oh damn, did you look good.”

“Garrus, we were in the middle of a firefight, and all you can think about is how my legs looked in that dress?”

“What, I had to admire your curiosity to take down your enemies in a dress. That was beauty.” He said and Roxanne laughed again. Garrus leaned down, pressing his forehead against hers as she reached up and placed her hand behind his neck. 

“And here I thought I was in trouble.” She said softly and Garrus wrapped his arm around her back, pulling her into a hug.

“Roxanne, you're always in trouble. I just choose to be beside you at every turn possible in that trouble.” HE said softly, moving a claw to lift her chin upward. Without even thinking Roxanne pushed up on her toes to place her lips on his, something she had miss doing. Almost all her emotions poured out into that kiss, as she swept both her arms around his neck now, keeping his close and drawing it out as long as possible.

Finally, the kiss broke as she felt breathless but smiled. “I love you Garrus.” Her voice cracked as she felt a tightness against her throat again. She felt entirely grateful for the Turian in her arms. Ever fear, ever thought of doubt disappeared the moment she kissed him. EVen with the bit of pain on her body, she pulled him down into bed, as he caught himself above her as her back landed in the blanket.

“Shepard, your body still needs to heal. Let’s not try and break yourself again!” He said, gently pulling her into the center and laying her on her back.

A grin crossed her lips as she ran her hands along his face and down her jaw. “I know, but I needed to feel a little in charge now. Besides, the bed is much fluffier than those cots. Come lay with me.” She said, as she moved the blanket and pulled herself underneath it. Garrus shifted around and climbed underneath the bed. She moved her legs to weave into his, rested on between his legs and twisting her ankle around his.

“I think we still need to talk about you leaving me in the middle of dinner.” Garrus said as he put his arm underneath Roxanne’s head. His fingers ran through her hair as she let out a soft moan. She rested closer toward him as her fingers ran along the front of his outfit, tracing random patterns. 

Emerald eyes glanced up at him and gave a nod. “Well, I think I owe you dinner then, as well as maybe some vids. If we get time of course.” She said, and Garrus raised an eyebrow.

“You need a few days to heal. And as your temporary commanding office, I’m confining you to this bed.” Roxanne shifted with her brows lifting upward and a half laugh.

“Temporary Commanding officer? And who gave you that right?”

“Um, you did. Because I’m your boyfriend and that gives me rights.”

Roxanne couldn’t help but laugh again as she shook her head. “I think you have that a bit backwards, but okay, I’ll work with it. But if I’m confine to this bed, how will I make dinner, or get drinks, or take a shower?” She said, as Garrus grinned.

“Would quarters be better for you?” He questioned and her lips pushed to the side.

“No, no, bed is good. That means you have to dot upon my every need and whim.”

“Shepard, you're beating me at this game. Give me just a few inches?” Roxanne smiled and leaned up to kiss his nose.

“Okay, okay. Though I really don’t mind confining you to this bed right now either. Besides, your warm and I’m not letting you go now. Spectre orders.” Garrus opened his mouth and paused before tilting his head sideways. “I win.” She said laughing and Garrus started to laugh as well.

“That’s an abuse of power Spectre.” Garrus remarked as she nuzzled into his chest and he put his arm around her, holding her close.

“I’m okay with this. Just stay with me a few more minutes, okay?”

“Roxanne, I will stay with you til the end of time. You don’t have to worry about that. Now rest.” Garrus eased her thoughts as he smiled, brushing his fingers along her hair and behind her ear. 

“Yes Commander.” Roxanne said with a smile on her lips. She continue to let her finger trace against his chest, distracting her mind and heart. But even within the few minutes it was enough to cause her eyes to slowly close before she was finally found sleep calling her. With the gentle caressing of Garrus’ claws along her scalp and the distraction she created she could finally ease to sleep without fear of what would happen.


	11. Chapter 11

Waking up next to Garrus was a dream come true. Of course she jumped slightly waking up, thinking everything had been false hope but when she gazed at the soft breathing escaping his mouth and the twitch of his mandible, it was enough to cause a wide smile to be plastered over her face. She ran her hands over the crest horns before slipping out of bed. Quietly, she moved toward the bathroom, feel rejuvenated to start anew.

 

She stripped out of her clothes and turned the water on until she could see the steam starting to fog out the window over the sink. Carefully, she slipped into the water as she let a soft ahh escaped her lips.

 

“And here I feel abandon that you didn’t invite me.” The voice caught Roxanne off guard as she gasp.

 

“Dammit Garrus! Be glad I didn’t have my pistol.” She said as she leaned against the wall and saw Garrus leaning against the wall staring at her.

 

“Come now, you wouldn’t shoot a good looking Turian like myself.” Garrus mused as Roxanne ran her fingers through her hair as it soaked in the water and she shook her head now.

 

“It moves, I shot.” She stated before pausing and peek out the door. “Not that I would shoot that. That was bad, forget I said that.”

 

“Shepard, I’m wounded!” Garrus said as Roxanne just grinned.

 

“Are you going to get in here or continue to chat me up?” Roxanne tempted as she slipped back under the hot water, letting it smooth over her skin and just taking a moment to enjoy it before she felt Garrus’ arms wrap around her and pulling her away from the shower to look down at her.

 

“Both?” He said, as he placed his lips against her forehead before shifting back slightly and moving his arms to run through her hair. A soft moan escaped Roxanne’s lips as she closed her eyes and enjoyed the moment of pampering. She felt him stop as the scent of tea tree oil filled the shower and he ran the shampoo through her hair lathering it up. 

 

“Your pampering me.” She whispered, not even trying to stop him. She loved the feel of how his claws weaved through his hair, gracely moving against her scalp as she just soaked it up. 

 

Garrus’ voice echoed into her ear as she felt him leaning close against her ear. “I am, you deserve it.” He said, as he helped lean her back and allowed the hot water to drench her hair and washing out the soap. The sizzle of the soap sang in her ear as she pulled back up and opened her eyes to stare at him. Her eyes sparkled with adoration toward him as she moved her hand up toward his face, her thumb rubbing against his cheek.

 

She didn’t even have to speak, Garrus knew what she was saying as he smiled toward her as well. Roxanne closed her eyes again as she waited til she felt him running the smooth conditioner into her hair. Her thread hung own against her back, sticking to her skin as he repeated the process of running his hands through his hair over and over. His arm weaved around her back, holding her backwards as he washed the conditioner out of her hair. She just kept her eyes close, trusting Garrus as he helped wash her down.

 

Afterward, she moved to turn around and grabbed her loffa that was hung up and took her scented body wash. “Are you sure you want to smell like black orchids and juniper oils?” as her hands began to lather up the soap in the luffa and Garrus placed his hands over her. 

 

“Shepard, I’m sure I can handle it. Besides, there are worse things than black orchid, like vorcha sweat.” Roxanne wrinkled her nose and raised an eyebrow. HEr hand moved to rest against her hip and stared at him.

 

“Really?” Her voice question and she shook her head. His arms swept her up against his body as he kissed her forehead again before rubbing the luffa up and down her body, all along her back and down her legs. He took to moving around her instead of her moving for him. Roxanne had a soft laugh on her lips as he did this as she never expected him to. “You don’t have to do this Garrus, you know I can do this on my own.”

 

Garrus moved back up toward her face and smiled. “Yes, but how often do we get a chance to just be alone like this. I want to, now just quiet down and enjoy it.” He shifted her backwards as the water cascaded down her body, the soap washing off all the dirt and sweat that covered her body. The refreshing scents and the way her body felt relaxed for the first time in days made her more then ready just to climb back in bed and sleep. “Roxie,” Garrus whispered as she opened up her eyes realizing she had just been leaning against him and not speaking.

 

“Distracted, comfortable, do we have to move?” She said looking up to him with a smile on her lips.

 

“We don’t have to.” He grinned as she sighed and noticed he was still wearing the ring she had giving him around the silver chain. Her fingers delicately took it in her hands and kissed the emerald stone. Her fingers then wrapped around it and held it gently as she gazed up at him. No words exchanged as their eyes connected and held a silent moment of love. She let go of the necklace and wrapped her arms around him, letting her head rest against his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. Her eyes tightly closed as she realized just how much she missed this, missed him, even if it had only been for a month. 

 

Finally, she let go of him as she turned around and turned the water off before stepping out of the shower while grabbing a towel. She took another one and tossed it at Garrus as it landed on his head. Roxanne choked back a laugh as she dried herself off and gathering up her clothes. Her fingers ran through her hair but at last second decided to keep her hair down. She turned around to gaze at Garrus who was ready to go.

 

She moved downstairs as her eyes caught sight of the small gathering in her apartment. “This is unexpected.” She said, as Garrus nudged her slightly and smiled.

 

“How so? We always have your back.” He said. Her eyes sparkled toward him before taking in the few who were there. Tali, Liara, Ashley, Joker, Miranda, James, Samara, and Wrex were there. She gazed at them for a second before moving into the living room. She sat down and leaned forward in her seat staring at her closest friends. With the relays still being rebuilt many of them were currently taking leave to rest on Earth until movement could be better planned. 

 

She rested her hands on her knees as her fingers folded together. Garrus moved around and sat down beside her as she glanced toward the others. Everyone’s silence was enough to tell her they didn’t know the situation but we're going to help no matter what.

 

“The situation is clear. The Tenth Street Reds are targeting innocent lives and taking over. They don’t care who they gun down and they are determined to make anyone a target, including me.” She said, though not sure how to explain from there. “So, my plan is to check out the last locations I have. EDI?”

 

“I have each location Commander.” A blue layout appeared on the center in table and the four red spot popped up. Each one a distance from another. Roxanne’s hand moved up over her face as she thought about it.

 

“Shepard, if you will allow we can scout out these locations.” Liara spoke up and Roxanne glanced over at her.

 

“I can’t let you risk your life over this.”

 

“All due respect, isn’t that why we are here?” James spoke up as he leaned backwards in his chair with that smirk. Roxanne shook her head and glanced at them all.

 

“If we get to bust a few heads I’m in.” Wrex added as Roxanne took a deep breath.

 

“You still need time to heal Shepard. We can do this quickly which gives you time to heal and ready when you need to be.” Tali said as she moved her fingers over some data.

 

“Okay, then how about this. Tali and Wrex, you head over to the pier near Dublin Bay. Samara and James, you check out the Naspa Bank. Ashley and Liara, it's not really a location but more of a spot of interest. Investigation the whole area of Marina Park, including any alleyways and shops. Miranda and Jacob, I need you to go to the Fantasia nightclub. Look for anything out of the blue, something not normal. There is also a few key names to watch out for. Finch and The Angel of Darkness. At least that’s what she calls herself, I have no visual though.” As Roxanne spoke and point to each location, she also brought up an image of Finch for the others to take note of.

 

“Don’t engage anyone. Act like normal couples, I don’t want anyone taking fire until we have more information. Report back here immediately if you get anything. Any questions?” Roxanne asked, as she sat up waiting for their responses. A few shook their heads and she noticed the shift of Wrex getting antsy as she just smiled.

 

“Then I’ll let you all go. EDI, keep a connection between everyone. IF something happens, I want to know about it by yesterday.”

 

“Understood Commander.” The map vanished as everyone got up and moved together themselves. However, Roxanne continue to sit there as she leaned back with a sigh. 

 

“I swear, if anyone of the mget shot at, I’ll kill them.” She whispered to herself and Garrus reached over and cupped her hand in his.

 

“They are more than capable, always have been. You’ve assembled the best and they know what they are doing. I’m more upset that you didn’t get me out there.” Garrus teased and Roxanne had a smile on her lips.

 

“Would it be selfish to say I wanted you with me? Besides, what if my apartment gets shot up?”

 

“Roxanne, you would shot them dead, but you know, I can work with this.” Garrus said, as he moved his arm around her shoulders. Roxanne leaned up against him, as she watched each group leaving the apartment in timed intervals, leaving just herself, Garrus, and Joker in the room.

 

“Hey Commander, this calls for another party when all this is over with, right? I mean, we haven’t even had a “we killed the reapers” party yet!” Joker said with a grin as he shifted the hat on his head before getting up to grab the controls. “Let’s see what you got on TV Shepard.

 

“Just cause I’m a Commander doesn’t me I don’t have good TV or vids. Knock yourself out Joker. Food sounds pretty good too.” She said, as she moved to get up but Garrus placed his hand on her knee and got up instead. She enjoyed the pampering but she wondered what was up. Instead of reacting though, she allowed him to do so. She was to let them all handle themselves. It feel increasingly odd to do so, not being in the front line or handling these situations herself but she knew she could trust them. They have been through hell and back three times over. She only hoped that none of them would die with this situation because of her past causing troubles.


	12. Chapter 12

There was little Roxanne could do the next couple of days. With her comrades out scouting the boundaries, she found herself itching to do something. Anything that could put her hands to use. Sitting around wasn’t a normal gameplay for her and it bothered her to think they were out risking their lives while she laid in bed. She didn’t care for a luxury life and she felt as if she failed all of them. She sat on the edge of her bed, staring at the floor as her fingers tapped together.

 

Her mind wandered as she thought of the past. She remembered the eyes of those she lost, the fear they felt and the sadness. The lives that she failed no matter how hard she tried. Could she handle that again? To know that several lives were lost because she couldn’t set aside her own emotions? No matter how right it was, no matter what decision she made, lives would be lost. It didn’t make it feel right though, it felt like a failure.

 

She stood up abruptly before grumbling as she moved toward her bookshelf. Even though she could easily read from a screen Roxanne found a simple pleasure in having a paperback book between her hands. The smell of parchment and the feel of the crisp pages flipping between her fingers. She glanced at her wrist and the bandage around it as well as the wrappings around her leg. Any soreness she felt lingered in the back of her mind. Medigel helped it heal much more quickly but even then she was still human.

 

And that’s what bothered her.

 

With the book in hand she moved back toward the bed, slipping into the sheets as she gazed outside for a moment. Rain hit the windows as thunder and lightning flash in the distance. She jerked slightly at the flash, a tiny reminder of how much she hated thunder. Her fingers ran along the cover of the book. Spirit of Albion, written by Greendell Highet. Trying to find some semblance of peace, she opened the book and allowed her eyes to wander over the words.

 

Minutes turned into hours as she found herself stuck on the same pages. Eventually her anger came out as she slammed the book shut and threw it at the wall. However, she immediately regretted her decision as she saw Garrus duck out of the way and she widened her eyes in horror.

 

“Garrus! I’m,” Her voice faltered as she reached her hand over and moved it over her forehead.

 

“Don’t worry about it, it’ll take a lot more than a book to knock me out.” He said but the concern was clearly evident upon his eyes. He shifted into the room and sat down on the bed, his hand moving behind her back.

 

“What’s on your mind Roxie? You're not usually this aggravated.” He said, knowing well enough her anger was something afforded only for her enemies. HEr shoulders dropped as she shook her head.

 

“Memories. I’m wondering if I’ll ever be free of the torment I have to live with.” She whispered, before looking over at him. “How do you do it? you, the Turians, all of you? How do you live with the decisions you make, even if those decisions cost thousands of lives? I have so much blood on my hands, and I just added more to that list over the last few weeks.” She turned and gazed down at her hands. Callous and tough, but still dealing with the damage of a lifetime.

 

“Roxanne, there’s no real answer I can give to that. Besides, I was never a good turian in the first place, I always went against the laws, and I always refused to follow a bad order.” Garrus shifted to sit beside her, pulling the blanket over him as he leaned back against the headboard. Her eyes turned toward him and she shook her head.

 

“But even my orders, were they right? Maybe there was better options, maybe I could have saved one more life.”

 

“Or it could have cost thousand more. You have always done what was best. Not just for you, or for those around you, but for the entire galaxy. They were never easy and sometimes there wasn’t really a right one, but you always made the best choice when it came down to it.” Garrus spoke to her as his hand reached over to touch hers. “I wish there was a way we could have saved everyone, but no matter what you can always know that you always did what was best when the time called. You saved thousands of people, millions. And not just humanity, turians, quarians, even krogans. You were the hero the galaxy needed, and if I could go back and do it all again I would. Because it brought me to you.” He reached over from her hands and lifted them up toward her heart and rested them there. Afterward he placed his hand on top of hers and glanced at her with gentle eyes.

 

“This has never changed, your heart is filled with more compassion than anyone I have known. IT wasn’t just your strength and power I fell for, it was the heart you had for so many people you have never known. They will all know about you but you, you sacrifice so much for people you will never meet. And I get to be with that woman, with you.”

 

Roxanne glanced over at him, and smiled. “Not just because of the flexibility.”

 

Garrus laughed immediately and gave a nod. “Oh, definitely for the flexibility to.” The moment he said those words he paused as Roxanne just raised a brow. “Wait, that sounded wrong.” but it was too late, Roxanne was laughing as she leaned her head back against the headboard. “But really, Roxie, I love you for everything you are. And you will continue to do what is right. I’ve never doubted you once. Noooow,” His voice drew out as Roxanne reached up to rub her cheek and glanced toward him.

 

“what did you do?” She questioned and he grinned.

 

“Give me an hour. Put something nice on and when that hour is up come downstairs. Okay?” Roxanne shifted in her bed as he placed a hand on her leg, and she folded her arms together.

 

“Um, Garrus?” She said, her eyebrow raising again.

 

“No, trust me! Just, an hour, okay?” He said, and immediately left the room. She watched him skirt out of the room with more agile movement then she had in awhile, wondering what he was up t. But she got up out of bed and moved over toward her closet. Her fingers thumb through different outfits and pulled out a solid dark navy blue dress that was strapless and about knee high length. She tapped her finger against her lips as she placed it on the bed and then slipped into her bathroom to put her hair in a quick updo. It wasn’t anything extensive, instead something simple. She put half of her hair up in a ponytail, with some bangs hanging out and the rest of her hair hanging down her back. 

 

Afterward she moved back into the bedroom, sitting on the bed as she glanced at the clock. To distract herself, she threw on a vid of one of the current football games going on between the astro gauntlets and the ferrows dreves until she had a good five minutes left. Getting dressed was easy as she stripped down and pulled on the dress, positioning it right though she grumbled at the visible wraps on her body. But they were no longer pink bleeding through which meant they were almost healed. Just for kicks, she pulled out a pair of heels and then moved downstairs.

 

The moment her door opened the smell of freshly cook chicken hung on the air with a sweet aroma hit her and she found her mouth watering. "What did he do?" She said, as she slipped down the stairs and toward the kitchen. As she peeked around the corner she noticed the music playing in the background and then a table set for two with candles.

 

"Garrus, you know you don't have to woo me with this sort of thing, right?" She said as Garrus peeked around the corner. For a moment, he just stared at her as she placed a hand on her hip, waiting for him to speak up. Due to his moment of pause, all Roxanne could do was smirk, knowing the outfit had his attention.

 

"I know Roxie, but I thought you deserved it. Besides, it's getting me use to the cooking styles for you. Too bad I can't cook you up some turian style meals, but I rather you not fall over and die." He said, as he took a plate and sat it down on the table.

 

"That would make the headlines. Shepard dies of Turian cuisine instead of reaper invasion." She said with a smirk and moved over to the table. With an quick foot Garrus pulled her chair out and she sat down as he helped her get comfortable. "You're spoiling me Garrus." She said, though quite content with the situation.

 

"Anything for my love." He said, leaning over to kiss her cheek. But Roxanne shifted quickly so that her lips would land on his and smiled with a devilish smirk.

 

She gazed toward the food as Garrus sat down across from her and she took a moment to appreciate the scent and how well done it was made. "How did you know this was one of my favorite foods?" She asked as Garrus smiled.

 

"Roxanne, I can read you like a book. You had several cookbooks with all sort of italian listed foods. I figured there must be a reason." He said, leaning back and putting his claws together.

 

A chuckle escaped her lips and nodded. "That there is. Too bad I can't cook to save my life." She said, as she picked up the fork and twisted the pasta along and then a piece of chicken as well before taking a bite. The smoky taste of the chicken against the smooth texture of the pasta melted inside of her mouth as she placed her hand on her lips. Garrus leaned forward slightly, appearing nerved as Roxane ate the first bit.

 

"Damn Garrus, this is amazing! Bruschetta chicken pasta, right?" She questioned and Garrus nodded. He visibly relaxed back into his chair as Roxanne took a moment to enjoy the food as she glanced up to notice Garrus getting up and grabbing a clear round bottle with golden liquid inside of it.

 

“I thought you might something to drink too. Though I wasn’t quite sure what to get you.” He said, as he poured her a glass and then took a different bottle and poured his own. 

 

“You're not trying to get me drunk now, are you?” The sarcastic tone crossed over Roxanne’s lips as she took the glass in hand and swirled it around.

 

“Me? Never. Unless you like that sort of thing then yes, yes I am.” Garrus spoke with a smooth voice and Roxanne laughed.

 

“I can hold my liquor quite well, a glass won’t do anything but give me a nice taste.” She said as she tilted the liquor back into her mouth, the taste of bourbon coating her lips as she licked it down. “Nice, you have good taste.” She said as she dug back into her food. “You're not going to get anything to eat?” She asked as Garrus waved his hands.

 

“Nay, I already got myself something to eat after getting what I needed. I just wanted you to enjoy this night.” He said as he took his glass of liquid and drank it as well. Roxanne took time in silence to eat and drink, the comforting feeling just being alone with Garrus mentally healing her. A part of her worried for her friends but they hadn’t received any word of trouble so she assumed everything was fine. She felt tension in her shoulders ease out of her as she finished the last bit of her food, leaning back in her chair as she used a napkin to clean her lips.

 

“That was absolutely delicious. Keep spoiling me Garrus and you might be cooking dinner from here on out.” She said as Garrus had a sly grin on his face. 

 

“I quite enjoyed it actually. Different from handling a weapon, but in some ways the same. Gotta have the right kind of ingredients and the perfect touch or it just won’t come out the same.” 

 

“Much like your calibrations, hmm? And trust me, you don’t want me behind a stove. I’ll set the apartment on fire.” Garrus’ mouth opened up but then he closed it as Roxanne just smirked at catching the cat by the tongue.

 

“I’m good at my job, what can I say? And let's’ not catch any house on fire, that’s the last thing we need.” Garrus stated as he got up and moved over to pull her chair out from behind her.

 

“Come here you.” She said, as she stood up and pushed herself up onto her toes to kiss his lips unexpectedly. Without even thinking, she surprised him by pushing him up against the wall that had been just inches from her chair, and then broke the kiss as she stared up at him with a foxy grin on her lips. “Now, about those calibrations.”

 

“Damn, Roxie. And here I was just being sweet.” He placed one of his fingers underneath her chin and quickly shifted around to place her up against the wall, though careful attention was made not to do anything to roughly. “Though I’m still worried about your condition, are you sure you want to do this?” concern rested on his lips as Roxanne rested her arms on his shoulders.

 

“Garrus, I’m a tough human, takes more than a varren bite and some electricity to knock me on my ass. Trust me, if anything happens, I’ll let you know. I won’t hide that from you. Besides, we have the place to ourselves,” She said as she leaned up toward his ear. “Might as well really make it ours.” Her voice sang against his ears as his claws wrapped around her thighs and lifted her up into the air. With a small twist, he turned toward the counter to sit her on it and gazed into her eyes with love.

 

“Mhmm, you are right.” He said, as he leaned over and kissed her neck gently. “But first, before we do anything, I want to give you something.” Roxanne sat on top of the counter, her hands resting on her knees as she watched him with a curious look. It was the first time he had stopped in the middle of the action and by doing so her attention was fully on what he had. Her head turned as Garrus moved back toward the table.

 

“Roxanne, we have known each other for nearly five years now. Well, minus two due to the whole, no, that’s not the point. We have been through thick and thin and I’m sure there is no one in this galaxy who knows me better.” His voice spoke as he held something in his hand and moved back toward her. Roxanne gazed at him with a lost of words, not quite sure of where he was going with this.

 

“We’ve literally been through hell and back twice, or possible three times. Probably going to be more knowing you,” He grinned at saying that and gave a nod, “And you know, I really had this whole thing planned and now I’m just rambling and you really throw me off my game.” He said, as his shoulders dropped slightly.

 

“Garrus, it's just me. Roxanne Shepard, no Commander, no Spectre, just me. What is it?” Roxanne said as her hand reached over to his face and touched it lightly.

 

“The vids definitely aren’t helping. I had everything planned out and now it's just. Okay, what is it.” Roxanne could hear the nerves on his lips as she leaned forward and planted a kiss to silence him for a moment.

 

“Yes?” She questioned.

 

“Roxie, Roxanne, after all these years and everything we’ve been through, there’s no one else I could see myself with now. And, I wanted to do the human style tradition. Its different for Turians, but,” His hand moved around and held out a small black box. His claw lifted it up and instead was a ring made out of silver shimmered inside of the box with single line of blue sapphires etched into it. The middle one had an iridescent glow in it as Roxanne stared at it. "I got you this. There are five sapphires for the five years we’ve known each other, and the center one is glowing like my visor and well--” His voice cut off as Roxanne’s eyes were wide and staring.

 

“Okay, you're scaring me Roxanne.” He said, holding the box as she had a small smile.

 

“You were explaining, you haven’t even asked anything yet.” Her voice was as quiet as a mouse though as Garrus paused.

 

“Of course I would forget. Roxanne, I would be honored if you would marry me.” He spoke and Roxanne wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close to kiss his lips.

 

“Garrus Vakarian, I think the honor would be mine. How long have you been planning this?” She asked, as she held him close. He placed the ring down and wrapped his arms around her.

 

“The night before we went after the reapers.” His voice spoke softly as Roxanne’s eyes widen again. Her heart skipped a beat as she laid her head against his shoulder. 

 

“Garrus,” She said, know at a lost of words. “Garrus, I’m sorry.”

 

“Why? You came back to me and here you are! I never doubted you once, I knew you would survive. Of all the stubborn hard headed humans in the galaxy, you could do it.” He said with confidence on his voice and Roxanne gazed up at him.

 

“So was it that difficult to come up with something for all of this? I’m guessing the Turian style is much different.” She asked, not letting him go as she tilted her head.

 

“Well, much different. Our matter of marriage is more called a bonding ceremony. We exchange our tribal makeup designs, showing the merging of the two lines, and then we leave scars on the shoulders of our bondmates. We don’t really use rings as they are particularly useful for military divisions.” Roxanne looked at Garrus for a moment and gave a small nod.

 

“I’m not against getting scars but I think my fear would be more bleeding out.” Roxanne laughed as she moved her hand up along her face. “But we should do a ceremony on your side as well. Deal? One for one?” She asked, and Garrus had a smile on his face.

 

“Deal. Wait, how did this get turned on me for you?” He spoke with confusion and Roxanne had a devious grin.

 

“Because I’m Commander Shepard.” Roxanne tilted her head to gaze at the ring. Garrus reached over to pull it out of the box, taking her left hand and slipped it on her ring finger. For a moment, Roxanne just stared at it with a mesmerized look before leaned forward and pressing her lips passionately against Garrus’. She wanted to express every feeling she had, every ounce of joy and happiness that he had just made her. She pulled her legs around his waist and hooked them behind him as her arms wrapped around his neck. 

 

“Roxanne  Miranda  Shepard-Vakarian. I like the ring of that.” Garrus said after breaking the kiss and leaned over to nibble her neck as she purred softly.

 

“Mhmm, I like it too. Is that a part of the turian bonding? We take both names?” She questioned as she leaned her head to the right slightly. She allowed her fingers to trail along the carapace as she could hear Garrus hum softly against her neck.

 

“Typically, the stronger of the two takes claim to the last name. It's to bring honor and respect to the one who can protect the family. But there are some cases were bonding mates decide to take both names. I suggest we put your name surname first and mine after. What do you think?” He asked curiously as his claws moved along her waist as she took a deep breath in feeling them move behind her back to the zipper.

 

“If you want mine to be first we can do that. But we have always succeed together. So both. Garrus Shepard-Vakarian.” She couldn’t help but grin at hearing his name with her surname there. She pulled her fingers up around his outfit, pulling at the clips that held it together. She took a deep breath as she finally felt the zipper being pull down and releasing her out of the dress as she pulled his outfit down his body. Garrus immediately pulled her back into his arms, carrying her over toward the couch. 

 

Garrus laid Roxanne down onto the couch as she grinned. She eagerly pulled off his outfit as far as she could before he took off and pulled it down his legs and kicking it off. She sat up as she pulled the dress down around her hips as his claws hooked into the leather and pulled it off of her as well, before taking off her underwear as well. “Your bra is still a problem, how can you humans function with those?” Garrus said, as he gazed at her strapless bra.

 

“We’ll figure something out, it just takes a little practice.” Roxanne chuckled as she unclasp the three hooks and then tossed it aside. “Now come here.” She said as she leaned back and watched Garrus climb on top of her. Her hand reached up to touch his cheek gently and pulled him into a kiss. The way his claws moved against her skin made her purr. Slowly, he traced her scars as she had small flashes of how she gained them, others she had no memory but she loved when he did so. A silent reminder that he loved everything about her. 

 

Her own hands ran over his define plates and firm skin, lightly tracing over the range of his neck and carapace then down his back. A gasp escape her lips as she felt one of his claws rubbing along her nether region, pulling away from the kiss as she leaned her head back. Her teeth pulled her bottom lip into her mouth as she felt him carefully rolling over her bud as his mouth moved  down along her collarbone. 

 

Roxanne eased her hand toward his hip only to feel his other hand stop her, pulling it to the side and holding it down firmly. She sighed as she leaned her bed back as his tongue ran over her nipple with expert practice. “Ahhh,” She whispered as her toes curled.

 

“How much do you want it?” Garrus asked as he stopped playing with her breast and Roxanne licked her lips.

 

“You know I want it.” She moaned.

 

“Oh no, I want to hear you say it, make me believe it.” Roxanne had a small growl on her lips but it was from the teasing he made. She loved it, the way he could make her melt with ease.

 

“Dammit Garrus, I want you, every bit of you,” she gasp as her hips bucked slightly as his finger sped up in its brisk movement, rolling over her bud over and over as Roxanne started to pant. Garrus eagerly nuzzled his face into playing with her breast again as her free hand reached up to curl into her hair. Her left foot shifted to wrap around his leg and her right ran up along his waist. She could feel her peak growing with anticipation as Garrus moved back up to her collarbone, carefully letting his teeth graze against her skin. Goosebumps ran over Roxanne’s skin as she felt a soft bite against her skin. IT was just enough to spur Roxanne into a series of moans as she broke her hand from Garrus’ grasp and wrapped them around him, pulling his face over to her as she pushed a kiss against his lips, wanting to express her love and desire for him. 

 

Her fingers curled around his shoulders, holding him firm as she pushed her hips up again. “God, Garrus, don’t stop!” She whimpered as she found herself unable to stop pushing her hips against his hand. The faster he moved the more she found herself fully at his mercy. She finally cried out as she arched her back and felt her body tighten and respond to his pleasant foreplay.

 

Sweat gathered around her brow as she opened her eyes and smiled. As she moved her leg she felt his own membrane had finally come out of the hold and shifted to flip him on his back. Her hips straddled over him as she gazed down into his sapphire eyes, admiring how handsome he looked. 

 

“Now,” She whispered as she leaned forward, allowing her entrance to rub up and down his manhood. “I think I should help you out as well.” A growl came from Garrus as his claws moved over her hips and she leaned down to place her hand on either side of his face. Her hair shifted along her shoulders and down to frame her face like a current as she smiled to Garrus. “Eager?”

 

“Most definitely. I love you Roxanne, I want to be one with you.” Garrus spoke in a rich tone as she lenaed down. Roxane couldn’t even think of anything else to say after that, as she pressed her lips against his, as their tongues moved against each other. The tango between the two distracted Garrus enough as she shifted her hips upward and slowly lowered herself down onto him. A soft gasp matched Garrus’ groan as she laid down on top of him for a moment. 

 

Slowly, Roxanne moved her hips up and down in a slow thrusting movement as she leaned back and and threw her hair over her shoulder. Her fingers move through her hair to flip it over to the left as she moved with graceful ease. 

 

“Spirits, you are so tight. Are you okay?” Garrus asked as he ended with a moan and Roxanne placed a finger on his lips.

 

“Don’t you worry yourself, love. If there is any trouble, I will tell you.” She said, as she leaned down and placed her mouth against his neck. She moved her teeth against the leather like skin. His hands moved over to squeeze her breast as she moved against him. She could heard Garrus moaning and she couldn’t help but smile.

 

Moving her hips faster, she sat back up as she gasp at how amazing it felt to be with him again. Her feet hooked underneath his thighs as she leaned forward just slightly with her hands curling against the leather cushion. 

 

“Damn, Roxie, I forgot how good this was!” Garrus grunted as he wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her close. “Stay near me.” He whispered, as she moved one hand up along the crest of his head and the other touching his neck.

 

“I will,” Roxanne whispered as she moved as fast as her hips could manage. The two moaned together as their pants synchronized together. Just as she felt herself reaching her climax Garrus’ claws reached around her hips and pulled her off laying her on top of him. She let out a scream of pleasure as she shuddered against him, laying down on top of his chest.

 

“Did I get it?” She asked between pants and Garrus paused for a moment without speaking. Roxanne leaned up to brush her long red hair aside, as she looked toward him. His eyes were closed for a moment before opening and a smile on his lips.

 

“You did, no one else can do it like you Roxanne.” He said, as he wrapped his arms around her now as the two laid down with each other. She curled her legs around his hips as she rested her head against his shoulder. HEr eyes closed for a moment, just enjoy the body contact. Though she got this every night, she never once took it for granted. Too many times had she seen death and she never wanted to forget the moment of being near him. 

 

She opened up her eyes to lifted her left hand up and gazed at the ring on her finger. “I love you Garrus.” She whispered and kissed his cheek. Garrus’ hand moved along her back softly as he placed his forehead against hers.

 

“Roxanne, I will love you until the spirits take me home.”His husky voice made Roxanne melt as she smiled and laid her head back down against him. She pulled her arms in close as she rested one against his heart, feeling the fast movement matching herself and she couldn’t help but chuckle at how they were matching each other. “What’s so funny?” Garrus asked.

 

“Nothing, it's just that our hearts or synchronizing. Its as if it's meant to be.” She sat up as she placed her elbow against the cushion and rested her head on her hand. “I want to make you happy, no matter where we are. You deserve happiness.” She said, and Garrus tilted his head to gaze at her.

 

“That’s all I want to do for you as well Roxanne. I want you happy, no matter where we are or what we are doing. I make you a promise now to always be by your side for better or worse.” He said, as Roxanne grinned.

 

“Did you read up on the marriage ceremonies?” She questioned and Garrus had a paused before a small chuckle as his mandibles shifted.

 

“I may have, I was curious. That just kind of happened by accident.”

 

“That’s adorable Garrus. I love you.” She said, as she leaned over to kiss him and laid back down on his arm.


	13. Chapter 13

Step after step, Roxanne found herself pacing in the living room. They were late. Why? She moved her fingers around her ring as she thought on nothing else. Finally she sat down as she heard the echoing voice.

 

“They will be here in five minutes Commander.” EDI spoke up as Roxanne glanced toward the speaker. 

 

“Thank you EDI.” Roxanne said as she sighed and eased into her seat. She pulled off her ring for a moment, gazing at the shimmering sapphire in the center as a smile slipped over her lips.

 

“Well someone’s smitten.” James voice caught Roxanne off guard as she looked up and just smirked toward him. She slipped the ring back onto her pointer finger as James just stared for a moment.

 

“No way Lola! Did he?”

 

“Oh, he did.” James moved with enough speed to make Roxanne blink as he smacked her on the shoulder.

 

“It's about time! I call dibs on the bachelor party.” James said with such enthusiasm as Roxanne smacked her forehead. But she couldn’t help but snicker a little bit as she waved her hand toward the couch. Her eyes turned toward the door as she saw Samara come through the door along with everyone else behind her.

 

“Yo guys, did you hear? Shepard’s hitched!” Roxanne turned her head to raised a brow at James and shook her head as everyone turned to look at her.

 

“You deserve happiness Shepard. May you live a long and happy life.” Samara spoke up.

 

“Shepard! When did this happen?” Tali questioned as Roxanne smiled.

 

“Yesterday night.”

 

“I was wondering how long it would take you Shepard. I swear, the two of you were dense as rocks.” Miranda spoke up but she had a smile on her lips. “But I do believe we have other business to attend to?” Roxanne just chuckled but nodded in turn. Miranda was right and she wanted to know what had happened.

 

“Just give me the rundown, what happened?” She questioned as her hands folded together. 

 

“It appears that none of the locations are quite active. Each one were normal.” Miranda spoke up as EDI brought up the map. Roxanne glanced over the four locations as her hand reached up toward her lips and stared for a moment. “However, there was some odd activity at the Pier. Tali?”

 

Roxanne’s eyes turned toward her friend as she looked between her and Wrex.

 

“We were attacked.” Tali started and Roxanne eyes’ widen.

 

“Why was I not informed?” She questioned suddenly and Wrex beat his fist together.

 

“Come on Shepard, do you doubt me already? I had those bunch of weaklings pin down easily with just a few headbutts!” Roxanne tilted her head toward Wrex and shook her head.

 

“Still,” She whispered and leaned back. “And?”

 

“And it seems they weren’t expecting more of us. They are using some sort of tech to cloak their signals, not even I could trace it.” 

 

“Shepard, if any intel was collected, I may be able to trace it myself. It is worth a try, is it not?”

 

“Tali, upload the signals you had, see if EDI can hack it.” She said, as she watched Tali before EDI went off to work.

 

“So nothing out of the ordinary?” She glanced at all of them and they all shook their heads. Her hand reached over to rest on her chin as she stared at the map for a minute. Besides the pier, nothing was out of the ordinary. But at that moment she jumped up and stared at the location of the bridge.

 

“Shepard?” Liara’s voice broke out as Roxanne put a finger up. Her memory went back to remembering what happened at the pier in the past. It was just a regular event, though regular for a gang wasn’t normal. But what was the point, wasn’t it? She took the map and enlarged the area to gaze at the pier, and the memory in her mind. It flashed behind her eyes as she knew what it was. Another hint, go home. But where the hell was home? Roxanne growled as she waved her hand.

 

“Its another hint. They want us to ‘go home’.” She said as she crossed her arms. “The question is, where is home?”

 

“Shepard, the signals are indeed cloaked, but I have one single alert that gets stopped near Yesman Drive.” EDI spoke up and she took a deep breath.

 

“Thank you EDI.” She said, as she waved her hand.

 

“All of you get some chow and clean up. We’ll need to be ready for whatever comes. I have an idea but I need to do a bit more research. Meet me here in four hours.” Roxanne said as they all nodded. Roxanne got up as she moved up the stairs into her room, pacing for a moment.

 

Pacing back and forth again, she tried to think of what could be a hint. She knew this was done on purpose, they wanted to wear her out, make her move from location to location, frustrate her. She wasn’t going to play that game though, as she pressed a button on her omni-tool to bring up the map once again. She gazed at the pier, her fingers scanning through the pictures. “Where are you?” She whispered as a hand rested on her shoulder.

 

“Roxie?” She glanced over to Garrus and smile a little. “How about I help you? With this being so personal, it's possible you are overlooking something.” He said. She was use to always doing these things on her own, making the decisions and people just following her orders. For once, she gazed at Garrus, and gave a nod.

 

“Each location has a significant connection to my past, each one a meaning. They…”She lowered her head and shook it slightly. The memories rolled over her mind along with the regret. 

 

“Roxie, you don’t have to tell me, not until you are ready.” The rich sound of his respect rang in her ear as she looked at him concerned.

 

“I’m not going to hide it anymore, it's not fair to you or anyone.” She moved her finger to point at the pier. “There was my first big job, trivial in aspects but it was still the success, in terms to the gang. It was a trade off between the Tenth Street Reds and the Sunstones. Except we were to kill everyone to prove our gang the stronger of the two. But we didn’t just kill them, we killed everyone. Gang and innocents. I can still remember seeing the terror in the child’s eye before the bomb went off.” She whispered the words as if saying them would make it happen again.

 

Slowly to moved away from those pictures and brought up the alleyway. “I know I told them to search around Marina Park, but the reason was near the location was an alleyway. I made my first kill there and it's also how I got that code name. I took no pleasure in it, please know that.” She said, looking over toward Garrus, fear in her eyes as she mentioned this. Garrus moved to touch his hand on her cheek and leaned over to press his lips against her forehead.

 

“That is the past, I know who you are now and it's who I fell for.” Garrus reassured her. A sad smile crossed her lips as she closed off that location and turned another picture on as she pointed at it. 

 

“Naspa Bank. This was my first heist with a team. It's where I made my mark as a leader. Another trivial point, but it's what proved my skills as a leader to the gang and they made me one of the gang minor leaders.” She breezed through that picture and then pulled up the club. “And then we have Fantasia. It's a top rallying location for many gangs. IT's kind of a ‘neutral ground’ location. Anything from heavy narcotics to prostitutes are found around there. I never had any real dealings there unless I was told to go there in the past.” She said, before returning back to the map.

 

“See why I’m lost? I don’t understand where ‘home’ could be. And just why would this Angel lay herself in the open like that. I couldn’t even get a goddamn look of her face.” Roxanne growled as she crossed her arms as she tapped her foot.

 

“Think about this like a movement. Where’s the best position to overlook someone and take them out. My money's on the fact she is right where no one would expect her to be. Fantasia.” Garrus said as Roxanne frowned.

 

“But why? Of all the places, it's the most obvious! She would know I would want to strike there first so I didn’t.”

 

“Roxie, that’s exactly what it was. She knew you were emotionally invested in this, so she probably did exactly what you thought. You are so determined to find her you wouldn’t look in that one spot because you thought of it first. She is working against your logic. I bet you she’s been watching every little spot from there.” Garrus spoke up with a confident sense on his voice. She gazed at the map as she felt her lips pushing together.

 

She was playing a game with her and she was winning. Roxanne her hands into a fist. “So it's not enough to patronize me, she has to turn this into a game!” Roxanne yelled as her anger boiled underneath her eyes. “She has to torment people and kill them just to get me off her trail. Dammit, she’s going to die.”

 

Just as she went to slam her fist against the wall, Garrus reached up to grab her fist and held it firmly. “Roxanne, this is what she wants. She’s riling you up.” 

 

No matter how much Roxanne wanted to deny it, she knew Garrus was right. Her hand held the first for a few seconds before slowly undoing themselves and taking ahold of his hand. “She’s going to pay. This needs to end, we need to shut down this gang.” Roxanne said as she looked over to Garrus with eyes burning with determination.

 

“We will, and you will. Bt don’t forget who you are. Don’t kill her, you taught me that, remember? We don’t kill unless there is no other option. We turn her over to the authorities. I know you are a spectre and no matter what its your decision but I don’t want you to lose yourself in this.” Garrus said, and Roxanne gazed up at him.

 

“I won’t.” Roxanne nodded as she leaned over and kissed him. “I won’t.” She said again, before looking down at the map that was still pulled up on her omni tool. She would find this Angel of Darkness, and she would end this.

 

“Garrus,” Roxanne spoke up as her fingers weaved around his claws for a moment, holding onto it as if it was her lifeline. “If anything happens--”

 

“Don’t speak like that now Roxie. You’ve made it before, and you’ll make it again.” Garrus said, as Roxanne moved her other hand to take his other claw, holding them both.

 

“I know, but please bare with me. I just want you to know that I love you and I’ve cherished every moment with you. Even our arguments, I wouldn’t trade them for the world.” She said as she looked up at him and smile softly. “You are the best thing to happen to me, and whatever happens, I’ll always be with you.” Roxanne helped back any tears but her eyes became glassy and fearful. No matter how confident she was in front of everyone else, the shell opened up with Garrus to reveal the human side of her that feared.

 

“My words still stands Roxie. We’ll meet at the bar and if not, we’ll wait for each other.” He said, as he rested his head against hers and pulled her close to him. Roxanne put her arms around his waist, closing her eyes and taking a moment to enjoy the connection.

 

“Good, because I would be devastated if you didn’t want to meet there.” She said with a chuckle and relaxed against him. They would make it, they always have.


	14. Chapter 14

Each part of her sensed danger. Something didn’t feel right. She turned her eyes toward Liara and Garrus. She pointed to either side as she tapped at the omni-tool. There was no way to enter Fantasia directly, with all those people up there. Whether they were innocent or not was left in the air and so Roxanne didn’t want to go that way. Plus it was always possible Angel expected this. Then again she could expect this movement as well.

 

Roxanne felt in her bones that Angel knew what she was up to but that wasn’t about to stop her. She leaned against the wall as she turned just slightly to gaze down the hall. IT was dark and not a soul in sight. That’s why her radar was going on. Too quiet, too easy.

 

She pulled up her M-8 Avenger, holding the assault rifle with ease as she took the lead. Garrus flanked her left while Liara took the right as she scanned the area in front before moving forward. The sound of creaks and the hissing from the pipes as she moved up toward another corner. “Something isn’t right.” Roxanne whispered toward the other two as the moved into the corridors.

 

“No enemies, no distractions, nothing?” Roxanne added.

 

“You're right, there should be something. These positions are poor for any snipers or long range attacks either.” Garrus whispered as Roxanne leaned against the wall, peering around the corner and leaning back to gaze at the other two.

 

“Stay close, I don’t trust this place.” Roxanne said, as she placed her finger on her ear. “EDI, any idea?” She asked, as she moved forward down the dark room, her visor over her right eye activating the night vision so she could see where she was moving.

 

“Unfortunately I am having no luck hacking into this system. Either my hardware has not repaired since the events with the reapers, or they have an intricate system on different drives, give me time Commander I will have it in a few minutes.” EDI spoke as Roxanne stepped forward and then a rush of air slammed against her face as she found herself falling. Her hands gripped against her weapon as she used her feet to try and stall her fall but it twisted to the left. 

 

“Dammit!” Roxanne said, as she tried to focus her energy on her biotics to stall the gravity, but that’s when another panel open and she landed on her back which force the air out of her lungs. She gasp as she stared at the ceiling for a moment before coughing and leaning over. Spots formed over her eyes as she sat up and looked around the small room she was in. “Garrus, Liara, can you hear me?” She spoke up as she got on her hands and knees and forced herself to stand up.

 

“Easily, but I think staying closing isn’t going to happen anymore. I’m in some plain room.” Garrus grunted through their mikes.

 

“Same here Shepard, there also seems to be a nullifying to any biotic powers here. Weapons are our only option of use.” Roxanne looked around the room and saw a single blinking green light. She moved over toward it and pressed it carefully as the door open. 

 

“For now, keep moving forward, if anything happens, tell me immediately.”

 

“Roger that.” She heard the both say at the same time as she moved down the small hallway. Single red lights flash above her as if signalling danger which left Roxanne’s nerves on high. She held up her weapon as if expecting a krogan to come charging down the hall. Her finger was ready on the trigger as she felt the minutes moving on. 

 

The longer the minutes when on the more she felt like lowering her weapon which was enough to keep her weapon up and ready. Complacency was not an option and she had a feeling that was what Angel was trying to do. Get their guard down. No, Roxanne’s teeth clenched as she moved farther into the unknown without anyone guarding her back. For now, she was on her own. After an hour, she saw the open room as she stepped into it, a quick twist from the left to the right to ensure the room was clear. A slam caught her off guard as she turn around to see the door closed.

 

She moved to try and open it but only got a red flash error screen. “Dammit.” She growled as she moved toward what appear to be two screens that sizzled with no connection. The panel was small but enough to try and hack into maybe. “EDI?” She spoke up but there was nothing on the other end. “Garrus, Liara?” Once again there was silence as Roxanne slammed her fist onto the board.

 

“ANGEL!” She yelled at the top of her voice as she turned around staring at nothing. “I know you can hear me! What the hell game are you playing?” She didn’t expect an answer but her anger boiled over she turned and aimed her rifle at the other door that was closed and shot several shots at it with no luck. Not that she expected to get through but it was enough to blow off a little steam. She moved back toward the panel and began to press at it, trying to hack through it.

 

A small flash caught her eyes as she looked up to see one of the screens images fixing itself. Inside of the room was Liara who could get out of either door either. “Shepard, can you hear me?” Roxanne hear her speak through the screen as Roxanne touched her visor. 

 

“Liara, I can hear you. What’s your status?” She questioned but she got no answer. So she could hear them but they couldn’t hear her. She growled as she saw the other screen flash and the image of Garrus stuck in a room as well. What was this?

 

She put her weapon on her back holster as she stared at the screens for a moment. “There’s gotta be some function for this.” She spoke out loud to herself before the board sparked. 

 

“Welcome to Fantasia, survival mode!” A voice cooed over the system and dripping in sarcasm. Roxanne turned her face toward the sound as she threw her hands into a pair of fist. “Miss Roxanne, your task is simple. Get to the center and receive your price. The longer you wait, the less likely you are to gain what you wish. Take too long and others may pay the price. Make a decision, and lose a chance. What will you do? Turn your eyes to the screen.”

 

Roxanne didn’t want to do what they requested but it was Liara and Garrus. She faced them and placed her hands on the panels. Her eyes widen when she suddenly saw Liara’s room starting to shift and move ever so slowly. At the same time her eyes turned to focus on Garrus’ room as it started to fill with water.

 

“First clue. A smooth dance, a ball sport, a place to stay, an Asian country, and a girl's name. What is her name?” The voice echoed before Roxanne looked up at screens.

 

“What the fuck!” She growled. Roxanne hated riddles as she preferred the straight forward approach. Roxanne slammed her fist down against the panel as a bell dinged above.

 

“Oh sorry Miss Roxanne, that is not a correct answer.” She stood there focusing hard on the words. Her eyes watched as Liara’s room become even small and Garrus’ room was filled about a fourth of the way. She could see them working out their own plans, trying to find a way to stop their situations with no avail.

 

“A smooth dance, a ball sport, a place to stay, an Asian country, and a girl's name. What is her name?” Roxanne repeated to herself as she put her hand up to her face. At the same time she heard a click as her door open.

 

“Choice is yours Roxanne. Continue on and find the Angel or stay here and loose your chance.” Roxanne didn’t even have to think about that, she wasn’t going to leave her friends. 

 

“A smooth dance, a ball sport, a place to stay, an Asian country, and a girl's name. What is her name?” Once again she spoke out loud as her eyes shut tightly in aggravation.

 

“Wait, waltz, no, that doesn’t make sense. Tango, foxtrot? And damn ball sports, there’s so many of those. Goddamn these riddles!” She hissed and then paused.

 

“Foxtrot, Golf, Hotel, India, and Juliet. It's the damn codename. It's Juliet!” She yelled and she saw everything just stop. Slowly the water was draining out of the other room and Liara’s room returned back to normal. She sighed as she leaned against the panel her hand gripping them firmly. 

 

“Congratulations Miss Roxanne. Proceed to the next room. Get there quickly, before your companions run out of time.” The voice echoed and she saw everything shut down in the room she was in.

 

“NO!” She shouted and pulled out her weapon shooting the screen and panels. Afterward, her right hand pulled into a fist and slammed into the panel as she turned and ran toward the door. It slide open and she raced down the hall. However, she came to an intersection as she looked to the left and right.

 

“Miss Roxanne, each choice you make will set your companions course anew. Pick wrong and their time shortens just like their breath. You can continue on your course even if it's wrong, you may find the Angel in the end. But you will be alone in the end.” The echoing voice ran through the halls as Roxanne growled. She was getting pissed at the games this place was playing. She didn’t even know what was going on. She gazed at each one. Red, blue and green. EAch hall was a different color, as the lights glowed overhead. Her feet twisted toward the green hall on the right, as she ran down it. She slide to a stop as she saw a pair of lasers blocking the way and looked at the panel.

 

Her fingers slide over it as the lasers turned off but a small ding echoed. “Oh, Miss Roxanne, that course of action left a dazed and confused notion.” The stupid voice made Roxanne turn around

 

“Just shut up will you!” She shouted and pulled her feet across the threshold only for a panel to open up underneath her. She felt the air rush around her as she fell, grabbing the edge and holding on as she hear clashing metal beneath her feet. She look down as she saw what could be her doom easily. Thousand of small fans were activated and ready to rip a part anyone who fell into it. She struggled to hold on to the edge, as she forced herself upward, climbing out of the whole and taking a deep breath. She gasp for air and glanced down glad to have missed that fate. But that left her worried for her companions as she pushed herself to her feet. Quickly she returned back to where she started, and looked between the blue and red halls. Nothing told her which way to go, as she tilted her head from side to side. HEr feet turned to skid down the blue hall in the center, racing as fast as she could. 

 

Fear pounded against her heart as each minute passed. How long did they have? How fast was the system working against them? Had she triggered something by going the wrong way and trying to work past the lasers? “I’m going to kill her.” Roxanne spoke with dark intention on her lips and slide to a stop. A room was in front of her as she saw the screen. Garrus and Liara appeared to be in two rooms again, whether they had left the old rooms or still in the ones they had been she didn’t know. But she could see the worry in their eyes.

 

“Miss Roxanne. Ever heard of a trick room?” The voice echoed as the screens sparked and flashed before fire exploded from them. At the same time, fire light around the entire room and flared over the entryway she had came through. “Get some air, or they lose all of theirs.” She looked around and saw nothing that could help. Smoke began to billow above as she hissed. Trick room, how was this a trick room? Move forward she could easily continue on but her friends could die. That spot wasn’t blocked, but the way she had traveled through had. The heat cause sweat the surface along her brow as soaked against her body. 

 

“I’m not leaving my friends to die. Tempt me all you want!” She yelled, and ran toward the fire. The moment she stepped to jump through it it suddenly turned off and she rolled back into the hallway, and the door closed. However, what was set off left her scrambling to her feet. Several long spikes came out of the door and started to move at a fast rate toward her body. She got to her feet, running down the hall. But that trick didn’t seem to be enough for whoever this mad hatter was, as blocks popped out from the ground, and she had to vault over them. She found herself panting and looking over her shoulder as the blocks would drop so the spikes could keep moving closer toward her. 

 

She finally broke from the hall, looking over to the green hall. She felt her legs wanting to give out for a moment at the sprints but she refuse to stop. She twisted down the left hall, forcing herself to move as fast as she could. Before she realized the run turned into a freefall as she twisted to try and grab the edge of the floor. That failed as she slide down the edge, and what turned into a slide that swirled around before she slid into another room. HEr body hit the wall as she grunted in pain.

 

Several screens were on the wall as she could see Liara and Garrus struggling for air. She forced herself to her feet and walked over and saw the panel flashing. The single touch of her hand cause the voice to speak up.

 

“Miss Roxanne. You have a minute left before time runs out. First think of a person who lives in disguise, who deals in secrets and tells naught but lies. Next tell me what is always the last thing to mend, the middle of middle the end of the end? And finally give me a sound often heard during the search of a hard-to-find word. Now string them together and answer me this, which creature would you be unwilling to kiss?” The echo spoke another riddle as Roxanne grabbed her pistol and threw it against the wall.

 

HEr companions were suffering, Liara, Garrus. And here she was answering dumb riddles! She turned around and looked at the words on the panel, trying to understand the riddle.

 

“First think of a person who lives in disguise, who deals in secrets and tells naught but lies.” She whispered, and shook her head. “How am I to know! A liar? Ha, about about a jerk!” She yelled upward and then turned to stare at it. Secrets, lies. “Okay, okay.” She whispered to herself as she nodded.

 

“Spy, okay, that might work. Next tell me what is always the last thing to mend, the middle of middle the end of the end? I don’t fucking know.” She said, as her eyes turned toward the screen and pain etched over her face in fear. “Middle of middle and the end of the end. middle, end, wait, d!” Panic filled her voice as she spoke these words, and finally looked over the last part.

 

“Uhhh, um, um. Err..” she paused in her thoughts and started laughing. “Er! And mashed together. Spy, d, er, SPIDER!” The moment she spoke, everything shut down again.

 

“NO, NO, I ANSWER YOUR DAMN RIDDLE!” Roxanne yelled as she slammed her fist onto the panel. “What happened! Where is my team!”

 

“Oh no, Miss Roxanne. You don’t get to know until you go to the last room!” The voice echoed and then shut off. Roxanne felt fear grasping at her heart. Her hand reached up to pull out her dog tags, staring at the ring. They couldn’t be dead, they couldn’t. She did it, she fixed it! But the last images she saw on the screen was the two of them laying down in their rooms limp and unmoving. Roxanne tucked her chain back into her suit and moved down the hall. HEr feet moved slowly this time, as there was no rush, at least not that she knew. The green lights glowed like a beacon above leading her toward her fate. Her feet moved with ease before she saw only darkness in the room.

 

“Hello Babe.” That voice. Suddenly the room filled with light as she lifted up her arm and shielded her eyes but she couldn’t forget that voice. 

 

Her lips pursed together before lowering her arm down and staring at Finch. “I’ve told you not to call me that.” Roxanne demanded as she heard the door shut behind her. 

 

“Ah, no fun as usual. The Alliance really killed her personality, didn’t they?” He asked. Roxanne, though, was already sizing him up. He had a weapon in his hand, a high powered rifle, what she assumed was a semi-automatic much like her own. She crossed her arms and shook her head.

 

“Oh, I still have it, you just don’t deserve to see it. Now, get out of my way.” Roxanne demanded as Finch laughed.

 

“Nay, I don’t think so. I think we have unfinished business, don’t you think?” Out of nowhere, he lifted up the weapon and shot several rounds straight toward Roxanne. She had already prepared for such a move though as she ducked behind a wall that had suddenly popped up and shook her head. 

 

“You're goddamn room of tricks is pissing me off!” Roxanne yelled as she pulled her pistol from her hip, turning off the safety and holding it in her right hand.

 

“Enough talk, show me what you're made of!” Finch said as Roxanne heard the shift and several parts of the wall began to pop out and around. Cover all over. She felt like she was back in the Armax Arsenal Arena playing one of their games. But she knew this was going to be a bit different. She closed her eyes briefly, before opening again with determination. Worse of all, Roxanne felt a darkness creeping against her heart. She wanted to kill him, for making her suffer, for making them all suffer. 

 

Twisting around she put her pistol on the edge of the block and aimed it toward Finch who ducked beneath another area. She focused her eyes and kept a look on the shadow as he moved, shifting herself before firing a shot. IT was done on purpose as Finch came over the cover and she aimed another shot at him. She never missed but Finch quickly ducked behind the cover just in time as she did as well. She took this moment to take her assault weapon from her back, quickly getting it ready when her feet jerked out from under her.

 

The room was moving!? She quickly moved against the block but she could stay there as she moved toward the side only to get tossed against the far left wall that was becoming the floor. Finch’s laughter echoed against her ear as she quickly recovered and bullets aimed toward her. She shifted behind another blockage as she took a deep breath. His shots reflected off her shield but she could see they had dropped by eighty percent. She pushed her lips together as she realized he knew that would happen. 

 

She was done playing, her weapon in hand, she stood up and laid down a line of suppressive fire all around Finch’s area of cover. She watched Finch’s body stand up and without hesitation Roxanne dropped her weapon and ran toward him. The shots reflected off her shield giving her enough to to wrap her arms around his waist and blowed into him like a bull dozer. She slammed him against the wall as his weapon flew out of his arms. AS the landed on the ground, the room started to twist again and she rolled with him toward the next platform.

 

Once the room was stable Roxanne sat up and slammed her fist into Finch’s face. They moved from weapons to hand to hand combat as Roxanne saw Finch cover and use his leg to kick at her side. She twisted away as she reached around for the knife on her waist. She flipped it in her hand as she saw Finch doing the exact same thing.

 

“There she is, the same Roxie I remember. The desperate need to survive. You still remember my training.” Finch grinned as he held out a knife as well. 

 

“Shut up!” She hissed as she slashed at him and he jumped back, evading the move that moved toward his waist. Finch went to jab the his own knife toward Roxanne’s side as she kicked his arm away, using that moment to slash at his arm and made contact. She saw the blood dripping from the gash and the blood against her blade. The two shifted around in a circle like two wolves fighting for territory.

 

Roxanne flipped the knife over to face his in an identical movement as Finch and went to jab at him. His left hand parried her away as he used the momentum to stab her. She shifted but not quick enough as it pierced her left side and she clenched her teeth tightly together. She grabbed her visor and threw it to the side as a wild look appear against her eyes.

 

“There’s my Angel of Darkness. Fight me.” Roxanne didn’t say a work as Finch taunted her. She twisted around, a pivot to his right side as she slammed her knife into his side, before pulling back quickly and putting both arms up. The blood seeped from his wound, covering the white room as she glared toward him. 

 

As Finch raced toward her, she pivoted again, parrying his attack that came straight toward her chest, her right arm knocking him away. She flipped her knife to point to the side ready to slash near him again. The pain ached against her side as she forced it to the back of her mind and ran toward Finch. Both knifes hit each other as they leaned against each other's attack. Finch held a determined gaze, all too content with the situation. Roxanne didn’t know why he was enjoying this but she had no time for talk. All she could think of was how he nearly hurt her friends, how he wanted to kill them, and how he kept betraying her.

 

She let out a yell as she forced him back, feeling a sting as she looked at her arm. A long red line dripped with blood as he had caught her in her beserked state. That was enough to set off the rage, as her eyes boiled. She shifted from the side, slashing at the wound she made on his right flank as she took a crazy notion. 

 

Roxanne slipped in front of him as he moved to stab her. She made a quick second reaction to allow the blade to stab into her right forearm as she screamed in pain, but she use that pain and momentum to force Finch onto his back, her blade slashed against his throat before she realized what she had done. At that moment the blood poured from his neck as she stared at the smile.

 

“Always my angel,” He coughed, the blood spitting from his mouth. “You were mine first.” He whispered before the blood poured from his lips and his eyes rolled back. She sat there for a moment, before she scrambled off of him at the realization of what she had done. She sat on her hind legs and the pain in her arm came alive again. She reached over and ripped the knife out of her arm as she cut off the scream and threw the knife to the side. 

 

“ANGEL, DO YOU HEAR ME!” Roxanne shouted as she stood up, holding her right forearm. “Your damn games will end. If my friends are dead, I will kill you without mercy!” She yelled as moved toward hall. Her feet moved against any pain she had as she stumbled into another room. HEr feet stumbled as she fell down and she could see the blood dripping from her wounds onto the ground.

 

Her eyes fluttered closed as she paused for a moment. The darkness called out to her, begging her to go to sleep. But she forced her eyes open as she turned and pulled herself onto her feet. Her fingers pressed against the panel board, looking for any sort of open key. She lost her communication device back at the other fight, so she was on her own.

 

Finally she got to the information to the rooms. No information but a way to open the doors. She slammed her fist onto it as she knew the rooms had to be open. She didn’t  care about what happened to her, she was determined to get their bodies back. Their deaths were her fault. Tears pooled around her eyes as she felt herself choking up. Garrus and Liara, she failed them. She knew she had to do this on her own, she didn’t care if they knew what they were signing up for, she should have known better! These people wouldn’t play fair, and now she was paying the price for it.

 

Her arm reached up to rub around her eyes, the tears running down her cheeks. “Why, WHY!” She screamed as she crumbled onto the floor. She leaned back against the panel as she reached for her small pocket of medigel. She put the salve over her wounds, as the fast acting material started to cover up the wound and fight back any infection that might have festered in the last few minutes. 

 

“Garrus, I’m sorry. I wasn’t strong enough. I swear, I will avenged you.” She spoke to herself as she pulled her weapons from her waist and her back. She examined each weapon, ignoring the pain and heartache, pushing it all back to her mind. Whatever she felt would have to wait. She stood up, and looked at the puddle of blood on the floor. Her blood, it would work. She slipped her finger into it as she closed her eyes visually Garrus’ smile but more so she focused upon the face paint. 

 

While visualizing his face her finger moved from the right side of her cheek bone, over her nose and to the left side of her cheek. Then she took the finger down the side of her cheek and along her jaw, stopping just inches from her chin and doing the same on the other side. Vengeance cover her thoughts.

 

Her eyes narrowed as she put her weapons back on her back and on her hip holster, and moved down the hall. She would find who she needed. She would kill everyone and she wouldn't even think twice. And then she would find her friends and return them home.


	15. Chapter 15

Roxanne lifted up her weapon as she shot down person after person who aimed a weapon straight at her. Her shots were dead on, determined to move through this area without anything stopping her. The music based drowned out the background as she didn’t shot anyone who didn’t aim a weapon at her. She still had the values of innocents and directed them immediately to leave.

 

She shifted her weapon as she used her last thermal clip and took the butt of the weapon and rammed it directly into someone’s face and knocking them unconcious. She threw her weapon down and pulled out her pistol. Her eyes looked upward as she could see the neon red room above looking over Fantasia’s dance hall. She leaned against the entrance as she counted several other men and women preparing for her onslaught. She flicked her hand as she found her biotics quite strong.

 

With her aim true, she threw it directly into the middle of the room as the zero graffiti affected everyone. Without a thought or care she pulled around the corner and her pistol shot each enemy down one by one in their helpless state. She threw her pistol straight at the VIP room overlooking the area as Roxanne yelled.

 

“I don’t care where you hide!” She yelled, as she flicked both her hands out to her side and the glowing biotics appears as she threw them to either side as a few men popped out from behind their covered. They didn’t stand a chance against her biotics as she stood there and her eyes narrowed.

 

Angel was wasting lives, throwing them at Roxanne as she focused on the adrenaline driving her forward. Nothin else matter. Nothing else at all.

 

“What has happened to the poor Alliance commander? What happened to that champion. To me, you look like a little outlaw, aren’t you? A Renegade.” The sicking voice of Angel announced over the system as Roxanne’s hands curled into fist.

 

“I’m done playing your games. Face me you coward!” Roxanne demanded as she saw the silhouette of the woman in the VIP room. The red around her made her look demonic as if standing in fire. Roxanne’s eyes narrowed on her, refusing to let her out of her sight now. 

 

“You truly are a sight, you know that? Look at how you just bulldoze through all those people. You could be such an asset!” Angel spoke calmly as if trying to reason with her. This only caused Roxanne’s teeth to grind together as she did her best to keep herself from outright losing it. She needed to see this person, she needed to see her face and make sure she paid for the damage she caused. “And might I add, I love your face paint. It's so….rememberable, isn’t it?”

 

“Tell that to my face.” Roxanne retorted, poison dripping from her tongue as she pointed her finger up toward the shadow. “Your minions don’t stand a chance against me, not even Finch.” Her voice calmed but the anger on it didn’t fade.

 

“Finch was expendable but oh so satisfying to watch you fight again. How did it feel to slit his throat, to feel his blood against your hands? Tell me, didn’t you feel it? That desire to do whatever you wanted without consequence? You are a spectre, aren’t you? You don’t have to follow any rules, you can do as you want when you want.”

 

Slowly, Roxanne closed her eyes. Her fingers curled into a fist as he tried to ignore what the woman spoke of. But she couldn’t deny that she wanted Finch dead, she wanted them all dead because those she cared about most were gone. “HE deserved what he got, and you will get worse!” Roxanne shouted as her eyes opened with a fire blazing against them.

 

And then she started to laugh which caused Roxanne’s to take a deep breath and the tension against her neck pulsed. “My dear, you truly shined tonight. This is what I wanted, this Angel of Darkness. You have returned home and finally took your name back. Look at how you have fallen, our Fallen Angel.” Roxanne fingers curled into her fist and relaxed again, trying not to let her words affected her but then she saw the window going dark and sliding open.

 

“Roxanne, come home.” She spoke as the light suddenly blazed and Roxanne covered her eyes from the sensitive change in spectrum. She lowered her arm as she looked up as the woman jumped down. Her blond hair bounced around her shoulders and Roxanne stared in shock.

 

“Kyna?” Disbelief rested on her lips as she stumbled backwards for a moment. “Kyna, but, no! this is a trick, they are making you do this aren’t they?” Roxanne couldn’t understand this. Of all people, she had left with her. Why did she return and cause this chaos!

 

“Simple. I played you. I left only to realize how wrong I was. So instead of returning, I did more. I started gathering followers of my own, and once we were strong enough we took over. But it wasn’t complete, because you were the only one who had deserted safely. You needed to return, either return or die. The choices are simple really. We have to have an example, people can just leave and no consequence happen. So that’s why we are here now. You have a few decisions to make and then we have to deal with the other problems at hand.” Roxanne stared at Kyna as she spoke so calmly.

 

Her eyes trailed after her as Kyna walked toward her, and placed a hand on her shoulder. “How does it feel to lose your alien friends?” She hissed against Roxanne’s ears and Roxanne glared and shoved her hands against her chest.

 

“SHUT UP!” She said as she went to her weapon and that’s when Roxanne paused as he heard the clicks of several other weapons above and Kyna laughed. 

 

“Oh no, not yet. I still have things to do Roxanne, we aren’t done talking.” Roxanne rolled her eyes as she shifted her arms to cross in front of her and leaned on her hip.

 

“Then talk. I’m getting bored and tired of this shit.” Roxanne said, doing her best not to lose it and just shot her down. Her death wasn’t what she was worried about now, but it was losing the chance to kill Kyna that did. 

 

“You see, the game isn’t over with just yet. Aliens can’t be allowed to live on earth, see? Humans, this is the human planet and we are superior to all those other races. We should be the ones in charge! So you get a nice little decision.” Roxanne growled, as she unfolded her arms and put them down to her side.  “And then there is your biotics. That’s just not human, you gave yourself away to be experimented on. You're just, a tool. But we can work with that, we’ll find some way to make it work.” Kyna said as Roxanne shook her head.

 

“I’m not joining you. I never will. You know me Kyna, I’m a stubborn ass woman. I make a decision and I don’t turn back.” Roxanne closed her eyes and threw her fist down into the ground. The sizzle of her biotic power exploded around the room, causing a massive blast. Afterward she twisted the weapon from her holster on her back, and firing around the top walls, her eye zoned in on each person she had stunned and shooting them all down. Afterwards she turned and faced down Kyna who also had a weapon pointed at her.

 

“Ah, this is such a pity. Your an amazing asset, don’t you realize that? You could be so much more. Now you are just nothing.”The poison on Kyna’s lips caused Roxanne to flare up her strength.

 

“NO! I was more! I had everything! You took it all away for your petty notion in thinking I would join you! I won’t, it would dishonor those I’ve saved, and those I lost.” She felt her heart skip a beat in pain as she forced those thoughts back. She would have time to mourn once she completed this task

 

“Oh, oh, you thought! This is beautiful! You truly fell so far off the spectrum that you are so far clouded with the desire to kill that you didn’t think there was a chance they could still be alive.” Kyna laughed with a twisted demeanor before she whistled. Roxanne paused in the moment to fire as the woman was doing something.

 

A side panel opened up suddenly and two bodies were shoved into the center of the room. Roxanne’s disbelief made her slowly drop her weapon to the side as she stared. Garrus and Liara were slowly standing up, looking exhausted but alive. Her thought process had stalled as she realized what she had done. Her eyes turned back toward Kyna and narrowed.

 

“Let them go.” She demanded as she saw Kyna holding a weapon up toward them.

 

“Why? They are a disease upon the earth. You of all people should understand. The reapers were a disease and you destroyed them. Now the aliens are next and we will start the destruction of those races. And I think these two will be the first of the conquest.” Roxanne threw down her other weapons and put her arms up. 

 

“Stop, Kyna, now! I’ll do anything just, leave them alone.” Everything was a shock to Roxanne, they were still alive, Kyna was the leader of the Tenth Street Reds, and here she was a single person brought down to the darkest end of the world. But nothing matter to her at the moment, all she wanted to do was ensure the safety of her comrades. 

 

“I’ve seen how you flaunt around this one.” Kyna turned her gun straight to Garrus’ head as he narrowed his eyes. Roxanne took a quick step forward as Kyna put her hand up toward her and her finger ready on the trigger. “Tsk, don’t do anything or I will shot.” Just as quickly as she was ready to move, Roxanne stopped and stood still.

 

“More ways of how you betrayed humanity. Don’t worry though, we’ll fix that.” Roxanne already knew what was going to happen and she wasn’t about to stand around and let this happen. Roxanne shot off toward Liara and Garrus, as she used the ability to form a protective shield around the two of them. The thermal rounds hit off the barrier and directly hit her right shoulder as Roxanne cringed in pain. But Garrus was safe. 

 

At the same moment she dropped, she sed the moment to kick her free weapons toward the two. Roxanne released the barrier as she turned to see Kyna running off. “No you don’t!”

 

Roxanne twisted around to grab a pistol that was on the ground and got up to chase after the woman. Not this far, not this close. She had threaten everything she cared for, everything she was. This had to come to an end!

 

She breezed past the hallway, lifting up her gun and firing several shots down the hall with no luck in hitting her. That was until she heard a yell from the distance and had a small grin on her lips. Now there was a trail of red droplets of blood on the ground. If she lost her she could follow that.

 

“Get back here!” She shouted as she vaulted herself over a shelf that had fallen on the ground, twisting to find a set of stairs. Where the hell was she going? Roxanne steady her breathing as she climbed up the flight of stairs, turning over to see a large room. The VIP room overlooking the room. But that’s not where she had been, instead she turned and saw her heading out another door. Roxanne moved around the tables and toward the center door that closed, slamming the panel so the door opened up and she ran down the hallway. A few shots were fired in Roxanne’s directions, barely avoiding them thanks to the running before she saw the panel shut again.

 

The moment she slide toward the door, it opened and she looked inside the room. IT was huge, a main operation room as she saw Kyna in the center holding up her weapon. Several rounds fired at Roxanne as she dropped her body into a roll, landing behind a counter.

 

“This is as far as you get Roxanne. I’m done playing games.” Kyna hissed as Roxanne took a deep breath.

 

“Good, cause I am too. Let’s finish this!” Roxanne stood up and pointed the weapon at Kyna. She moved toward her slowly, as Kyna mirrored her movements.

 

“How does it feel, to know you can kill me out of cold blood right now? It doesn’t matter what happens here. In the end, I win.” Kyna laughed cruelly at Roxanne as she narrowed her eyes at her. She thought hard about it, how she had allowed herself to be manipulated. From the day she joined the gang, she was always manipulated, thinking she had to kill or destroy to belong.

 

She dug deep into her heart as she focused on something else. A small flicker of light. Roxanne could hear Garrus talking, the memory of him accepting her for who she was, that she was a hero. “No, no you haven’t.” Roxanne said as she sat up and threw her weapon to the side of the room.

 

“I’m not going to kill you. I won’t give you the satisfaction of that. I am who I am. The angel of Darkness, The savior of the Citadel, the hero of the galaxy. You didn’t make me that, I did. I changed because I wanted to. I will not let you dictate who I am anymore!” Roxanne yelled back toward her, as she kicked off her feet.

 

Kyna’s anger glowed against her eyes as she fired several rounds at Roxanne, as she pulled up a barrier, as they landed against her body causing Roxanne to feel the aching pain in her body. But she still pulled her left arm back and slammed it into Kyna’s face. Her body stumbled but Kyna also fell backwards as Roxanne took her right fist and slammed it into her stomach. 

 

However, hre body stumbled as she fell onto the ground. She sat there, breathing harshly as she felt herself barely able to handle it. “I am Commander Shepard, and you will never change me.” She whispered to herself as she felt the point of a weapon against her forehead.

 

“Glad you know that Roxanne, because it's your last tho--,” Her silence caught her off guard as she opened her tired eyes to look at Kyna falling backwards, her blank eyes open with a single wound in the center of her head. The thud filled her pounding ears as Roxanne shook her head.

 

She put her hand on the ground, trying to stand up but instead her body fell to the ground and instead of feeling the cold ground meeting her face instead someone had caught her. Roxanne opened her eyes, small spots glowing against her eyes and focusing on the sapphire color she saw. A few blinks and she realized that Garrus had caught her.

 

“You're alive.” Her lips pulled into a smile as she slowly reached up and touched his face. “You're alive, thank god. I thought you were de--”

 

“Save your strength.” He interrupted her as he was pulling something from his side. Roxanne could see the exhaustion on his face, as she shook her head.

 

“No, I need you to know. I’m sorry, I not who you all thought I was.” She whispered as her mind spun with so many words but she knew she couldn’t keep this up much longer. The blood lost she had and the wounds were slowly creeping up on her and reminding her it was time.

 

“Roxanne, what are you talking about? You are only human, in the end you did the right thing. I shot her, not you. No one talks to my wife like that.” He said with a smile as he was applying the medi gel to her wounds. “Now, don’t you dare give up on me, okay? These are just little cuts, you’ll be up in no time.” Garrus said but she could see the worry on his face.

 

“EDI, we need help, now.” Garrus said before Roxanne smiled up toward him.

 

“I love you Garrus, I always will.” She spoke softly as she felt the spinning against her head.

 

“Roxanne, dammit, don’t you give up!” Garrus growled in frustration as she lowered her arm down around her waist. She allowed her eyes to close slowly, keeping him in her sights for as long as she possible could but she couldn’t beat the overwhelming exhaustion she felt. She leaned in against him and her mind caved into the blackness.


	16. Chapter 16

Every once and awhile, Roxanne swore she could hear something. The sounds of beeps, or the buzzing of a vid. She couldn’t exactly focus on it, as she was too exhausted. Instead, she lingered in her dream world instead. It was quiet, dark, filled with silence. But it was missing something, something truly dear to her heart. A times that missing component would be filled for a moment, as she sense the warmth of something filling her, a soft touch but then it would disappear.

 

Finally her eyes opened up to stare at the ceiling. The lights were dimmed enough as she turned her head just barely to stare out the window. She could see the sun setting in the distance over rolling green hills. Without thinking she went to move to stand up but she cringed in pain as it moved all over her body. “Damn,” She whispered in a hoarse voice as she turned back.

 

She felt like she had just woken up from the attack of the reapers all over again, but this recovery stung more. IT wasn’t just her body, it was her heart. For a moment she had given up, thinking her time was done and seeing Garrus for the last time.

 

Had she really tried to give up? No, it wasn’t that she had given up, it was more relief. Relief that she knew who she was. Yes, she had done bad things in the past but she had risen above that. She wouldn’t give into Kyna. In the end, she wasn't even the one who took her life. A sound caught her ear as she saw Garrus walking through the door. 

 

The container in his hand fell to the ground, echoing in the room as he moved quickly to her side.

 

“You're awake!” He spoke with such haste, sitting down in the chair and carefully touching her hand. “By the spirits, Roxanne, you had me worried.” He said, carefully moving a claw up to brush her hair out of her face.

 

“Why?” Roxanne said, trying to move her arm and even with the extent of the pain and soreness ignored it and touched his. 

 

“You nearly died three times. You were poisoned, it had filled your blood stream. The doctors were sure you were even going to make it.” Roxanne realized at that moment why Garrus’ reacted in the fashion of surprise. She was not used to that and now it made sense. Whatever had happened with her first recovery was nothing like this. It was worse. She reached over to try and lift up her gown but he placed his clawed hand on top of hers. 

 

“Everything’s fine now. Though you’ll have several new scars to add to your collection now.” The soft voice of Garrus trying to joke didn’t pass by Roxanne. She could see the fear in his eyes, something she didn’t see often. They had run into many suicide missions before, but this was different. She couldn’t put her finger on what it was yet but she reached up to, ignoring the pain in her shoulder and she touched his face.

 

“Garrus?” She said and tried to lift herself up only to groan and lean back down. As if reading her mind, Garrus leaned down and she was able to kiss him. It was gentle, soft, but she tried to let her emotions flow into it. “I will never doubt you again.”

 

A small smile moved over Garrus’ lips. “You never doubted me Roxanne. You doubted yourself.” Carefully, he placed his forehead down against hers as a silence rolled over the room. She closed her eyes as she knew he was right. “But in the end you fought, like you always do. You would make any Turian jealous with the strength and conviction in your heart.”

 

“I think we need a vacation.” She whispered and she could hear a chuckle on his lips. That made her beam with a smile as she looked at him. 

 

“Um, Roxanne, wasn’t this our vacation? Our vacations never go according to plan.” He said, as Roxanne tried to shrug only to groan and cursed under her breath.

 

“Yeah, well, we need to fix that. Wait,” She paused and turned to look at him. “Is Liara okay?” A hint of panic came over her lips as Garrus leaned up and placed his hand carefully on her hand.

 

“We are all okay. You had the worse. You’ve been out for nearly two months now.” Garrus said and Roxanne lips parted in shock.

 

“Two...months?” Disbelief floated on her lips as she turned to stare at the ceiling. 

 

“The poison was deadly. You were in a coma and there was nothing we could do. I should be going to tell a doctor now you are awake, but this, I can’t just leave and not talk.” He said, as he couldn’t let go of her hand.

 

“They can wait, I just want you by my side. I don’t know what I would do without you.” She said, as she wrapped her hand around his, holding it close and unwilling to let him go. She wanted to wrap her arms around him, to pull him close and to just hold him. But for now that was all she could do. “You know, for all the advancement in technology and medicine, you think they find a way to have me up and walking out of bed by now!” She stated and they both chuckled.

 

“Cerberus brought you back from the dead, I’m pretty sure the world will figure something out in a few years.” He grinned as kissed her cheek. “But if you want, we can see if we can get everything moved back to your house instead. Besides, I prefer that then this stuffy hospital.” Garrus said, never a fan of hospitals anyway. Roxanne smiled and nodded.

 

“I would like that, yes.”

 

“Then I will be take over as your doctor while we are there.” A voice caught Roxanne’s ear as she looked over to Dr. Chakwas.

 

“Well, Well, I wasn’t expected to see you here!” The laugh from Roxanne’s lips cut short as it hurt to do so with the pain against her ribcage and chest.

 

“I wouldn’t laugh Commander Shepard, you’ve been through quite a bit. But I will see to the preparations and movement. You had us all scared there for a moment. You do have a way of pulling close calls Commander.” The woman said but she smiled and turned around to leave.

 

“Thanks.” She whispered before looking to Garrus. “Garrus, wait…” She carefully reached around her neck, as she realized her dog tags were missing along with her ring.

 

As if reading her mind he reached into a pocket and pulled them out. Roxanne had a sigh of relief over her heart as she saw him opening up the palm of her hand and placing the items in it. “Like I would let you lose these. Now just rest. I’m going to go help Dr. Chakwas with the transfer.” Garrus said as he leaned over and pressed his lips against her forehead as she closed her eyes, allowing the touch to fill her up. Afterward she watched him leave as the door parted only to close behind him.

 

Pressing her head backwards, she stared up at the ceiling again. Her fingers wrapped around her dog tags, before her thumb ran over the top of her ring. A sure smile pressed against her lips as she felt content for the first time in a long time. Even in the hospital room, she didn’t have to worry.

 

Days turned into weeks, and Roxanne finally found the strength she needed to get out of bed. The damage done had really taken a turn against her body, and even the implants she had from Cerberus weren’t working so well against whatever happened. 

 

But she was walking and that was all she cared up. She stood in her room, ignoring all the ivs, monitors, and machines behind her. She was getting tired of being stuck in her room and she just needed to get out. However, she stood there for a moment in front of a mirror as her fingers moved over her right shoulder, down along the left side of her waist, and then to her right leg. The stab wounds had healed but the scarring was there. Then the three bullet wounds in her right shoulder near her collarbone was prominent as well. 

 

Instead of sadness, a smirk just crossed over her lips. More stories to add to the list of scars she had. She reached over toward her dresser, but found she was as sore as before and could barely even handle pulling a shirt on much less going for a run.

 

“Roxanne, you're not planning on going to a shooting range are you?” The rich voice caught her ear as she turned around to smile at Garrus. 

 

“Me, nooo, never.” She grinned as she saw him shaking his head.

 

“Course you are, and sadly I must be the voice of reason and tell you no. Even though I wouldn’t mind it, but I rather not get the doctor mad. She gives me dextro-turian chocolate.” Roxanne immediately starting laughing only to wrap her arms around her stomach.

 

“Ow, ow, but jeez Garrus. Of all people you're scared of, its Dr. Chakwas.” She couldn’t help but find amusement in this as she reached over to open her drawer and pulled out a plan black tank top and some jeans.

 

“Um, don’t tell anyone this, but I need your help getting dress.”

 

“Oh no, the great Commander shepard can’t get her shirt on.” Garrus joked as Roxanne slapped the back of her hand against his chest

 

“Shush you.” She said as she took her bra and linked the clasp on in front of her chest before giving the shirt to Garrus. She pushed her lips together and ignored the pain as she tried to put her arm through and he helped get it over her head and over her other arm. Afterward, she pulled it down the front of her chest as he pulled the part in the back down. “Thanks.” She said, as she looked at her jeans and groaned. 

 

“Now I’m wondering if I just want to stay in bed.” Garrus leaned over her, careful with her as he leaned against her ear.

 

“You're going to get bored and do this yourself and get hurt, so I think we’ll do this now while I’m here to help.” Roxanne rolled her eyes, knowing he was right as he pulled out a pair of pants.

 

“The worse part about these developing scars, I can’t bend over. I swear my whole body is going to erupt into flames because it hurts. Again, don’t tell anyone that.”Roxanne said, as she grabbed the dresser and slipped one of her legs into the pants and then the other as arrus helped her out.

 

“You know, I don’t mind getting you dress. Its making it easier to work with your clothes and not tearing them apart. Not that I’ve seen you complain when that happens.” Garrus teased more as Roxanne grinned.

 

“Hey, I like seeing a man ripped into my clothes. Nothing more hot then an eager Turian.” Even though she knew Garrus couldn’t blush she swore she saw the heat rising against his face.

 

“Damn, Roxie, I don’t even know what to come back at that with. I think I’m rusty and out of practice.”

 

“I’m sure you need some practice shooting too.”

 

“Wait, are we talking about something else now?” Garrus questioned confused and Roxanne started laughing as she button up her pants, ignoring the itching pain in her abdomen as she did so.

 

“Okay, I really need to stop laughing. It hurts so much.” Garrus reached into her closet and pulled out her leather jacket, helping it onto her shoulders and then allowed his hand to wrap around hers. “Are you sure about this? It can wait another day if you're not ready.”

 

“Garrus, I haven’t been more ready in my life. I want some fresh air, and besides, I want you to see the more quiet side of Ireland. Plus, it's an awesome shooting range if we want to do that one day.” She said with a smirk and carefully moved out of her room. She could see Dr. Chakwas glancing up behind a book and looking at her

 

“Any troubles, don’t you hesitate to call Commander Shepard.” She said and Roxanne waved her hand.

 

“I’m sure one of us will.” She grinned, glancing at Garrus who gave a small shrug, not at all denying he would. Roxanne followed Garrus as he took her to one of the sky cars, taking her hand and helping her into it and then climbing on the other side. Afterward, the car shot off, as Roxanne leaned back in the seat, feeling sore already from the minor walk from her room to the outside but she couldn’t help but enjoy the fact that she was out.

 

It had been a month since she had left her room, three months since it happened. To her, it still felt like yesterday and she just wanted some freedom away from it all. A place where that wouldn’t be on her mind and where she could just focus on the two of them. Without thinking her fingers pulled out her dog tags, grabbing her ring and twisting it around her finger. Her thumb ran over the sapphires as she watched as the buildings starting to become fewer and fewer until there was grass and countryside. 

 

After about an hour, the car hover down and landed on the ground as Roxanne smiled over to Garrus. His eyes was taking in everything, admiring what he saw. “Wait til I show you the real view.” She added as she hit the button and the doors moved up and out of the way. Gingerly, she climbed out of the vehicle, pulling her bottom lip into her teeth to ignore the pain of the movement from bending as Garrus was by her side and taking her hand.

 

His arm reached around and held her left side careful as she wrapped her right arm around his waist and walked slowly but eagerly. “This is what I love about Ireland.” She said quietly, as they stood at the edge of a cliff.

 

The ocean waves crashed against the rocky surface below like a war drum, with the light of the day glistening over the water surface. She gazed at how it swallowed the world whole, calm and yet always moving. The crisp breeze flew through her hair, causing her red locks to dance around behind her free from any restrictions. The flavor of the salt water filled her nose as she leaned up against Garrus taking a moment to just lose herself in the motion of the world. For a moment she forgot about everything. About the ever changing world, about the Alliance, about the death and mayhem that had just happened a short few months ago.

 

Instead she focused upon the lullaby of the ocean, breathing in the cool drafts of wind that carried the ocean on it. “This is amazing Roxanne. IT reminds me of a place on Palaven. I’ll have to take you there one day. It's a cliffside much like this that overlooks a massive ocean, but our water is more of a silvery blue than this.” He spoke and Roxanne smiled.

 

“From what I’ve heard, your entire world is silver.” Garrus grinned toward her as he looked back out.

 

“Maybe. I have so many places I want to show you though.” Garrus added as she nodded and did her best to lean up to kiss his cheek.

 

“I would like that.” She said, as she slowly let go of im and carefully tried to sit down. However, Garrus took her arm and helped her as she had a small chuckled.

 

“I had it, I just had a small pain in her leg, that’s all.”

 

“Of course. But let’s make sure the boyfriend doesn’t freak out.” He added and Roxanne turned toward him

 

“Actually, it's fiance now.” She beamed from ear to ear, all to happy to think about that. “You know, I’m not the best at planning things. I mean, military I got you, but a wedding?”

 

“Believe it or not, Miranda offered to do it.”

 

“Wait, Miranda? As in Miranda Lawson?” She said with a raised eyebrow and Garrus chuckled.

 

“AFter she found out she was all too keen to help out. Hope you're prepared for that.” Roxanne groaned as she pulled her arms up and covered her face.

 

“She’s never going to let this down. I’m not wearing a big poofy dress. There’s no way in hell I’m going to!” She said to herself, though she doubted Miranda would even dare think about doing that. She couldn't help but smile though, she was glad to know her friends wanted to help out, and if there was one thing Miranda was good at, it ws planning. “Well, that marks that off. Are you ready for that?”

 

“Is that even a question Shepard?” Garrus said, as he took her hand and kiss the top of it. “I’m ready for anything. Specially with you. And you know,” He said, turning back out to look at the ocean. “I think we should have it right here. What do you think?” He said, as Roxanne turned to look out at the Ocean. The waves crashed against the cliff below, echoing against her ears as she allowed it to fill them with music.

 

“I would love it. This is perfect. Something small, just our friends. They are the closest thing I have to family, and then your family when we go to Palaven for the other version.” She paused for a moment, as she looked over toward him. “You know, I never thought about it but would your family even approve of a human?” She questioned with a curious notion.

 

“Roxanne, you saved Palaven, you saved my family. Any Turian would be damn lucky to take you as a bondmate. I’m sure you could outshoot any turian and your biotics are no trifle to mess with. You will make the Vakarian family proud, and even if they didn’t approve, I don’t care. I was never one for following the rules anyway. So whether they approve or not, I’m still going to marry you.” Garrus said as Roxanne smirked.

 

“I can even outshot you Garrus.” She chuckled and Garrus tilted his head.

 

“Hey now, that shot on the Citadel was a lucky shot. I’m still the best sniper out there you will ever find.” Garrus beamed and Roxanne chuckled. She took a deep breath and leaned against him again. The two turned to silence, jst watching the waves fluid movement danced around before them. Roxanne’s green eyes took the moment to just relax, glad to be out breathing the fresh air and thinking about what she had. Her fingers squeezed his hand more, as if a single reminder that she was alive, he was alive, and they would have a life together no matter where they were.


	17. Chapter 17

With a swift movement, Roxanne pinched her wrist before shaking it at the little slight of pain. Yep, this was real. Her arms were crossed as she stared in the window, blinking a few times. Was this, was she… Yes. Yes she was. 

 

“Shepard, what are you doing standing outside?” Miranda asked as she stood in the doorframe of the shop and tilted her head inside. “All you have to do is walk inside, it's as easy as shooting a target.”

 

“Oh no, this isn’t that easy. This is trying on dresses, much different.” Roxanne said with a raised eyebrow. The idea of dressing in and out of dresses didn’t seem like fun to her but she did have to admit, she wanted a nice dress for the event. Besides, it wasn’t everyday she--

 

No, she took that back. She had received several mating request from two different Krogans, and several messages over the course of her travels wanting to marry her. But to actually go through with it was a first. She didn’t regret saying yes at all, but she hadn’t thought about the fact that she had to actually have a dress and pick out dresses for her bridesmaids. 

 

“Shepard, either you pick out the dress, or I will.” Roxanne raised an eyebrow and walked toward the shop and inside.

 

“Fine, you win.” Roxanne muttered as Miranda just smirked and moved inside.

 

“Don’t worry Shepard, I know you. I picked out several dresses that fit you for, well, you. Besides, I studied you for two years too, I think I got likes.” Miranda moved toward the shop, taking a sharp turn to the left as Roxanne followed her into a private room. She turned to noticed Liara, Kasumi and Tali there as well. 

 

“Oh great.” Roxanne whispered as she turned to walk away and Miranda touched her shoulder.

 

“You make this sound like an execution!” Miranda exclaimed with a smile on her lips. Roxanne’s eyes turned toward her with a raised eyebrow, having a slight hint that she was enjoying this. 

 

“Come on Shepard, we’re here to help you out.” Tali spoke up as she patted the couch and Roxanne glanced at her.

 

“Remember when I bought you that dress? I’m sure we can help you find a dress fitting for you and something your Turian boyfriend will quite appreciate.” Kasumi spoke up as Roxanne sighed. 

 

“No pictures.” She mumbled, as she turned to drag her feet back into the room. She lowered herself down onto the couch, cringing slightly as she hit her side and she realized everyone was staring at her for a moment. “What? I’m okay, really. Just healing. And no, I’m not going back to the apartment, I’ve had enough medical treatment.”

 

“You vitals appear fine Commander, though I sense a spike in your endorphin count hinting at excitement or happiness.” EDI spoke up as Roxanne quickly brought her lips together to shush her. “Was I wrong to state this Commander?”

 

Roxanne signed as she leaned back in the seat. “No, but now everyone knows.” She said as she could see the smiles on their faces.

 

“Just relax Roxanne, we got a prototype of you to try on the dresses so you don’t have to. Come now.”Miranda sat down as she crossed her legs and Roxanne shifted to cross her arms over her chest. But she couldn’t deny what EDI said, she was excited to see what was picked out. She rarely went shopping as it was, most of her closet was filled with a few dresses ironically picked out by Kasumi, but everything else was either jeans, sweats, and tank tops.

 

Her eyes scanned upward as she saw the hologram appear as the first dress that appeared man Roxanne’s eyes grow wide. “Please tell me you are kidding? Your kidding, right?” Roxanne’s body leaned forward as she stared at the dress. First off, it was long sleeve and covered in lace from top to bottom, and the skirt was puffed out like a princess’ ball gown and covered in frill.

 

She heard the laughter from the side as she glanced at other women laughing and Tali spoke up. “Did I not tell you she wouldn’t like that?” Roxanne sighed as she leaned back, and a smile slipped over her lips as she shook her head.

 

“Cruel joke. Next.” For a time being, Roxanne glanced at each dress. She couldn’t deny, Miranda knew what would fit her well, but none of the dresses really screamed ‘prefect’ to Roxanne. She took a deep breath as she waved each dress off, before she finally leaned forward at the single one she was staring at.

 

“Hold it.” Roxanne said, almost slipping up and saying pass. The sweetheart shape on top of the dress was also strapless as she gazed at it for a moment. The cut was slimming, shaping the hologram's figure and a trail lining behind it. There was some embroidery design underneath the bust and along the left side of the waist but overall it was a simple design. Simple, and she liked that. "That one." 

 

She turned to glanced at Miranda as a smile crossed her lips. “I knew I had the perfect one for you.” Miranda picked up the tablet pad and passed it over to Roxanne. HEr fingers looked over it and glanced toward Miranda with a suspicious look on her face. “You have everything filled out already? Seriously, are you thriving on this planning because I haven't had to do a thing yet.” She had a short chuckle as she pressed the button to order it before the hologram shut off and the lights turned back on.

 

“Trust me, Shepard, you aren’t going to have to lift a finger to do a think. I have all of this covered, with some help.” Roxanne turned and raised a brow.

 

“Help?”

 

“Well, even though I could do it on my own, I do think your other comrades would kick my ass if I didn’t include them.” She said and Roxanne glanced toward Liara, Tali, and Kasumi.

  
  


“Possibly. But really, thank you all. I wouldn’t want to do this with anyone else.” Her voice held an earnest touch as she smiled to all of them. “But don’t think that getting me in a dress means I’m not handling a weapon. That’s what the garter is for, isn’t it?”

 

“Shepard!” Tali exasperated and the rest of them started to laugh. Roxanne stood up but she cringed again as she reached for her waist. Immediately, she realized something wasn’t entirely right. A few beads of sweat pressed against her brow as she realized she had been sweating.

 

“Commander, there is a influx of your body temperature. You are running a temperature of one hundred and two degrees and I detect an abnormal rate of white blood cells increase. I suggest you seek out Dr. Chakwas immediately.” EDI’s voice suddenly spoke out as Roxanne growled. Liara’s hand reached over to touch Roxanne’s shoulder.

 

“Come on, let’s go.” HEr voice held concern as Roxanne shook her head.

 

“I’m fine, really. We haven’t even gotten to the bridesmaid dresses.” Roxanne said stalling as Mirand interjected.

 

“Shepard, you are not fit in your condition. If EDI says there is a problem, she’s right. I’m not going to risk your health because of a dress. There’s always another time. Don’t argue, I will throw you over my shoulder if I have to.”

 

Roxanne raised a brow at her and crossed her arms over her chest. “As stubborn as you are, I’m ten times as worse.” Roxanne retorted and Miranda shrugged.

 

“Then we’ll all just carry you out of here.” Roxanne didn’t doubt it, but there was no way she would be caught dead being carried out of this shop. She took a deep breath, and moved out of the room.

 

“Fine, you win, this time.” The muttered words slipped past her mouth as she left the shop and climbed into the skycar while Miranda drove back to the apartment. Her fingers shifted over to lift up her shirt and noticed the darken area around the stab wound on her waist. She thought it had been healing up just fine but apparently it hadn’t and the pain radiated from the location. She leaned back in the seat as the ride took only a few minutes. The moment the door swung open, Garrus was already by the door.

 

“What happened?” He demanded to know as Roxanne waved her hand.

 

“Nothing, just, something.” Roxanne said, not at all knowing what was going on. She climbed out of the seat but stumbled and grabbed Garrus’ arm. “Okay, maybe something, but I don’t know what.” She begrudgingly said, finally admitting something was wrong.

 

“EDI already told us, come on.” Garrus said as she saw Kasumi, Miranda, Liara, and Tali file into the living room while she moved upstairs. She laid back down on the bed as her hands moved to rest against her forehead while Dr. Chakwas examine the wound.

 

“Commander Shepard, why did you not inform us about this earlier?” She questioned as Roxanne shrugged.

 

“Didn’t think it was that serious.”

 

“That serious? Commander, I am your Doctor whether you like it or not. Something is wrong and you tell me. You're more stubborn then a teenager sometimes.” Roxanne couldn’t help but smirk just a little. She never liked hospitals, and much less doctors. But Dr. Chakwas had become a good friend and someone she trusted. But even so, when it came to medical attention she was quick to bypass it until necessary which was now.

 

The moment Chakwas touched around the wound Roxanne jumped in pain and slapped her hand away instinctively. “Sorry, reflexes, but SHIT that hurts!” She shouted and Chakwas looked to Roxanne.

 

“Commander, I trust EDI in her words that this is an infection, but I also wish to do an examination for any other possible complications. But that means I will have to open up the wound and drain it. I believe this is because you’ve been up and moving a little too much then your system can handle. Garrus, I need you to call up my assistant.”

 

Roxanne laid her head back as she grumbled, watching Garrus leave. She wasn’t going to enjoy this and she knew it. “Well, let’s play operation. Might as well get this over with.” She said, already dreading the fact she would be stuck in bed for several more days if not weeks.


	18. Chapter 18

The soft velvety sheets curled around her fingers as she pressed her cheek against the soft cloud like pillow. But no matter how comfortable the bed, how warm and irresistible soft it was, Roxanne wanted to throw it across the room. She laid there in silence staring at the ceiling as soft music echoed within her room. 

 

Damn bedrest. Part of her was half tempted to rip out the IV if not for the painkillers that was pushed into her system allowing her to ignore the angry flames licking at her side. All her movement had caused her body to react poorly to the healing, and somehow a little bit of poison had been missed during the procedure. IT had festered and grew which caused the infection and had also ruptured her appendix. So now, here she was, stuck in bed like a lame goat.

 

Instead of being a happy drugged up Roxanne, she was just angry of being stuck in bed and staring at the screen in front of her. The effects were wearing at her, just as they had when they found her off of the citadel. She didn’t handle any of this well and it left her a bit upset in bed.

 

She pushed herself up to lean against the headboard, glad for the dulling effect of the pain killers as she giggled a little at herself. Wait, did she just giggle? Roxanne knew the pain killers really had her feeling it to be giggling like that.

 

“Did I just hear a giggle?” Garrus said softly as he walked up the stairs and into her room with a tray of warm food.

 

“No!” She shouted quickly, but giggled again. “Okay, maybe. I’m totally drugged up right now. I’m a druggie!” She said before the smell of the warm food hit her nose and her mouth started to water. “Did you make me breakfast??” She said, as she looked like a kitten ready for a warm bowl of milk.

 

“Yes I did, I thought you might like some real food since you’ve been out of it for awhile.” He said with a smile as he set the tray down carefully on the bed. “What do they call that place where you get breakfast in bed?” He questioned.

 

“A bread in breakfast. Wait, no, Bed in breakfast, no that’s not right either.” Roxanne tapped her finger against her chain and then pointed toward Garrus. “A Bed & Breakfast inn! Got it.” She chuckled and took the fork as she dug into the scrambled eggs. 

 

“Did you put…”

 

“Yes, cheese and bacon in it. I know it's your favorite.” Garrus interrupted as Roxanne just smiled brightly and dug into her food. The savory flavor of the eggs blended well with the cheese as she scarfed the food down quickly without a second though. “Roxie, don’t eat too fast!” He said but Roxanne was to hungry to even think about it. She finished off her food pretty quickly as she let out a sigh in contentment. 

 

“Thank you. You're becoming quite a shelf,” She paused and reached her hand up to smack against her forehead. “Haha, I called you a shelf! Chef.” Roxanne could hear Garrus’ laughter against her ear and smiled. The purr in his lips made her beam as she leaned her head to the side.

 

“Ah, Roxie, you really are drugged up.” He commented and she held a grin on her lips.

 

“Yep!” She said, before she leaned over and placed her finger right on his nose. “You know your eyes are really shiny.” She whispered before pushing her lips together briefly. As if already knowing, Garrus leaned over and helped her lay back down so her body was straight in bed.

 

“Take it easy. I rather not have another scare. This time I’m not letting you out of this bed until the doctor says it's okay. Spectre or not.” Roxanne had a small pout on her face but as Garrus leaned over to tuck the blanket around her she leaned up and pecked him on the cheek. 

 

“Surprise!” She said playfully, but at the same time her hand reached out to grab his and held it. “But I know, I don’t mean to scare you. I just can’t sit still. Being in bed is so unnatural. I want to go out and fight and shoot things. Oh, shooting things sounds like fun actually!” She said, her mind distracted for a moment and Garrus had a little smile.

 

“In due time. I’ll take you out for shooting cans again, and we’ll see who’s the better shot again. Remember, last time you were just lucky.” He slyly spoke.

 

“No, I won fair and square. I’m the better shot.” Roxanne wrinkled up her nose and grinned as if being smug.

 

“Sure you are love, sure you are.” Garrus grinned as he got up. “How about I put on something for you to watch. Anything in particular?” His question was met with silence as Roxanne sat there and thought about i.

 

“Maybe a classic? Ever heard of the book Prince of Persia?” She questioned him as she saw his blank stare. “I take that as a no. Good! Then you can enjoy it with me. It's been remade several times over but hey, it's a good book. Now, come and snuggle with me, I need my turian teddy bear.” She said and Garrus found it hard to hold back his laughter.

 

“No one would take you seriously if they heard the way you were talking right now.” Garrus said as he turned on the tv and put on the vid Roxanne asked for. Afterward, he climbed into the bed next to her as she lenaed her head against him and wrapped her arm around him.

 

“But you are my teddy bear, and you do love to snuggle. And cuddle.” She whispered as she looked up as him and he carefully wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

 

“I’m whatever you need me to be right now.” He spoke truthfully as he ran his claw through her hair. “Do you know how much I love your hair?” He asked as she shook her head no. “Quite a bit. I enjoy playing with it. Female Turians don’t have hair like this, and I have to say quite enjoy running my claws through it.”

 

Her green eyes turned up to gaze at him and smiled. “Good thing I never cut my hair then. And now I won’t ever. Never ever ever.” She whispered as she laid her head down against his chest, her eyes trying to focus on the tv but her mind was bouncing through every little thought that went through her head. “Garrus.” She said drawn out as she waited for am oment.

 

“Yes Roxie? And don’t try to trick me, I’m not letting you out of bed.”

 

“Oh no, no getting out of bed, I’m content. But I was thinking about the turian bonding ritual and had a question.” She said softly.

 

“What is it?” The curiosity on his voice was noticeable to Roxanne as she laid there for a moment.

 

“Would you bite me? To leave that scar?” Her question was random as Garrus tilted his head and glanced at her.

 

“You’ve just been through surgery and you are asking me if I would give you a scar? Not to say I wouldn’t be honored to do so Roxie, but at the moment, I don’t want to cause any more injury to you. Besides, you said it was possible you could bleed out ,and I will not risk your life just to follow a little turan tradition.” Roxanne listened even in her dizzy state, as she lifted up her hand to allow her fingernail to pick at her bottom lip, before she turned to stare up at him. 

 

“Oh oh oh!” Excitement ran off her lips as Garrus held a skeptical look on his face.

 

“Shepard, you have that look in your eye that means a crazy idea is about to spill from those lips.” 

 

“No no, nothing bad. Well, maybe crazy but hey, it could be worse!” She said with a smile as she leaned against him. “What about a tattoo? It would kinda be like a scar, but ink instead of a scar. Or we can do scarification, I think that’s how it is, or said, or…” She paused as she thought about it.

 

“Oh Roxie, don’t hurt yourself thinking.” Garrus smirked slightly as he ran his claws through her hair once more.

 

“I think the tattoo would be pretty sweet. We can do a cool pattern to match what it would look like or something. I don’t know, but I totally want to do this. Please? I want us joined in both ways, both in human marriage and turian bonding.” Roxanne said as she looked up at Garrus again. A soft hum rested on her lips as his claw moved up to scratch at the back of her hair and she closed her eyes and leaned against him. “Now that feels good.”

 

“I knew you like it. But if you want to do that, we can. Though I wouldn’t mind getting something unique, something just for us. Nothing Turian or human related, just for us. So instead of bite marks, we can do a unique design.”

 

“That’s awesome. Though I think my Doctor might scream at the idea of doing this right now. Hundred chips she badgers me for even thinking about that right now.” Roxanne chuckled as Garrus grins.

 

“I’m not taking that bet cause I know you would win.” Roxanne started to laugh only to groan and cover her mouth.

 

“Stupid.” She mumbled to herself as she closed her eyes and dulled the pain behind her thoughts before a deep sigh escaped her lips as his claws started to move through her hair once again. She kept her eyes closed for the moment as she focused on the tenderness of his claws and hand, as they moved through the tousle of her hair, gently carressing against her scale and calming her down. It was even so soothing that she knew she could fall asleep.

 

Everything thought on her mind had completely forgotten about the movie, just thinking about what was to come between them. All she needed to do was actually heal up. She wanted out of this damn bed, no more pain killers, nothing. She wanted to be free, to be with Garrus and to get back on her feet with the Alliance and as a Spectre. But for now, she was more the content with snuggling against his side, allowing all her discomfort to disappear as she relaxed within her bed.

 

“I dub thee, thy snuggle bear of the year.” Roxanne teased Garrus as she heard him trying to choke back the laugh on his lips.

 

“You are definitely drugged up. There is no doubt now.” Garrus whispered against her ear as she had a delicate chuckle that brought no pain.

 

“I am, and it's funny. And you know it. And this is the only time you get away with giggling at me.”

 

“Shepard, Turians don’t giggle.” Garrus faked his insulted voice as Roxanne grinned.


	19. Chapter 19

Day by day went passed, and Roxanne actually listened to the doctor’s orders by staying in bed and not straining herself. No matter how far their advancements in medical was, Roxanne had learned the hard way that healing still took time. Even then, she cheated once in awhile by getting up and moving around, but she never left the house. She didn’t want to cause any more damage to her body or risk complications. 

 

She still found it a miracle that her biotic implants were left unharmed for the most part. Whatever had been harmed had been replaced during the surgery, which meant from here on out she had to be on the home stretch of healing. 

 

Nearly a month past and she was able to get herself out of bed but she was still under strict orders to do nothing strenuous or difficult on her body. In short, most of what she wanted to do was out of the question. Her work room was starting to look really nice to her eyes but she resisted the urge to do so, instead depending upon her feet to walk from point A to point B instead. Since she couldn’t doing any lifting or hand to hand combat, walking seemed her choice option. Plus her joints were getting stiff from all the bed rest and she preferred the fast pace of her life.

 

Little by little she finally felt her life getting back on track, and having Garrus by her side made everything worthwhile. Even though she had a difficult time handling her mediocre schedule at the moment with simple task, she was finally getting back up to speed. Due to the conflict and her healing period, she had been placed on temporary shore leave from the Alliance until Dr.Chakwas gave her seal of approval that she would be ready for work once more.

 

Roxanne rolled her shoulders as she finally found the chance to get out to the shooting range. She felt rusty and wanted to get her hands dirty with a bit of shooting rounds. Part of her thought about going to the arcade room where she could use the simulation, but something about an old fashion shooting range felt better. Though in the back of her mind she was tempted to see if Garrus wanted to go shoot cans off the top of the skyscraper instead.

 

But he was busy that morning and she wasn’t going to call him off to do something like that. Instead she went on her own time, catching a skycar over to the Welder’s range just south of the dublin river. She climbed out of the vehicle, as she saw several people staring and a few appearing a bit more excited like children with candy.

 

“Are you The Shepard?” A younger man, Roxanne guessed to be in his young twenties, suddenly asked as she moved toward the counter.

 

“Yeah, pretty sure I am.” She said, not at all surprised now that it the The had been placed in front of her name. Her lip half smirked at the realization of how it made her sound like a thing instead of a person now. 

 

“You're the reason I joined the Alliance! I can’t believe you are here, in person! None of my battle buddies are ever going to believe this.” He said, as Roxanne shook her head.

 

“Then take a picture. Can’t be that hard to take a selfie.” She said as he blinked and she moved her fingers over her omni tool and a small screen came up. Without even given him a chance she leaned in beside him, clicking a button and the image appeared on the tol. “There, now you can tell everyone.” She added, smacking his back as he just looked like a frozen man who had his soul sucked away.

 

“Oookay then. Have fun.” She said with a laugh and got herself hologram room. Once that had been set up she moved over, her eyes glancing over the weapons of choice. Her fingers reached over and picked up the M-96 Mattock and took a moment to get adjusted to it. Afterward she stepped into the room as she hit the panel with a few adjustments to the system. 

 

Her fingers moved around the weapon as her left finger was ready on the trigger. With the scoop in place she could take time for single head shots but Roxanne always preferred the more direct hard and fast route. The ding told her the range was hot as she readied herself.

 

The holograms moved with extreme proficiency of any enemy  as she began to fire her weapon with ease. Each round hit her enemy without a blink of her eye, as she twisted around on her feet to get the enemies behind her. A bing above told her someone was within hand to hand range as she pivoted on her feet and flung her weapon toward their head.

 

A flash crossed her eyes as she visually saw herself repeating the same notion, her weapon hitting Finch in the head. His eyes staring her down ready to inflict his damaging words on her and proving she was a killer.

 

“NO!” She yelled, as the weapon flicked back into her hand and she shot several rounds at the hologram that was no longer there. She paused as she realized no one was there, and shook her head. Her fingers slipped along a strand of hair that fell into her eyes before taking aim once more and hitting the other enemies.

 

Each hologram that fell only made her heart beat faster and the beads of sweat appearing on her forehead. She was pushing herself, too far, as she saw the last enemy running toward her. Again she saw a flash as the hologram turned into a blond headed woman, her dark eyes digging into her heart, reminding her of the mayhem she had cause and the darkness that lied there. Roxanne just yelled as she threw all her thermal clips into that one hologram before stopping. She blinked her eyes a few times, realizing it was just the holograms and her arms fell down to her side.

 

The cheering from outside caught her ear as she glanced over to see several men and women who had stopped their work and was watching her. But to her, she felt like nothing but Varren dung. She reached up with her right hand, wiping away the sweat as she just smiled toward the others and stepped out, putting the weapon back on the rack and giving the clips back to the manager. 

 

She needed a walk, she needed to get away from those memories that haunted her. She knew what she had one was right, and that in her heart she was a good person.

 

But she could never forget what she had done with her own two hands and the blood that rested on them. She felt as if a pair of black wings were dawned upon her back, the opposite of the white wings that archangel possessed. Though she appeared calm and collected in her outward appearance, inside was a raging storm of chaos, the hurricane destroying every little thought and detail.

 

It was a difficult battle in itself, but she knew it would be one she would conquer. She knew she could never win it, but the least she could do is keep herself on top of it, to know that what she did had been for the right reasons. Though the small doubt echoed in her ear. Did she? What if someone else thought they had the right reasons even though to her it wasn’t.

 

The area of gray swirled in her mind as she shook her head. That’s when she realized she had walked all the way into the park. Her fingers dug into her jacket as she moved to sit down, staring at the statue in the center of the park. Water flew from the spouts into the bottom of the fountain and the shimmer of tiny stones at the bottom. She remembered reading about how years ago, before even the idea of relays existed, people would toss coins into the fountain instead to make a wish. She moved toward the fountain and reached down to pick up a small stone that was on the ground.

 

Her fingers ran over the coarse stone between her pointer, middle, and thumb finger. She didn’t believe in making wishes, as her life was determined by her own hand but for the sake of it she made one anyone. With a flick of her thumb, the stone flew into the water and with a little plunk sunk to the bottom of the foundation.

 

“Commander Shepard,” the voice completely caught Roxanne off guard as she looked down at her wrist where her omnitool was but it wasn’t even activated. Without a thought she turned around and her eyes widen.

 

“EDI? Wait, when did this happen?” She questioned as she looked at EDI’s new body. "I requested that everyone keep it a secret until it was fully up and operational. Joker suggested that I find you face to face once I was transitioned. I thought you might do with some good news." EDI spoke as Roxanne glanced over the body.

 

"I see you kept the initial design as the last one." Roxanne spoke, though still surprise on her lips.

 

"I did. I thought Joker would be more comfortable if I kept a similar appearance to the last platform I had. Plus I prefer the body as it allowed ground support and excellent balance and agility." EDI spoke as Roxanne just chuckled. 

 

"Its nice to have you back EDI." Roxanne added as she patted her shoulder.

 

"Commander, I noticed an irregular shift in your brainwaves during your training at the range. It didn't appear normal in your human behavior and suggested an increase pattern of hostility and aggravation. Do you wish to speak about your concerns?" EDI questioned Roxanne as Roxanne crossed her arms and look back into the fountain.

 

"It's difficult EDI."

 

"I will do my best to comprehend the behavior and advise you. I have thousands of accounts on human behavior and the positive steps on decreasing the hostility and problematic confrontations." EDI added and Roxanne couldn't help but chuckled slightly.

 

"I don't really think that will help, but thank you EDI."

 

"Then will a listening ear help? I believe it was called 'a shoulder to lean on'?" 

 

Roxanne turned around to look at EDI as she leaned against the fountain and her arms were crossed. "It's what happened. I know it's been almost four months, but it still bothers me. What they made me do, or how they shaped me. I know who I am, that's not that problem. It's just that, I let it happened. It's like there is this little black spark that I can feel urging at me, pulling me back." She glanced up to EDI and then chuckled. "Not that I'm going to, but just that it concerns me that it's there."

 

The silence floated between them as EDI put her hands behind her back. "Commander, may I speak openly?" Roxanne gave a nod.

 

"You don't have to ask, go on."

 

"I think the best thing I can think of to go with this is a phrase in your literature. 'You are only human.' You make mistakes and there is no way to turn around and erase those mistakes, but in your situations you learn to adapt, change, and move past such stipulations. You are coded as a VI to continue the same process. Nor are you like the reapers, coded with an AI to continue the same process over and over without a need to change you hard firm processing. Shepard, you have made your behavior your own and followed your own instincts as you see fit. But from my knowledge and understanding of all your reports, there is one thing that never changes with you. It is your constant, and that is your desire to do good. Even with the crisis, your drive core, your heart that is, always leads you in the direct to protect and serve." EDI spoke as she tilted her head and glanced at Roxanne.

 

Silence wavered between them as Roxanne just stared at her. For a moment, she had struggled with her decisions back at Fantasia but hearing EDI place it in such direct terms left her speechless for a moment. "EDI, I, wow." She whispered.

 

"Did I speak of ill terms Commander?" EDI questioned.

 

"No EDI, what you said was perfect. Thank you." She said, as she reached over and wrapped her arms around the synthetic body. She felt the pause in EDI's body before her arms reached around and patted her back. Roxanne couldn't help but laugh as she leaned back. "EDI, remind me to teach you how to hug and comfort people physically."

 

"Yes Commander. It is in my database to try and deliver positive feedback in such ways. But I do not quite understand the need for physically contact."

 

"It's a means of showing happiness or a way to say thank you. And sometimes it's like what you said, a shoulder to lean on. It just makes people feel better." Roxanne explained as she leaned back against the fountain.

 

"So it's a way of positive feedback as well? I will have to integrate this into my core programming. Maybe Joker will have some tips."

 

"Oh, that I don't doubt." Roxanne grinned as she stood up and patted EDI’s back.

 

“Come on, we have something to prepare for in a few weeks don’t we? And you need to try on your first dress.

 

“Is this body not capable enough as it is Commander?” EDI questioned as Roxanne laughed.

 

“Oh, it's fine. It's just tradition. I’ll explain on the way.” Roxanne said, her mind suddenly at ease as she spoke with EDI on the way back home.


	20. Chapter 20

White silk ran along the floor as the dress fit perfectly around Roxanne's body. The heart shape strapless corset clung to her with an elegantly framed bodice. The embellished lace motifs lined along her bosom and on her left hip with a light framed chiffon ruched along the bodice. The back of the gown flowed like water, creating a beautiful flowing train perfect for the bride to be. HEr eyes stared at herself for a moment.

 

“Shepard,”

 

“Please, just Roxanne today.” Roxanne said before even realizing who the voice came from. She turned around to look at Liara as she moved her fingers along her hair to brush it behind her ear.

 

“Roxanne, you look stunning. Garrus is truly a lucky turian.” Liara spoke as Roxanne glanced down for a moment. “What?”

 

“You're not upset? We have history, you and I. And I know how much it hurt, I remember your words.” Roxanne said, a slight hint of guilt on her tongue as Liara moved toward her with a soft grace like a swan.

 

“Roxanne, you found love. I was upset but not at you. I was never upset with you. Maybe things would have been different if I stayed with you, if I joined you all those years back, but I didn’t. You moved on, as so did I. All that matters now is your happiness, and that’s all I have ever wanted for you. I’m just happy I got some moments with you to know who you are. Not just the Commander, but Roxanne.” A smile graced Liara’s face as Roxanne smiled. Her arms wrapped around Liara as she held her in a close hug.

 

“I’ve never forgotten what we had, and I’m still honored to have had a chance with you. I hope you find love again Liara.” Roxanne said, as she pulled back. Liara took her hands again and smiled.

 

“Even if I don’t, I know what it's like. No matter what, I will always be here for you Roxanne, always. Now, wait, Roxanne?” Liara said, as she looked down at the dress and Roxanne had a sly smirk on her lips.

 

“What, did you guys not believe me when I said I would have a weapon on me? I’m not going to walk down the aisle defenseless! Wait if we get ambushed or something.” Roxanne’s lips had a smile on her lips, trying so hard to hold back the laugh on the tip of her tongue.

 

“You’ll always be Commander Shepard, be in dress or pants.” Liara said with a grin on her lips and moved out of the way of the mirror so Roxanne could turn back toward it. HEr fingers nimbly worked along her hair, adding in several gems so that her hair glistened like a diamond to match the beaded lace on her dress.

 

Roxanne had her hair half up and down, curled in every fashion possible. A small tiara lined the top part of her hair like a crown, but nothing too elaborate for the most part, allowing her hair to catch people attention rather the what she was wearing. She wasn't one for massive shine or detailed outfits, rather she wanted to outfit rather than the outfit wearing her. A little curl ran beside her face, framing it softly as Roxanne ran her fingers down her dress.

 

“Are you ready?” Liara asked as Roxanne turned toward her.

 

“I defeated the reapers, I’m sure I can handle a wedding.” Roxanne said as Liara smiled and offered her arm.

 

“Then we better not keep the groom waiting.” She said and as if on cue, the music started playing outside. Roxanne’s heart started to beat faster as she took Liara’s arm and waved her hand as the biotics pushed back the sides and allowed the two of them to walk out. 

 

Nerves kicked in as Roxanne couldn’t believe how hard she felt her heart racing. She knew there was no reason to be nervous, but she couldn’t help but that instinctive thought of fear of what she was doing. She took a deep breath as she felt Liara’s hand rest on her arm as they walked down the grass toward the cliff.

 

Her eyes looked up past her eyelashes and the moment she looked at Garrus, all her nerves melted away. A smile crossed over her lips as she gazed at the Turian. She was sure Joker had helped with the outfit, because he wore what looked like a suit, though uniquely designed to fit around his carapace and his body frame. The black suit looked commanding with a white tie to match her white dress and she spied even a white vest underneath.

 

But what she was glue to was those eyes, they always held such strength and conviction that she couldn’t stop looking at them. At that moment her heart slowed down and eased into a steady beat as she smiled. She knew her friends were there, everyone who had been her family to her. They may be her comrades, but they were more then that. She hadn’t ever had a family, no parents no siblings. Everyone here was that family now. Blood didn’t make a bond, it was the bond of loyalty that did.

 

Once she was a hand’s length away from Garrus, Liara let her go as Roxanne smiled toward her and then reached up toward Garrus. Everything moved smoothly through the ceremony, with the words slipping from their tongues without even a passing thought. Roxanne knew she wanted this now, with each moment that passed she felt as if she belonged here, by his side. 

 

She had never expected to hear wedding vows for herself. In fact, she never expected to get married in the first place. But with Garrus it was perfect, and she wanted to be with no one else but him. And to hear him speaking his vows made her believe more than anything they were perfect for this. A bit off though was the rings. Instead of placing a ring on his finger, she took a small stainless steel beaded chain with a ring on it around his neck, though he had to duck down just a little which got a laugh from her and the rest of the crowd. Afterward, she felt his hand take hers and easily slipped the ring onto her finger. She gazed down at the ring, the same five sapphires glowing like his own eyes.

 

There wasn’t a moment to stall as the chaplin pronounced them husband and white. She wrapped her arms around his neck as his arms wrapped around her waist and she pulled him into a kiss. The cheers drowned out in her ears as she held the kiss for a moment, before letting it break and gazing at him.

 

“I love you Garrus.” She whispered and he grinned as he placed a hand on her cheek.

 

“And I love you Roxanne.” He added, before whispering so only she could hear. “And I quite love the fact you have a pistol in your garter. Is that my gift?”

 

A smirk crossed her lips as she whispered back. “You have been reading up on your marriage customs haven’t you?” A soft laughed came from both their lips as they moved off the platform to their friends. A bit untraditional but Roxanne was never one for doing things the right way anyway. 

 

“Now, I think we should get us all back to the apartment so we can have some fun and games.” She said toward the others as she heard a cheer from them. She touched Garrus’ face and planted another kiss on his lips. “Hope you don’t mind a drunk wife Garrus, cause I’m ready for some fun.” She added and Garrus just grinned.

 

“We got plenty of drinks to get a whole clan of Krogan drunk. Let’s see who holds out the longest.” Garrus said before sweeping his arms underneath her legs as Roxanne eye’s widen in surprise and laughed. With ease Garrus carried her over to the skycar as everyone else climbed into one as well and set off for her apartment room. Her finger reached over toward her ring, twisting it on her finger as Garrus glanced over to her.

 

“I haven’t had a chance to tell you, but you look stunning Roxie.” He spoke as he drove the vehicle from the cliffside and Roxanne leaned back in the chair and grinned.

 

“And I think you are the only turian who could pull off a suit quite as handsomely like that. Did joker help you?” She asked as Garrus glanced toward her.

 

“How did you know?” Roxanne smirked and gave a nod. 

 

“I know my crew. And I really like it, you should keep it. Never know when it might come in use again, though I have a feeling not many people ever see you in that.”

 

“Well, it's not a typical fashion for a Turian. There’s no advantages to it, well, except maybe the tie if I can get it off fast enough.” Roxanne busted out laughing at that point, as she reached over and placed her hand on his leg.

 

“Of course. Though I’m sure that tie could come in handle for something more than just a fight.” A soft allure on her lips made Garrus glanced over at her for a minute.

 

“Wait, Roxanne, are you…” It took a moment for Garrus to realize they were no longer talking about a defensive tactical unit and Roxanne couldn’t help but smirk. 

 

“Yes, yes I am.” She purred as they drove continue their way toward their home.

 

“Well, I might just have to see how this works Mrs Vakarian. You might have to indulge this turian with the idea.” Garrus spoke in a rich tone as Roxanne chuckled.

 

“Oh, I will. Trust me, I will. She leaned back in her seat as she relaxed, though she couldn’t help as she lifted her fingers up toward the scars that lined her shoulder blade, along with the few scars on her neck. So many stories to go with these battle wounds but she would never trade them for the world. Afterward, she leaned over to turn on some music, allowing it to fill the car as it took a few hours to get back to the apartment.

 

Once they had arrived, she climbed out of the vehicle and picked up her dress so she could enter into the apartment. The music was already bustling as she glanced toward the rest of them. “You know the drill, make yourself thome, have a few drinks, whatever you want. The place is open to you guys.” She said, as she picked up the hem of the dress to move upstairs. There was no way she as going to party in this dress, it was too long and easily torn.

 

Instead, on her bed, was a copy of the dress but shorter. She shifted her hand skillfully to pull the tie on the dress, as the fabric loosen so she could wiggle out of the dress, letting it fall down onto the ground and she picked it up to put it on the hanger. Afterward she threaded her legs through and pulled the thigh high dress onto her body, zipping up the back so that it fit snugly along her frame. She took the pistol and placed it on her desk before heading back downstairs.

 

The sounds of caps popping told her the drinks were already being passed around and she could hear Traynor in the distance asking for drink request. She leaned up against the railing as she just watched everyone from a distance. The last time they had done this, they were convinced they would die after the events on Earth. Now, Roxanne was glad to see all her friends actually enjoying a time without fear of death. It was how things should be.

 

“Commander on deck, everyone run!” The shout caught her ear as she looked over at Joker and shook her head.

 

“Isn’t that working against yourself Joker?”

 

“EDI can carry me.” Joker grinned as he picked up a beer and tossed it toward her. Roxanne’s arm outstretched and grabbed the bottle and tipped it toward him. 

 

“well, don’t stop on my accord. Anyone leaves leaves more alcohol for me.” She said with a smirk and filed into the living room. Her body dropped into the couch as she let out a sigh, leaning her head back with a smile on her lips. The ease on her shoulders made her relax for the first time in years, not a concern or worry to distract her thoughts.

 

A bounce on the couch made her sit up and glanced to see James sitting next to her. “So Lola, how’s it feel to be hitched? Is it Commander Vakarian now?”

 

“Damn good James, actually. And it's a mouthful, and everyone knows Commander Shepard anyway.”

 

“Ah, come on Lola, don’t keep me hanging. Not everyone gets to know the whole story.”

 

Roxanne just smirked and took a chug of her beer before tilting her head. “The whole thing, including rank?”

 

“Yes.” James didn’t even stall as he waited.

 

“Spectre and Commander Roxanne Miranda Shepard-Vakarian.”

 

“Shit, Lola, I think I’ll just keep with my nickname for you, as long as there is nothing against such things.” James tested his limits as Roxanne grinned.

 

“I allowed it before, I got nothing wrong with it.” Roxanne said as she clicked her beer against his and they both took a drink.

 

“Good, cause you’ve always been Lola to me. I’ll leave you to your other guest, I’m sure there’s more people to talk to then little ol’ me.” James said as he clapped his hand over her back.

 

“Ah, bored of me already James, I’m wounded.” Roxanne teased him as James laughed.

 

“Pft, Lola, if you are boring then I’m retiring from the Alliance cause there is no point.” James spoke as Roxanne started laughing. She shifted her leg over to cross over her right leg and watched from a distance. She rarely made herself the center of attention, even on her wedding day. She moved her hand up to run along the top of her bottle as her mind faded into thought for a moment before she slipped into listening to people.

 

She had conversations here and there, but more or less she kept herself quiet, enjoying this day. It wasn’t everyday that they could relax without a worry on their mind. It had been nearly five years of chaos, day in and day out on her mind. The fact that she was sitting here without that worry clicked as she lowered her drink from her hand. She got up, grabbing herself a few shots and went to the room for a moment. 

 

Slipping off was easy enough, it wasn’t going unnoticed that didn’t work. She sat down on the floor at the edge of her bed, as she down both shots quickly to help quicken up the pace of getting drunk. But it was in hopes to distract her from the emotional overload she just felt.

 

Roxanne wasn’t upset, or even mad. She was relieve, and now that she had a moment to actually realize that her emotions were caving in on her. A soft click made her head turn over to look over and saw Garrus standing there.

 

“Everyone’s wondering where you went.” He spoke softly, as he sat down beside her. “Is everything alright? This wasn’t the wrong thing to do was it?” He questioned, concerned for her.

 

“No, it's perfect. And just, that’s exactly why.” She said, as she put the shot glass down and turned over to place her face against his chest. The moment she was in his arms, she felt the tears slip from her face and down her cheeks. The silent emotions filled her gaps of words  as she just clinged to him. His arms wrapped around her as she allowed herself to fully cry. She wasn’t feeling sadness, but an immense calm washing over her and she just couldn’t handle to intensity it had.

 

Garrus softly ran his claws against her back, soothing her in silence as she took a moment for herself. “Garrus,” She choked behind her sobs as she leaned up, rubbing at her cheeks. A soft smile crossed her lips as she was glad at Miranda’s suggestion for waterproof makeup. She was fully convinced she wasn’t going to cry this entire day and yet here she was breaking that thought.

 

“It's just that we, we haven’t had a moment’s peace like this. There’s no reapers, no collectors, no gangs to fight against or some insane chaotic rampaging maniacs around. We actually have a moment to just be us.” She tried to speak between her welling emotion inside as he just smiled and touched her cheek.

 

“I know, it feels a bit odd to not have someone shooting us through the window.” Garrus replied as Roxanne chuckled.

 

“I was just overwhelmed at the realization and I needed a minute. It's been a constant fight for almost five years. To have this moment of bliss, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Not that I’m going to sit back and just quit, just, appreciating the quiet.” Roxanne said as she leaned over and kissed him. “Thank you.”

 

A soft look of confusion crossed his face. “What for?”

 

“You’ve been there from the beginning. You’ve always been a friend and a constant companion, and now you are my husband. But more then that you’ve kept me sane, believe it or not. I wouldn’t want to spend my life with anyone else but you.” The truth slipped from her lips easily as she rested her forehead against his.

 

“Always and forever, Shepard. Always.” He whispered to her, as she closed her eyes and relaxed within his arms.

 


End file.
